Parents hate the Childfree

[Youstolemygoddamnhouse]

Over the past few days there have been several post regarding children for example Our new Neighbours and my loud children and To think it's unacceptable to say you don't like children. in both posts there are hateful comments about Childfree people. The second post in particular never mentioned anything about childfree people but then people started making comments about them. Plenty of parents hate other children despite having them. Why do parents care so much about Childfree people and their choices? Are you jealous? Need validation? Why all the hate? Most importantly will you own up to it?

YABU - I don’t hate the childfree
YANBU - yes I hate the childfree

This was verbally in person, not that it should matter. You won't believe me I guess but that's absolutely fine as I know it happened. I get comments regularly from friends, colleagues and relatives. It hardly makes being infertile easier.

People who are child free - fine.

People who are parents - fine.

Very happy for both sides.

I am child free - when I'm around children and finding it too much I just think 'well it's only for a short period' 😄. Probably much the same thought as actual parents sometimes have.

“Friends”? “Relatives”?

bloody hell

distance yourself
get new friends

I’d take 1!!

Oh FFS OP! Are childfree people a homogeneous group with a hive mind? No, of course not! So neither are parents! I'm a parent, a grandparent, and I can't stand most kids tbh. My own kids are adults now (thank fuck). My DGD is an absolute delight, but I'm so fucking happy when DSD takes her home. I can't stand my nephews, unfortunately, that's not their fault, but it's down to the parenting of my sister and BIL.

I avoid kids as much as possible. They're delightful in small doses, but the only kids I've ever been able to be around for long periods of time are my own.

Yup. Often it's unconscious and flung away comments e.g. look at this Rightmove house. You can tell they don't have a life and don't have kids. It's thoughtless but not usually malicious. It's the frequency of it that gets too much sometimes.

Two separate things surely

“tell they don’t have a life” ie maybe it is a blank canvas?

”tell they don’t have kids” maybe means it is very very tidy and no toys about

but presumably you know that your family and friends are being barbed about it, hence my suggestion to maybe get different friends

Yeah definitely not two separate things in their eyes.

So you know you don’t need to be friends with people like this don’t you?

Well that is ridiculous. My child free friends are constantly doing things I can't do because I have children, such as day long bike rides and sailing trips, impromptu date nights, holidays which aren't child friendly etc.

I often feel that they have more of a life than I do in that respect.

I imagine it is all more enjoyable for those who have chosen not to have children because they wanted the freedom to do all that stuff instead, but to say that people without children have no life is absurd.

Life is what you make it, with or without kids. Don't waste yours on people who are rude and unkind to you.

Sorry to hear of your circumstances against your choice.

I think though, that for example, the Rightmove thing, is how you're receiving it. Because it's exactly how DH and I talk to each other.

We'll see something pristine on Rightmove and it's just a joke to say "well they haven't got twins eh" as we sit amongst the trail of whatever ours have strewn across the room. It's just idle chat. It's not hidden loaded motive about having children or not. Because it naturally crosses your mind because of your particular situation, doesn't mean everyone's an arse for it not being theirs and not forethinking that they can't make a throwaway comment about a showhome looking house on a website. If someone says "pah, they haven't got a life" they're almost poking fun at themselves for being a bit messy, suggesting they wished they had the time to be more tidy. It's not a hidden dig at having/not having children. It's laughing at the state of your own house.

It's more sensible for many reasons to not have children.

Mine are older now so it's a bit different but when my children were younger I did find that the relationship with my child-free friend became strained. I think it was the terrible shock of realising a. how difficult it is having children and b. how I'd put myself in a situation of constant worry that would never end (I have GAD and autism). I was totally immersed in something that she couldn't understand and of course, people with children know this because they never understood before they had children (although admittedly my cognitive empathy wasn't great). This may be different for more relaxed people....I was an autistic single parent with two autistic DC.

Where was this quote supposedly posted? The only trace of it I can find is in your comment.

Nice detective work!

I doubt the op will be back.

Do you really want me to show you ALL the social housing threads criticising tenants for under occupying?

I think I said just 3? Let's just go with that

I saw it on another thread yesterday, not on this one.

Ok @Rumbley @HopscotchBanana

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/childfree-mumsnetters/5016834-it-would-be-ok-for-homeless-single-people

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/childfree-mumsnetters/4825473-child-free-people-being-told-they-deserve-less-yet-being-expected-to-do-more

You"re welcome!

Yes lets.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4642838-to-think-councils-should-move-people-to-smaller-properties-when-kids-move-out

ooh this one is a corker
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4784839-jeremy-vine-people-are-morally-obliged-to-downsize-and-free-up-property

more deserving occupants, ie families

So this is a thread started by you. And it's just a bunch of people saying "you've taken this out of context".

There's nothing on there. Literally nothing.

This is looking sadly identical to the "look how the parents hate us" threads, where 99% of people (just like this thread) are entirely indifferent.

Your first link ….

half a dozen posts

not ONE saying anything against children people

and first poster makes the point re the article you link to The only quote anywhere near this is: 'The kitchen is not big enough. That's just not really what a modern child should be living in. It's just for a single [person] - just me, that's fine"

right, on to your second link…

It’s hysterical isn’t it

this poster thinks her links prove her point

they demonstrate the opposite

my toes are curling for you @JenniferBooth

So this is a radio piece on Jeremy Vine, where we're given no context. Effectively, if you don't need the extra rooms, should you live in a smaller house. No idea if this is everyone, or just social housing, zero context given.

How is it a corker when the thread is saying "yeah, live where you like, if you're paying for it, it's up to you"

Couple of people say "if it's a funded council house then then the family of 3 should get the three bedroom house, not an individual person" but that's just basic common sense.

Beyond bizarre isn't it.

Somewhat the own goal.