Our new Neighbours and my loud children

[Marley11]

Hi
I wasn’t sure where to start this thread as it covers two areas but il try here first.

We have recently moved into our dream family home ‘ which is a huge project. We chose it due to the size of the garden for our children , and the large summer house at the bottom.

We have two young boys. Who are lovely, kind boys, but v loud characters. ( 2 & 6 ) one has asd & add. The other just has the loudest & deepest voice 😂. trust me I try to tell them to speak quieter I think it’s impossible . ( They are both in bed by 7 ish pm and both asleep till 7 )

They are just being kids in my opinion . And obviously the odd 3 daily meltdowns from my two year old as I buttered his toast wrong.

But Today she put her radio on at 4.30 am. Blaring through our 2 years old wall. woke us all. The reason in her words “ Was to show me how thin those walls are, As my kids scream and shout in the garden so much making us terrible neighbors “

she has never had children and isn’t keen on them .

my issue is , little does she know I am in the process of setting up as a childminder. But I am now doubting if this is the right choice ….. because of our neighbour !

my question is , would you pre - warn her ? Is there anything she could do to deter me / stop me in setting this business up ? Or would you just set up and not mention it or is this unreasonable to do ? Do I Have to tell her ?

Thank you

I agree - spend this evening having a disco with your kids in the living room.

Well they’re by definition less likely to have exposure, I’m sure you can agree. And I know that you know how children (most of the dozens of children amongst the families we know well) behave v differently in school and and at home…not universal of course…

I live next door to someone like you OP and it is awful

From 5am to 9pm they kick the walls, stomp on the floor, throw things against the wall, scream all day.

She then says that we are complaining about her children playing.

I really do feel like you're fine then! 4pm and having fun. It's not like kids that just scream and scream for the sake of screaming.

When does OP say her kids are like this? She said they play and sleep 7-7.

let me get this right....you have got two children who you can't teach to tone it down and you are setting up as a childminder???

@Marley11 come on people! kids will always be noisy! the neighbour sounds like she is used to having 80 year olds who sit and sleep all day in a chair for neighbours. does she really expect a house with 2/3 bedrooms to purchased by an elderly person? I personally like to hear kids enjoying themselves, especially in the garden in the summer. better that being glued to playstations etc!

And that’s why I said according to the guidelines of whatever music restrictions are in place… where they live, some areas might differ. Read the post in future.

Yeah so does the one next door.

Always two sides to every story

Because any time anyone parks an inch over her driveway, or on the pavement, or makes it even slightly difficult for other cars to get past, or causes her the slightest inconvenience, she’s going to be logging, photographing it and reporting it repeatedly.

You may have great neighbours so you underestimate what harm an aggrieved neighbour can do to a home based business.

Ok. I’m not an especially nice or patient person so appreciate this might not be palatable. I’d go over knock on the door and tell her children are part of life, they make noise from time to time and she’s going to have to get used to it. And if she wants to be a petty cow you’ll show her her arse.

She’s a bully. She’s not used to being stood up to. Put her in her place.

Stupid arsehole.

Check the exact hours that are acceptable for noise. Outside of this time keep it quiet. It sounds like the walls are thin so find out about insulation

I said whatever the restrictions times are where you live. Some areas differ. Here, it’s 6am to 11pm. So yes, between them times she can play loud music all she wants. Outside of that is unreasonable. I would honestly think carefully how you proceed with this. These situations can escalate quickly. With a new house and new business it seems you have more to lose than her if things did get bad. Plus records of noise complaints both sides will show up when selling houses.

I was on your side until you said screaming. Kids on my street scream and their parents don’t say anything to them, even though they’re out there with them. It makes me feel murderous. I can’t lie. It’s a horrible sound. Teach your kids that loud play is reasonable but screaming is unfair on your neighbours.

"normal noise" when bringing kids seems to mean very different things for different parents.

Excessive noise is not acceptable, full stop.

The reason so many public parks exist in neighbourhoods where houses are terraced or otherwise close together is that planners realized that people living in close quarters didn't need loud playing and sport right near their windows. Parks are a place for children and others to let off steam AWAY from the living quarters of other people.

The size of your garden is absolutely irrelevant if it's near someone else's doors and windows.

Children should never be "heard" shrieking and screaming or doing "free loud happy."

I think that ship has already sailed lol

Did you wait until she made noise at 4.30am to notice or realise your children were being excessively loud? What are you doing about it?

"children will be children" is not an answer. Children will behave the way their parents raise them.

yup, more to the point, excessive noise at any time of day is a nuisance whatever the cause. Yes children are expected to make a certain amount of noise but every day or most days for long periods and constant screaming can be a noise nuisance and treated as such...especially if its noise created by a business in a private home.

Im in the same position. Rough looking family, who I imagine wouldn’t take too kindly to me saying something all stand out on the street and 4/5 kids run up and down screeching and screaming. I work from home. They literally ruined the house for us and we’re going to have to move as soon as we can

No three melt downs a day from a two year old isn’t good. It’s excessive and yes I have children and no they didn’t have meltdowns or tantrums.

Your neighbour might have additional needs you considered that? Having a child with that you can surely have some empathy?

@Theboymolefoxandhorse @rainbowsandraspberrygin rthank you for these responses. It’s made me feel a lot better about the whole situation.

I have thought today it isn’t worth setting up. But yes you are right I do think if it wasn’t that it would be something else she will eventually find to moan about.

yea I will look into sound proofing and try to make amends with her despite my feelings of her waking us all at 4.30 am.

I don’t think she would understand asd although I think it’s his adhd that makes him as bouncy as he is . I kind of didn’t want to explain to her too much about my children and their needs, other than apologise and say I will try my best to get them to stop shouting so much .

I work really hard to keep my children grounded and not out of control. But if I’m cooking etc and they are playing in the garden I can’t at all times stop them shouting . But yeah thanks iv taken all this on board for a way to move forward thank you

I find it intersting that the OP actually put the word "noisy" in her post title

I wouldn't video the kids in their back garden but anything out front, including the comings and goings of the childminding clients, is OK. If the parents, autos, kids, etc. are making noise out there or otherwise encroaching on my quiet enjoyment of my home, you can bet I am going to record it to build my case for the council.