Our new Neighbours and my loud children

[Marley11]

Hi
I wasn’t sure where to start this thread as it covers two areas but il try here first.

We have recently moved into our dream family home ‘ which is a huge project. We chose it due to the size of the garden for our children , and the large summer house at the bottom.

We have two young boys. Who are lovely, kind boys, but v loud characters. ( 2 & 6 ) one has asd & add. The other just has the loudest & deepest voice 😂. trust me I try to tell them to speak quieter I think it’s impossible . ( They are both in bed by 7 ish pm and both asleep till 7 )

They are just being kids in my opinion . And obviously the odd 3 daily meltdowns from my two year old as I buttered his toast wrong.

But Today she put her radio on at 4.30 am. Blaring through our 2 years old wall. woke us all. The reason in her words “ Was to show me how thin those walls are, As my kids scream and shout in the garden so much making us terrible neighbors “

she has never had children and isn’t keen on them .

my issue is , little does she know I am in the process of setting up as a childminder. But I am now doubting if this is the right choice ….. because of our neighbour !

my question is , would you pre - warn her ? Is there anything she could do to deter me / stop me in setting this business up ? Or would you just set up and not mention it or is this unreasonable to do ? Do I Have to tell her ?

Thank you

I like hearing children play, I had 3 of my own plus countless friends but none of them felt the need to scream all day and if they had they would have been brought in. That's the difference having consideration for others.

Not RTFT but have all your responses @Marley11 although first couple of pages seem like classic MN pile on.
Neighbour sounds ridiculous - how most people respond if the noise was so unbearable is a knock on the door and a “can you please keep it down” or a letter under the door - not waking you up at 4am to give you a “taste of your own medicine”

I completely agree that everyone should have a right to enjoy their garden and you’ve said multiple times you do try and minimise noise but yes you cannot stop kids shouting and/ or screaming all the time. You’ve said your children are in nursery and school and in bed by 7 something Monday to Friday unless their having their dinner and bath in the garden too I presume they’re out there for a maximum of a couple of hours day and then Ofc the weekends / holidays on top. So there is a fair amount of time your kids aren’t even in the garden! Agree with PP who suggested bringing them inside if they do start shouting but if it’s a semi detached then neighbour will probably hear them inside anyway too.

despite neighbours behaviour, I still think once everything is approved you should let her know of your plans - she has shown she can be quite volatile and you don’t want to set her off when you have other people’s kids at yours. You could always take the kids to the park whilst childminding too for some variation.

Your neighbour is more the problem than your children, as you know from personal experience and her history with previous owners. Children are noisy at times, especially when excited or unhappy, as they grow this eases. Carefully plan your childminding activities so that you minimise outdoor noises and utilise nearby parks for rowdy play. I was surprised at the tone of many of the responses you received.

Wow I think people are being harsh to you OP, it’s not the 1900s children can be heard as well as seen. Your kids should be able to play, laugh and have fun in their own garden, jeeez.

Your neighbour sounds a right bitch, spitefully trying to wake a family up at 430am is deranged, set your business up with glee, advertise lots of outdoor activities in your lovely safe garden, a mini forest school if you like, parents love that kinda shit round here!

Also if you’ve not had a kid have an episode because you’ve not distributed the correct amount of butter on their toast you’ve not lived 😂 and I say that as the mum of a ‘perfect’ girl child in mumsnet world never mind two boys 😂😂

OP never said her kids “screaming in the garden all day”, it’s just your assumption.

Why the need for loads of space? I personally can only have 3 children. Drop off takes one minute, they’re. It going to be parked there all day, and unlikely they will all be dropped at the same exact time…

Yes.. especially with the 'cor bless the wee tykes... what they like....🤪'
I
She gave a good example to show how she noise travels... how would she know to complain about the noise if she couldn't hear it?

I love hearing children play, but I hate that screaming that some kids do. It’s absolutely unnecessary and should be stopped.
Laughter and raised, excited voices are lovely, but shrill screaming makes me feel murderous.

Also wouldn’t put it past your neighbour to blast music at children’s nap times once your set up. Maybe even music with profanities at drop off / pick up. Because that’s the type of neighbour you have.

I do have kids, and I think it's lazy parenting to let your kids scream and be a nuisance for the neighbours.

NOT being childfree means we know that it's perfectly possible to keep children quiet. It takes work of course, but that's being a parent.

Saying if she loathes kids that much she should be in a detached house rather than a semi is ridiculous. It’s like saying to anyone that lives in a highly populated city full of noise that if they don’t like noise then move to the countryside where it’s quiet. It’s not that simple is it? People have mortgages, jobs, family, friends and a have built a life in that area. Plus do you know how much detached houses cost these days? A lot, I’ll tell you that. Op doesn’t say if she has a partner, so saying just to move is pointless.

Everyone should be able to enjoy their home both Op and neighbour without unnecessary noise. But parents need to understand no one, absolutely no one like screaming kids. It’s not fun. It’s not cute. Parent your kids to be considerate towards others because they’re going to get a massive shock in later on life if not.

Agree. I went round to my next door but one neighbour because their dd was literally screaming ALL day, mostly due to her older sister imposing stupid impossible to follow rules for games. The parents completely ignored them both. Kids playing, great, but screaming = go inside and calm it down a notch.

Setting up as a childminder is going to drive your neighbour wild! Putting her radio on at 4.30 is extremely petty. Could she not just have spoken to you?

If the house is a project then can you apply good soundproofing to the party wall, that would help, at least inside the house

This

We had new neighbours about 2 years ago...house diagonally opposite but in a different road (if you see what I mean). They are outside a lot Christmas day at 8 am, Easter egg hunt, bonfire night, laughing, kicking a football, the occasional excited shout...behind there's a grandparent who has kids visit on a Saturday and all they do is scream.

I love the sound of the kids opposite, even when they play outside from dawn to dusk. I'm very tempted to complain if the grandkids stay over the summer holidays.

Reliably mad mumsnet response on this thread 🤣 People convinced that OP's children are literally screaming all day in the garden, excusing a woman maliciously waking a toddler at 4.30am... Sorry your neighbour is such a bitch @Marley11 You're in the right.

Exactly this. If Op is staring a new business and having just bought her new dream house it seems she’s has hell of a lot more to lose if things go south which I suspect they probably will. Repair the relationship, teach the kids not to scream and get soundproofing.

there were young children all around us when mine were young, you could hear them occasionally but we all made sure not out too early late or noisy. I love the sound of kids playing and laughing! However, one house had 3 little girls that screamed constantly, out trampolining at the crack of of dawn. It did get on my nerves, particularly as I often thought they were hurt it was that bad but didnt say anything, while I felt they could have been more considerate family noise is inevitable! I say enjoy your garden but try to kept it down a bit. she sounds horrible with the 4.30am music so she is not going to like a child minder next door if she doesnt like 2 kids in the garden!

posters are basing their comments on the OP herself. If a parent describes their children as "loud" followed by the usual "They are just being kids in my opinion*, it means they ARE loud.

I think the neighbour is funny, demonstrating how much the noise carries.

I think OP mentioned it as background - to evidence that the neighbour hasn’t experienced bringing up kids and the normal noise this entails!!

We have noisy children in our road. I don’t mind kids playing but I can’t stand screaming and shouting. My kids are now adults, both have autism and I never allowed them to be that noisy, if they had screamed I would have made them come indoors. Laughing and playing is fine, shouting and screaming is not fine. Teach your kids to respect people around them.

if you think it’s funny to wake a 2 year old up at 4.30 am , and a child with additional needs who needs as much sleep as possible for a good day. Then you are as crazy as her .

my noise our noise is not malicious. @YearlySubscriptionRenewal

@Someone2025 yes , I think I need to get onto finding out the cost of this.

I think her main problem is when they shout in the garden . But anything will help . Us both .

And when you’ve worked what it is, share it with the world 😂

But what are you doing about it? At the moment it sounds like nothing but 'meh, kids gonna kid, how DARE you have any reaction but 'yay!, bless! Of course your dc doing what they want is the only thing that matters..'

OP it’s such a shame that this may impact your business. You’ve brought a family home to bring up your family and support others too. I think you should carry on. You’ve a right to do this as long as you’re respectful- which it sounds like you are. Maybe some soundproofing on some adjoining walls and informing her of this as a way to try to build some rapport? To show you are doing your best.

it may be that she doesn’t understand ASD or additional needs and how this means your child may learn differently or needs to let off steam after masking all day. Gardens are for enjoying and having fun. I agree that screaming all day is not ok but the odd excited scream or laughter/silliness is what kids do! I’ve heard adults make a lot worse noise in my opinion.

my worry would be you’d stop your dream of child minding but she’d continue to complain anyway! Then she may move….and you’d have no business.

playing the radio at 4.30 is awful - how mean!!! Your kids excitement and fun is spontaneous. The radio is planned!

please record and report any malicious noise disturbance. That was deliberate.