Parents hate the Childfree

[Youstolemygoddamnhouse]

Over the past few days there have been several post regarding children for example Our new Neighbours and my loud children and To think it's unacceptable to say you don't like children. in both posts there are hateful comments about Childfree people. The second post in particular never mentioned anything about childfree people but then people started making comments about them. Plenty of parents hate other children despite having them. Why do parents care so much about Childfree people and their choices? Are you jealous? Need validation? Why all the hate? Most importantly will you own up to it?

YABU - I don’t hate the childfree
YANBU - yes I hate the childfree

Do you genuinely feel that someone saying

It's having a family of your own. Grandchildren great grandchildren all the rest of it that makes older peoples lives so much better

As a reason to why they chose to have children, an opinion common amongst the majority of the population, is a "horrible post" and "taking a pop at child free/less posters?"

If I say: a child free person is likely to have much more disposable income, more frequent travel, more freedom in their lives, making their mid lives so much better

Is that a horrible post and having a pop at parents in your eyes?

A child free person probably has a lot more cash than me, much nicer holidays, much more freedom. I'll probably have more support in my elder years. These things are likely outcomes of our life choices. Why must we call them horrible by stating the most likely scenario?

It's said all the time on here.

Why?

This is hilarious. I'm early - mid 30's and I definitely do not want children. I'm not old and bitter and deep down I know I don't want them.

Being child free is a blessing. Don't blame the (not all) bitter mums for being jealous 😉

Well that would be a bit stupid of me, considering I was childfree for more than half of my life.

I recently had a couple of museum visits in London (at museums that would be utterly incomprehensible to people under the age of 10) ruined by screaming, screeching, shouting, running, underfoot kids and toddlers whilst their lazy-arsed parents ignored them and chatted.

The disruption and cacophony by kids who may as well been in a park, tube station or wilderness, for all they understood of their surroundings, was beyond the pale. And in just one museum we are talking 50-75 kids and probably 40 lazy parents, not an isolated example.

That is how people come to detest being around children.

It's a museum. The kids have a right to be there.

And kids take in a great deal from these sorts of things, despite all the running around. They might not understand it as an adult would, but a few things will get talked about years later.

Ridiculous. Toddlers who have no clue where they are and won’t remember it? Sorry but their lazy parents are arseholes.

Because relishing someone being lonely in their older vulnerable years is really nasty. And it's definitely not comparable to cash and holidays.

You said kids. Presumably the toddlers are the younger siblings. Even then, toddlers take in everything.

Museums are a basic way to entertain kids. Going to a museum and complaining about kids is like going hiking and complaining about walking. If you don't like it, stick to high and restaurants and plays.

I don't have kids but I do hate the capital C Childfree because they're bloody loud and annoying.

I have children. I don’t hate the childfree - I have a lot of opinions about being childfree but hate isn’t one of them

It is said “all the time”

that parents pour out an endless stream of empathy

are you prone to extreme hyperbole in RL too @TheWorminLabyrinth

But if that's all you're ever going to interpret,. despite what's written down, then....well....are you seeing a theme here?

"I like my choice to not have children, I have more freedom and more fun"

Ok, fair enough.

"I like my choice to have children, I think I'll be less lonely in elder years"

Look at you relishing how miserable child free people will be. Nasty.

I really don’t care about whether other people have DC or not to be honest between my own children, DH, job and hobbies I don’t have much time to think about what other people do or don’t do.

Saying that people should not say they hate children though is not a sign of ‘hating the child free’. Children are a vulnerable section of society and saying you hate them is akin so saying ‘I hate old people’ or ‘I hate gay people’ which no one would say but will happily say it about children who some people seem to see as an extension or possession of their parents as opposed to a person in their own right (I did see the thread on this the other day but didn’t have time to comment).

It seems to me that very rarely the odd twat will make a stupid comment about the childfree being lonely in old age (I mean @KimberleyClark refers to one post from a very long thread from September 2024 as one of her 2 examples) and from that the childfree throw around “many parents” and “quite often”

bit silly

I’ve read often enough on here from parents that becoming a parent made them a better, more caring and empathetic person.

I find the presumption that having kids means you're less likely to be lonely quite amusing. I've seen first hand that having kids doesn't necessarily mean they will be there for you in your old age. They can often forget the sacrifices that were made for them when they were kids.

And?

totally different from the pp saying that people describe the endless flowing of empathy from parents with the inference being that the childfree are sociopaths

It certainly made ME more empathetic and
More caring because I honestly have never loved anyone more than myself until I had children.

What's the issue with that? I dont think anyone is claiming that as soon as you give birth you automatically become all of those things, nor is it suggesting people without children aren't any of those things. Why can't some people describe the change on their lives children have had? Do you take personal offense when people cite any other life change as making them x, y or z?

Exactly

its all so hyperbolic and massively exaggerated

It’s also complete nonsense. I’m pretty much exactly the same person I was before I had DS, and I don’t notice any of the large numbers of people I know who’ve become parents morphing into ultra-empathetic, unselfish saints.

Think about it. The majority of people (still) have children. Are the majority of people empathetic, unselfish, caring individuals? One certainly doesn’t get that impression from reading Mn, where Other People seem to be generally experienced as noisy, selfish social irritants, bad at parking, inconsiderate next door neighbours, lazy colleagues who eat egg sandwiches at their desks, ‘flaky’ friends who ghost, forget your birthday or don’t invite you to things, mean girls forming ‘cliques’ on the school run, dreadful, narcissistic parents, etc etc.

So badly behaved toddlers and children are comparable to the Irish?

I do see some bad parenting but it tends to be the exception. I would think the issue is with you being unaccomodating if you find the behaviour of that many different children and families unacceptable.

Museums tend to be very inclusive and encourage families to visit. I take my toddler to lots of places where certain parts would be incomprehensible but he gains a lot from days out.

There's 50 odd years in between usually. If you're only relying on the first 18, don't be surprised if they do forget.

Some years ago we went to a showing of a Shakespeare film at a small independent cinema. Some people had brought their children with them and they were bored out of their brains and simply allowed to run riot. They spent the whole evening chasing each other around the cinema and up and down the central stairs. Their parents didn’t even try to control them.