DH won't let daughter go on school trip to mosque

[RealUmberAnt]

I'm shocked and appalled!! He (M41)says he doesn't want her (DD12) learning about people who marry there daughters off at 9 years old and all their women are oppressed and forced to cover up and do as their told!

I feel like he's taring all Muslims with the same brush and it's good to learn about other religions and see other places of worship!

I'm so mad!! I honestly don't think I can stay with someone who has these opinions!!

What is it you're so appalled by?

I work with you Muslim women. They don't consider themselves oppressed but they absolutely do believe that to be good Muslims they need to cover up and do exactly what their father, brothers and husbands tell them. I don't know if that's general.teaxhing of theory men have done a number on them, but I meet a lot who share this belief and have no agency of their own. They are oppressed.

Yes you visit all places of worship in year 9

I would recommend she reads the articles in this blog by an ex-Muslim woman from an Islamic country.

https://harampolitics.substack.com/p/islam-the-incels-paradise-on-earth

She highlights the inherent misogyny of the religion and why it's so toxic for women.

I don't understand how you have been together for 20 years and not encountered his views before.

I swear people haven’t read the bible. There’s all sorts in there. The Old Testament is eye-watering.

I think all organised religion is bobbins but I still want DD to know about them all and respect the PEOPLE (not the religion) as long as they are being respectful. Lots of religion, from Islam, through Buddhism, to Christianity has been used to control women and abuse children. Anything that gives men supreme power is a bad idea. But at 12 she can do some critical thinking.

Did you come onto MN especially to post about this OP, or did you just feel the need for a name change for this thread?

It's funny but I seem to be developing an uncanny sixth sense for knowing when a particular thread is going to be the only one under that user name.

And just to be clear, inner London comprehensive schools with very diverse communities, not some posh school with very few Muslim children

no Muslims opted out

Gosh. What are the chances of that?

I’ve two in secondary school and neither have been taken at any point to any places of worship so I’ve no idea where those adamant that all secondary schoolers would be visiting churches and such.

Your dh’s attitude is bad though.

He isn't correct about Islam.

I pity you for being so ignorant.

I have changed username for this. I have posted previously a few years ago but mainly just read others posts. I just feel alone and wanted to rant, seemed like a good place to do that.

Great! Church, Synagogue, Mosque, temple(s) etc.
Should put them off religion for life.

Tell him about Christian sects where old men marry multiple young, teenage brides.

I was once curious to see what they are like, one near me had an open day. But they wanted gender segregation. I walked away.

Most people would be deeply ashamed of having such a racist partner. I presume that the OP name changed.

Your 'D'H should watch the current series of UK Taskmaster. Fatiha El-Ghorri doesn't strike me as someone who has ever done anything she's been told, ever, yet dresses traditionally. It's quite clearly by choice.

Also, just to be clear, your husband is a racist twat.

A mosque that is willing to open it's doors to a school tour is a great asset. I really hope your daughter ends up going.

Your DH is right to be concerned with any culture or religion where practices are oppressive for woman.

However as you said not every Muslim does the same and actually it’s beneficial to learn about Islam and then to have further education into some belief and oppression and help people make informed choices in adulthood to protect themselves .

Its lack of education that leads to oppression - it’s why there’s fights to get woman educated in some parts do the world.

He is advocating oppressing your child’s education - that doesn’t protect her - it leaves her vulnerable.

Islam isn't a race...he is being islamaphobic

Perhaps he has been radicalised?

That’s terrible. I used to work next to a large mosque and they were fabulous people and the most wonderful neighbours. They were forever welcoming people in for tours. What a shitty attitude he has.

And yet here he is laying down the law to a woman and a girl, telling her what she can do and seemingly thinking he gets to overrule you. Maybe start by explaining irony to him.

I work in a Catholic school. We have a significant minority of Muslim students. I have never known a Muslim student be withdrawn from going to church (which we do about 9-10 times per year) or collective worship (which happens every day). Some even do readings or bidding prayers and receive a blessing. Others aren’t comfortable with that level of active participation but still attend respectfully and sit/stand at the right time etc. We’ve also never had an issue with Muslim students going on synagogue visits. Don’t know how representative that will be of secular schools but round here lots of Muslim families choose Christian faith schools over non-denominational ones.

I went about 12 years ago on a primary school trip. Really interesting. I also remember the Muslim mums (a fantastic bunch) being pretty scary… the young imam took them very seriously. My kids found it very interesting.

Your DH is a prat.