Parents hate the Childfree

[Youstolemygoddamnhouse]

Over the past few days there have been several post regarding children for example Our new Neighbours and my loud children and To think it's unacceptable to say you don't like children. in both posts there are hateful comments about Childfree people. The second post in particular never mentioned anything about childfree people but then people started making comments about them. Plenty of parents hate other children despite having them. Why do parents care so much about Childfree people and their choices? Are you jealous? Need validation? Why all the hate? Most importantly will you own up to it?

YABU - I don’t hate the childfree
YANBU - yes I hate the childfree

I did say “not often”. I wasn’t trying to make out it was a majority. And I was replying to this.

What I always think is super weird is when people who are childfree by choice come onto a parenting forum (yes, I know that it’s ’open to everyone’, not just about parenting etc yada yada yada) and take a pop at parents for enjoying having kids.

I don’t think the above happens as often as the other way around. I haven’t seen any childfree people having a pop at parents for enjoying having kids.

And parents can be oblivious to the challenges of childless/child free lives too. Many just think it's oodles of free time, tons of holidays and tons of money. Sadly not the case for any of the people I know without children including myself. There needs to be more understanding on both 'sides'

@KimberleyClark you said “many” parents opposed the childfree board

and Quite a few parents apparently come on that board and demean and scorn you for not being parent

I couldn't have our children, medical issue, so we have no children, but our lives are not child free! Friend's children love to visit and we love to host them and it is often commented on how I am good with them ( worked in education for decades and I enjoy their company). Something that hurt me was us being excluded, by some friends, because we didn't have children and the assumption we don't like being anywhere that children are!

Many and unite a few don’t mean a majority.

No option for ‘I literally never think about nor have an opinion on the child free.’ You don’t occupy anyone’s thoughts as much as you think you do, I PROMISE.

I think you're wrong but it's tiresome reading posts from parents just wondering what the childfree are doing here and arrogantly assuming they're qualified to know their motivations and feelings.

It will never be as contentious as jam or cream first. Never. We Devonians will fight for the right to be right and put our jam on first.

So presumably you could point us in to the direction of where these “many parents” opposed the childfree board?

or maybe a quote or two where a parent has criticised you for not enjoying being a parent?

I could say that for what the poster I responded to said. I never mentioned my lifestyle or life choices.

This is a little bit back-tracky isn't it.

"Many" and "quite a few", are not the same inference as "not often".

And you Devonians would be wrong 😂

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Apologies @KimberleyClark i failed to read the full thread

I am very sorry

my mistake

No I’m not a parent. I wanted to be at one point. Never happened. Fertility issues. No longer sad about it. That’s why I posted that thread on the Mumsnetters without Children board, which is for Mumsnetters without children for any reason. It’s not actually called the childfree board. . You’ve obviously been looking for ways to trip me up though?

ETA @Rumbley apology accepted,no probs.

Could you maybe give some examples where you have been criticised and scorned for not having Children @KimberleyClark ?

just one would do

Well a lot of parents on here think you should only live in a shoe box if you dont have kids
I got told on here that i shouldnt be living in social housing if i dont have kids despite the fact i only have a one bedroom flat. And there are always threads on here in the run up to Christmas where parents are trying to hassle childfree collugues into working the Christmas shifts despite the latter having done it the year before or several years on the trot

I don’t know a single parent that envies childfree . Quite the opposite

I was once told I didn't have a life because I didn't have children.
I've also been told I'll never feel true love if I don't have a child.
I was also told I was a career driven ball buster as I didn't have a child.

Among many others. Little did they know that I can't have children. Not that it should matter what the reason is.

So can you actually post a screen shot?

because quite honestly you could say you were called anything

I would like to see one. Just one!!

Could you show examples, say, 3 parents who've told you that you should live in a shoe box if you don't have kids?

Just 3. Out of the "lots".

Unless this was in RL?

I was asking @KimberleyClark for examples of posts

Our two teens have, throughout their lives, given us more joy and laughter which far outweighs the worry and money spent on them. They fill our house and lives with humour, energy, inquisitiveness, it is a privilege to bring them up. Each of them make us belly laugh at least once a day, they make us travel and go out more and we are bonded as a family that would be very different without them.

Why would we hate someone who didn't have this?

Why would someone hate us because we do?

Hate is a strong word. Dislike might be more appropriate in this regard, but it still stands.

If we had never had children, which we didn't know when we got together, then we wouldn't miss what we never had. And parenthood isn't for everyone. We didn't have children to piss anyone else off. We chose the family that was possible for us. That's it really no big secret. We wanted a child, we wanted our child to have a sibling, that's it.

If you have hate for a whole bunch of strangers, or just an intolerance that is unreasonable, that is very much a you problem.

So no I don't hate the childless or any other large groups of named people, that's just insanity.

I think there are issues with a handful of those in the childfree community not accepting children are humans. Obviously that will get parents riled up.

Things such as those in the childfree community complain about children being on aeroplanes (not misbehaving, just simply existing in on public transport). Those living near primary schools complaining about the noise of children playing in the playground/ asking why teachers allow the children to shout and run around 🙄 or moaning about accomidations for children / families such as parent parking spaces being bigger.

I don't hate those who are childfree, I respect their choices as long as they respect my children's right to exist in public