Male staff member in store

[Pbjsand]

Not sure if IAMBU about this, but it irritates me to no end:

I often go to a store for groceries. The store has taken to putting a male member of staff at the door (not security) to greet customers. I’m usually rushing in and out after/before school run and every.single.time. I have this man in my face saying hello as I enter and goodbye 5-10 mins later as I leave.

I feel harassed and like I’m forced to interact with an unknown man for no apparent reason when I just want to get on with my shopping, even when I make a point of looking away, trying to enter the store as far as possible from where he’s standing. It makes me so uncomfortable but I can’t put my finger on why.

This is the sort of role that needs to be done by a man. Imagine if one of the women from the checkouts did it - you'd have to allow an hour to get in and out. It would be just like the difference between the barbers and the hairdressers - both cut your hair but one you only get a brief update on the weather, the other you'll know of every weekend plan you both have for the next 15 years.

Help her do ….what?

If it was a woman would that make a difference?

There is a bit of a poster campaign atm to encourage people to acknowledge the bus driver by saying hello

Yes, we generally do this in the North, nice to hear that London is trying to become as civilised.

This ^

What a pathetic, neurotic world we live in. OP, you are a being a div. I feel embarrassed for you.

I think stores hope that 'friendly greeters', aka engaging with staff, helps deter shoplifters.

How dare he 🙄

To you there isn't. You're making an assumption.

So what if strangers/people think you're rude. You have a choice. Choose not to reply. The end.

No need for drama/overthinking/navel gazing.

He’s ‘soft’ security - able to flag up any known faces, shoplifters, druggies who want to inject in the loos, people who might need a bit of extra support, as well as being a friendly face to people who might not get the chance to say a single other word to a friendly face all day, etc. He will meet potentially thousands of people in a shift and he is not the slightest bit interested in you. Just smile and get on with your day.

Understand why she feels this way and develop strategies to help her feel less uncomfortable. Believe it or not, we don't all struggle with the same things.

Do you live down south up north everyone says hello to everyone

This is massively a "you" problem. The man on the door is a greeter, he isn't harassing you by saying hello. Sorry, but you are being rather silly.

This is so far fetched I have to question if you are even on the right post.

You're making assumptions and judging, right there in your post.

Good grief, I do wonder how some people function in society these days.

I can't help but think your reaction is quite extreme. Physically shying away is bizarre.

He's not stopping you for a chat, he's literally saying hello as you enter. A quick "hi" as you pass is an incredible non-event.

This is it exactly. It's so fake, it's irritating. Saying good morning to the security staff is completely different - that's actually an interaction of choice.

Stop your sexist drivel

Has he been licenced by The Greeters Guild ? He should really be in a smoking jacket, white trousers, and a pencil moustache - if not, you might want to complain, they are using a cheap substitute.

I don’t know even notice most of the time

I think it’s interesting to read the various threads about the erosion of community, increasing selfishness and entitlement, how manners are declining, and the like, then read a thread like this where a simple ‘hello’ is (to many) an affront and to be avoided at all costs. Aren’t these tiny interactions part of a much bigger societal picture?

I’m deeply antisocial by nature, but a simple hello, goodbye, whatever (without breaking stride) can actually give the day a little lift. That said, if they’re trying to sell breakdown cover or chugging, I tend to ignore.

OP, I understand that you don’t like it, and that it’s making you tense, but if you can just offer a simple hello back and exhale, it might just make the experience more bearable.

I know right?! A male shop worker spoke to me!! Heaven forbid!

Absolutely ludicrous. He doesn't think the OP, or all the other people he greets, are "interested in him" FFS. No need to mention a husband or partner. That would be unhinged.

You keep repeating yourself.