Parents hate the Childfree

[Youstolemygoddamnhouse]

Over the past few days there have been several post regarding children for example Our new Neighbours and my loud children and To think it's unacceptable to say you don't like children. in both posts there are hateful comments about Childfree people. The second post in particular never mentioned anything about childfree people but then people started making comments about them. Plenty of parents hate other children despite having them. Why do parents care so much about Childfree people and their choices? Are you jealous? Need validation? Why all the hate? Most importantly will you own up to it?

YABU - I don’t hate the childfree
YANBU - yes I hate the childfree

Not something I’d be even remotely drawn to!

This really does not happen

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4276496-New-Forest-pub-bans-under-12-year-olds

People see what they want to see as demonstrated upthread

It seems from this thread that no one is going to convince the child free people on this thread that they aren’t hated and the truth, which is no one is actually thinking twice about them, will never quite sink in. In today’s society everyone wants to make themselves a victim about something and bleating on about people hating those without children (the biggest load of bollocks I’ve ever heard!) is just the latest thing for people to feel sorry for themselves about.

Most of my friends are childfree and it’s fantastic.

What is?

it is a bit bleak isn’t it? A refusal to see that this isn’t a “parent” versus “non parent” issue but rather some examples of inconsiderate people that happen to have children

It says the link is broken
all I could see is the thread from 4 years rather than the actual article

do you know the name of the pub? I would bet they have changed that policy 4 years on

Bingo
I found the pub
it’s the Compass Inn in Windsor

so that was the policy in 2021 that made the headlines.

i have just been on the website for that pub and… lo and behold 😂

I'm childfree and have rarely, if ever, noticed any 'hate' from parents.

I am 55 now, so obviously well past my childbearing years. But even when I was young enough to have children, I only very occasionally got the 'Don't you think you're missing out?' line. I also got 'Lucky you!' from parents now and then, but I never considered it to mean that they wished they were childfree too, just that occasionally they might miss the flexibility and freedom of their former lives.

I think this 'childfree vs parents' thing is mostly an internet phenomenon rarely seen in real life.

My kids are grown up now, but when they were little I can honestly say I was pretty much oblivious to the child free. They were neither here nor there to me.

The site just so happens to be one of the biggest discussion forums in the UK with many different topics. AIBU is probably the most popular and 90% of threads are not parenting related. It's also good for quick advice in an emergency. Not having the childfree on here would be assuming parents have no other topic than kid stuff to talk about.

Its more the experiences posted on the thread that i posted it for

You have never had friends that are childfree? I have friends who have children. Mostly grown up now as I’m pretty long in the tooth myself!

While there are inconsiderate parents, at the same time, kids are kids, and should not have to be perfect little robots in order to be allowed to participate in society.

I haven’t had a chance to look through every single post yet but yup I still stand by what I said. There is a lot of hate towards the Childfree and by some of the comments on this thread it’s kind of proved my point 😄

Can you give us some examples of the hateful comments?

I've seen people mention others being childfree, but I don't think that's the same.

So you're saying it's fine for a child to go up to another table at a restaurant and take food off it?!?!? Wow. You've just red flagged yourself as one of those "inconsiderate parents". Congrats. Crazy how many people have kids but then fail to adequately parents them and expect society to deal with the consequences.

That sounds like a very healthy approach. I can only imagine the criticism we'd get if we focused on our old age half as much as some parents seem to...I think they'd tell us to get therapy. But it's like they can't wait to be elderly just to prove a point! I'd rather not waste 20 years in my prime doing something I don't wanna do (raise kids) for some hypothetical "insurance" in old age.

? It’s fantastic that most of my friends are child free? I don’t understand what’s not to understand. I have children, they don’t. I love my many childless friends. They’re always on adventures and I get to join, plus they also love my children. Win win

I've never had any reaction that could be called hate / hatred from parents because I don't have any children. There was some startled disbelief at first from family members, as if not wanting them was an insane choice, but that died away when people got used to it. I imagine women get that much worse.

On Mumsnet, there's sometimes a patronising othering by many parents. See the threads entitled something along the lines of "What do childfree people do with their weekends?" for examples. You'll see that many posters with children see the lives of their childfree acquaintances as a pointless void, with absolutely nothing to do, and time wasted on lie ins, bottomless brunches and other empty pursuits. I think my favourite comment was when formerbabe declared that she was "fascinated by childfree people who have cleaners". Those were her exact words. I've also read on here that people who don't have children aren't proper grown ups.

There's also plenty of sympathy for us as poor lambs who haven't had our epiphany, and so have yet to see the light, as we trudge through our black and white lives, never seeing the technicolor that parents have. And, of course, we never get to experience true love.

The closest I see to hatred / dislike is when non-parents might want Christmas Day off work, meaning that parents might have to work it, and therefore it might be less magical for their children. But most threads about that now have the majority of parents agreeing that childless /childfree should also have their turn in having Christmas off.

I’ve seen hateful posts about children, people choosing to have children, as well as people without children.

I’ve been on and off mumsnet for 20 years and have noticed the hateful threads and posts about children have increased massively in the last couple of years. When posters say they hate children, some respond by making a dig at people without children so that would account for more of those too.

I’m sure most posters aren’t interested in hating children, parents or people without children. As usual it’s just some who want to cause division and others getting caught up in it.

I have friends with children
I have friends without children

neither group “fantastic” because they are or are not parents.

They are fantastic because they are my friends and I think they’re fantastic! Those with children were fantastic before they had children. Those without children would be fantastic if they do have children.

Good luck with that

we get a post or two
from threads back in 2021

If it's so awful here on MUMsnet and us pesky parents then I highly highly reccomend childfreenet.