Child free people being told they deserve less yet being expected to do more!

[JenniferBooth]

Has anyone on here experienced any of this?

1. Employment..........being expected to work the Christmas shifts (because the parents want the time off) even though you did it the previous year or the last few years..
2. Family Being expected to take on the care of a child even though you have chosen not to have your own because of emotionally charged comments like " i feel sorry for the child cos none of his family members want him"
3. Housing. particularly social housing, where if you dont have children you are only entitled to a small flat or a bedsit, and God forbid if you happen to live in a bigger place you are told that it is your moral duty to downsize for families.
4. Being asked at a job interview if you have children and then being asked "why? Dont you like responsibility" when you say no. Happened to me back in 2004

1. Yes I have experience of staff members thinking they should get Christmas off because they have children. So do I but I’ll do my share like everyone else and so will you!
2. No experience of this
3. Social housing should be reserved for families when there is a shortage. A single person in a three bed house with garden vs a family of four in a two bed flat makes no sense to me.
4. I’ve never been asked anything like this in an interview.

No experience of any of those. In the case of number 1, a place that said that isn't a place I'd be working for very long. And a place like number 4 wouldn't be a place I'd contemplate working. Quite apart from anything else, that's damned rude.

1&3 also happen if you have adult children no longer living at home.

Its not quite the same as spending 29 years in a tiny sweatbox of a flat

1. I’ve worked the last 7 Christmases for this reason. The mums have a chokehold on management and will just call in sick if they’re not given the time off. Drives me fucking mad.

1. I’ve been told so many times that it was a shame the house I bought didn’t go to a family. As it happens the first two sales were to a family and both fell through because the vender was a nightmare, but they had their chance. I’ve also been called selfish for buying a house that would be suitable for a family. I think many people feel that single childless people should just have the poky flats that the proper families shouldn’t have to live in.

@fitzwilliamdarcy i was hoping you would see this thread. Ive spent time nodding like a car ornament at your previous posts on other threads and i also agree with your latest one. Im in a tiny sweatbox of a flat Its hell in summer

And seven Christmases is completely unacceptable.

1. Sounds like a shit employer. Open for Christmas? Everyone takes a turn

1. Has this actually happened to you? No one should feel obliged to take on a child. Tell whoever is criticising you that they can take the child.

1. If you want state subsidised housing then you best only be taking what you need. Family or not.

1. Illegal surely??

It’ll be nice to comment and not have seven billion people immediately tell me I have a management problem and don’t understand that kids can’t be left alone blah blah blah.

I’ve been told so many times that it was a shame the house I bought didn’t go to a family

When I retire I'm planning to sell my one bed London flat, move a bit out of London and buy a bigger place with a bit of garden. Pick the bones out of that. haterzzzz!

Agree with all other than 3 with social housing.

I don’t have any issue with people living in a massive mansion with no kids if they paid for it themselves. I do think with social houses you should be in suitable sized house for your household. Hence why people when their kids move out downgrade to a smaller property when in social housing.

@Monikkas then i shant ever be doing 1

Yes to no 1. Not Christmas and not explicit but the implication of childfree = more free time.

@NoKidding i do think if you don’t have small children you probably do have more spare time, it should be up to you how you spend it though, especially at Christmas.

It shouldn’t be assumed that childless/free people have more free time. Don’t get me started on the idea that if they do have more free time, they don’t get to choose how it’s spent but have to work around someone else’s children!

When you buy your own house you can choose whichever size of property you like/can afford. Social housing is a different matter. I didn't even think single child free able bodied folk would qualify these days ( correct me if I'm wrong)

I am a parent but I have never understood the fuss about wanting Christmas off particularly. Most people aren't particularly religious so just shift it to Christmas eve?

Of course I would prefer it to have it on the 25th but I certainly wouldn't demand preferential treatment.

"I didn't even think single child free able bodied folk would qualify these days"

Exhibit A

In social housing you'd rather a family was homeless? Because you can be in a one-bed and they can't be.

And a stupid comment 19 years ago when I'm sure you're aware women with children are routinely discriminated against in employment seems a little churlish.

The Christmas one I get. I was child-free for decades and working in housing it is 24/7. I always worked Christmas. Now I have a child I don't expect anyone to work it for me. Fine to offer, not fine to expect.

So pay for your own flat? You don't need the room if there's just you

1. Yep. Not just Christmas but summer holidays, Easter and half terms. Most of the time I didn't mind but the one year I needed to take time off during the summer (family related) all hell broke loose. My boss at the time told me I couldn't have the time off as he would need to prioritise the others who had children. I resigned, and scheduled my new job to start after the holiday time I needed. I was still told I was selfish for resigning as it meant they'd no longer have someone to cover every Christmas, summer, Easter holiday and half term.

1. Have been told we are selfish for buying a 4-bedroom home when there are only two of us. We both WFH FT and use two of the bedrooms as offices (confidentiality reasons mean we can't share a room). It was on the market for 6 months so it's not like families didn't have the chance to buy it.

The other points though - fair

But it’s the implication that that spare time can be used to work. Also what @fitzwilliamdarcy said.

• Employment..........being expected to work the Christmas shifts (because the parents want the time off) even though you did it the previous year or the last few years..

Yup, tho before kids I never wanted it off and now we have a 9 year old who doesn't believe it's back to fighting for new year. Christmas Day will be Xmas eve in our house if we get the shift we want.

Honestly for us it's a commercial holiday for little kids.

• Housing. particularly social housing, where if you dont have children you are only entitled to a small flat or a bedsit, and God forbid if you happen to live in a bigger place you are told that it is your moral duty to downsize for families.

Social housing should be the minimum standard not a luxury. No problem with people buying or renting bigger houses tho.

Has anyone on here experienced any of this?

1. Employment..........being expected to work the Christmas shifts (because the parents want the time off) even though you did it the previous year or the last few years..

Out of order. YANBU

1. Family Being expected to take on the care of a child even though you have chosen not to have your own because of emotionally charged comments like " i feel sorry for the child cos none of his family members want him"

Hmm this isn’t clear cut. Adults are very quick to discount children as people in their own right. Family often expect a relationship with a child and all the ‘fun perks’ that come with that without building an actual relationship with them. Do you expect to rock up at birthdays and christmases playing the Disney Aunty? Do you want to post them on your SM for attention? Do you expect them to hug/kiss you when you see them?

If not and your boundaries have been clear from the start that’s fine and YANBU!

1. Housing. particularly social housing, where if you dont have children you are only entitled to a small flat or a bedsit, and God forbid if you happen to live in a bigger place you are told that it is your moral duty to downsize for families.

YABVU. I’m gonna go back to children being people in their own right here. Of course a family of 3/4/5 people requires a bigger home than a single person. It’s also not wrong that in a massively over stretched society where housing cannot meet demand that children and vulnerable adults are given priority ‘parents shouldn’t have them if they can’t provide! I’m being disadvantaged!’ I hear you cry, again circling back to the CHILDREN ARE PEOPLE IN THEIR OWN RIGHT and not by products or liabilities of their parents. A child can’t be on the street because a parent made an irresponsible choice. Ultimately a non vulnerable single adult can work and provide for themselves, a child cannot!

You are mad at a massively failing system and government but aiming your anger at children and parents instead.

1. Being asked at a job interview if you have children and then being asked "why? Dont you like responsibility" when you say no. Happened to me back in 2004

Totally insane, obviously. Should never have happened