it said what a really great friend he is and how he makes her day and the job such fun and she loves being in his team and working on this new project together.
I have a married male colleague 17 years my junior. We've both said stuff like this to each other because, tbh, it's true.
But would I email it to him, late at night? No. Or put it in any message? No.
It's a very subtle difference.
My colleague and I express these sentiments to each other in the moment, when we feel it.
Sending an email or any message late at night does several things.
It communicates "I'm thinking about you now."
At that time.of night, most people would be in bed and/or with their partners, so.it also communicates, "I'm in bed," or, "I'm thinking of you when I'm with my partner," which is far more intimate and not times when we are usually thinking of our colleagues. So it blurs the work/home boundary.
It puts herself in her colleagues mind at a time when she ought not be there.
It creates a permanent record of the feeling - people like to reread messages that make them feel good.
Put it this way, my colleague has said to me in person how much he values me, what a good friend I am and how he'd miss me if I left (it's on the cards). We still work at the same place, but not together on a daily basis as we did until this year, and he's also told me he misses working with me directly and I know he sometimes seeks me out during the day for a chat. And I'm the same.
All fine.
But I would not want to receive a late night message saying similar because it would feel inappropriate and he wouldn't send one because it would be inappropriate. And the reverse is also true.