Male staff member in store

[Pbjsand]

Not sure if IAMBU about this, but it irritates me to no end:

I often go to a store for groceries. The store has taken to putting a male member of staff at the door (not security) to greet customers. I’m usually rushing in and out after/before school run and every.single.time. I have this man in my face saying hello as I enter and goodbye 5-10 mins later as I leave.

I feel harassed and like I’m forced to interact with an unknown man for no apparent reason when I just want to get on with my shopping, even when I make a point of looking away, trying to enter the store as far as possible from where he’s standing. It makes me so uncomfortable but I can’t put my finger on why.

I agree with OP. I hate this sort of thing. The company owners are trying to force you to interact as a strategy to deter shoplifters but women have this happen all the time when men with the intention to harass try to force interaction so it jars. At the end of the day the company is trying to force interaction n this is unwanted by some people.

For greeters it's literally their job to say hello to everyone that comes into the shop. He isn't waiting around the doorway in the hope OP will come in so he can say hello for goodness sake.

would you rather he told you to eff off? get a life seriously

Blimey that’s a bit of a reach??

He’s literally PAID to talk to OP ( the same as other customers) … because he is a greeter.

Im sure plenty of people ignore him so just do the same? I doubt he would give a shit either way 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't mind as long as they don't agree with comments, or comment themselves. I've been walking behind my adult autistic DD and another random man has tried to call her rude, or comment to the greeter 'that she could have said hello'. If the greeter ignores or shuts it down, great. But I have had to interject that she isn't rude, she's autistic. They haven't been bothered that the 60 year old woman hasn't given a smile and a hello, just the under 25 year old. It isn't easy being a young ND woman.

Are you going to Fortnum & Mason?

I've never seen any 'greeter' like this in any supermarket. Are you sure he's not security? I am sure he must be.

You don't have to respond to him. If you want, you can look straight ahead and be very focused on your shopping.

Not much you can do other than tolerate it, complain (repeatedly if necessary, to management) or boycott

The people doing the job feel awkward and hate it too! It’s very American and doesn’t sit right with Brits usually. I worked for Gap many years ago and had to do this is was the most hated job. So acknowledge and go on with your shopping.

You have too much time on your hands and are choosing to be offended.
This employee, possibly on minimum wage has been told he has to do this, he is probably bored, and tired having to say hello to customers.
Honestly, just acknowledge it and get on with your day. Why you had to say male I don't know, women do it as well.

OP , here’s some gratuitous advice, you need to stay clear of London buses .

There is a bit of a poster campaign atm to encourage people to acknowledge the bus driver by saying hello or thanking them as you get off the bus ( yes I know what’s coming, they are doing a job they get paid no one says Thankyou to me yada yada) I think it’s a really nice thing to do, have noticed it before on rural and country buses and think it helps to reinforce social bonds. Plus bus drivers, like security people and shop workers generally, are often the victims of abuse from the gbp so anything that can counter that negativity is a good thing.

You are meanwhile choosing not to understand that we are all different.

I cannot fathom why saying a quick hello to somone as you walk past them could be a negative in any way.

I do get what you mean. At my local Tesco there’s a member of staff who gets quite up in your space - and usually follows up with a question or comment he expects you to answer. I find it really uncomfortable and literally avoid that shop now.

It will be a security thing. Being able to say hi to someone as they greet you is such an easy and basic social function that most people wouldn’t even give it a second thought.

It's not harassing. Some people will like the interaction, it's no bad thing. Others won't get involved. You're giving it too much headspace. Just put headphones on, nod and get on with your shopping.

I'd assume plain clothed store security.

OP, next time you shop, buy the biggest butternut squash and drop it on his foot when he approaches you. That’ll learn him.

"Person exists to be friendly" shocker.

There is no forced interaction

Some people don't like forced interaction - shocker. 😬

There also comes a point where we have to apply basic common sense.

To you there isn't.
To those of us who hate it that's what it feels like. If we don't respond we're accused of being rude.

Basic common sense would include accepting that we don't all experience the world in the same way.

If you don't want to speak to him, you don't have to. Put yourself in his shoes, having to put on a happy face for miserable people who think it's beneath them to acknowledge an "unknown man" who is just doing his job. I doubt he really wants that part of his job. I also doubt he's actually "in your face".

So if you don't like it just don't interact.

Or shop in a different shop if it causes you stress.