Loud DC and unhappy neighbour. Would you move?

[YourMintReader]

I moved in 6 weeks ago. Within a week, the neighbour had complained about noise levels from 4.30am in the morning. First with a note through the door, the second time I got a phone call from Housing Association. Quickly resolved when I explained why.

Understandable, but there’s nothing I can do. This is from loud shouting and vocal stims.

She has now complained to the Housing Association that I am letting my son play out for hours on end, screaming. And has added he screams foul language. Quickly proven otherwise by me by emailing over countless documents that mention he doesn’t speak a word.

He does scream, happy and sad screams and different times. But I am absolutely not allowing him out ‘all day’

He goes to school 8am to 4pm return.

His weekend schedule is 4/4.30am - Awake. Downstairs around 5.30am latest. We might leave the house for about 9am. Possibly 2 hours of respite carers out the house for a couple of hours with them.

He would spend about 2 or 3 hours max a day in the garden. Inside no later than 6pm.

My neighbour has also got 2 children, 12 and 15. I have never heard from them but they’re older.

It’s a really small new build development and I think I and one other house are the only housing association tenants.

Would you look to move? I would be against it but cannot see a solution if it doesn’t stop. I can’t feel so worried in my own home.

Bloody awkward as there just isn’t many houses so you can’t blend in at all

Do you know what stalking is? It is illegal. It is following someone, what they do, what they say, in an effort to distress and annoy. You have no idea of the consequences of what you have done.

Take this lesson as a caution and do not repeat your threatening behaviour to anyone else, who may be more vulnerable.

Stalking is not just following physically and phoning etc. It is following them in print too, on social media sites, in an effort to make them miserable. A less strong person than me, someone more vulnerable, could do themselves harm, even breakdown completely if you threatened them as you did to me. Having it removed does nothing to help you.

People like you who take advantage of anonymity are a danger. You should not be allowed to be on this site.

You threatened me, saying that if I add a post you will counter it. I even copied your own words when you threatened to do it until I stopped posting.

You made a deliberate attempt to prevent me and others from posting.

You tried to prevent my freedom of speech, and as far as I know, I have that right. I do not know what your reasons were, but stalking it is.

If anyone is a stalker, it isn’t me. You are the one responding to me after 2 days. You are also the one who’s had comments deleted, not me.

Responding to someone isn’t stalking them. Give it a rest.

it is the way you are doing it.

Clearly mumsnet doesn’t agree. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have to post this in an effort to stop what is obviously becoming a game to some posters, not just on this thread, but on others.

I think we should be able to express our thoughts and offer help to OPs who post in an effort to get help.

We are supposed to be polite to one another, and I would agree with that. Having said that, how would you respond to a poster who is dogging you, so that each time you post, no matter what you say, this person disagrees and makes attempts to wreck any attempt you make to post?

For that person to take advantage of anonymity to dog posters in this way is grossly unfair and is tantamount to stalking. Stalking is not only the crime of following behind someone, phoning them, writing nasty letters to them, it is also stalking to tell a poster that whenever they post, whatever they say, they will respond to it, and since all the responses have been opposing no matter what, it is no different.

Is it right that any poster - or group of posters, because on some threads they have banded together can stalk some posters, opposing even legal comments, in an effort to stop someone posting on a thread?

Is there any other purpose than to counter your posts with another by the same person, and say they will continue to do it until you stop posting, in the spirit of social media?

With respect, this is a public forum. It's natural for people to respond to others.

You're obviously very upset, @llizzie, but I'd hazard a guess that your overreaction here is because of real life events. I'm sorry for whatever has happened to you, but your reaction here is over the top.

Yep. I’m very confused.

I'm not upset. Why would I be? Of course it is a forum for discussion. You seem to think that I am responding to her all the time, but actually that is not true. She has attempted to negate everything I post to others and I question her motive.

Why would she attempt to prevent me from posting? I have tried to suggest to the OP various ways to resolve her situation. That is important, because unless it is resolved, she may end up being on the receiving end of the NDN, especially as posters on this thread have voted in favour of the NDN. When I have supported her, I get rubbished by this person. I believe she is more in favour of the NDN and it is possible that she has chosen this way to block any supporter of the OP.

I hope I am wrong. If I am not, it will not help the OP.

Can you think of any other reason why a poster would continually denounce another, no matter to whom it is addressed, except in an effort to prevent me posting again.

It is a game to people, and a very dangerous game. I have been long time disabled. I know what a NDN can do. Do you?

If a dogging poster makes umpteen attempts to stop me posting, then I question her motives, and so should you.

It is not a case of my emotions.

You've made some interesting posts on the topic in hand earlier in the thread.

Honestly, I don't think that anyone is denouncing you - they're just responding.

ETA I'm disengaging now.

Why would I be in favour of NDN when my own child is disabled and I know exactly what it’s like to be a parent of a disabled child?

I’ve also consistently said I actually have little sympathy for NDN due to her lying about OP’s son swearing when he’s non verbal.

It makes no sense at all.

I have some concern about the mental health of the OP, because it seems to me that there are more people taking the NDN side and berating the OP. The vote indicates that.

What is happening is that some posters who support the neighbour have begun posts designed to stop those posters who are trying to help the OP. Perhaps I am wrong. It is happening on other threads, too.

It seems that some posters enjoy influencing the comments of others.

Then why argue the toss if you agree with me?

I've already explained why, just as I had already said to you on previous comments that I support OP and have a disabled child myself.

FWIW, @Kirbert2 and I were in agreement on many points during the discussion, and on many occasions were both disagreeing with those who supported the NDN’s attitude or believed that OP should move etc.

I don’t believe she is on the NDN “side,” I think she queried a few things in your earlier comments (child being poorly, school interventions, behaviour etc) because those points needed clarification.

But if it’s helpful, she’s not against OP and as a fellow SENd parent had (as far as I believe) actually been posting in support of OP.

Thanks.

Do you have a facebook account? There are groups that might give you a bit more help than you are getting on here.

Also, there are carers groups on facebook who may have better solutions than you have received here.

You need to have people who understand your problem and who do not keep harping on about NDNs and their problems.