I sort of know IABU, but would this bother you? Neighbours always in the garden.

[Newhomeandgarden]

DP and I bought and moved into our new house about 3 months ago. The garden was a big feature for us. The problem is that our next door neighbours clearly think so too - they’re always out in theirs and I mean always. The husband works from a home office at the bottom of the garden, the wife often brings her laptop out and works at the garden table, or else doing yoga on the grass or just sits there reading with a drink. It just makes me feel like they’re always just right there, lurking, and I feel really self-conscious when I sit in our garden and especially if DP and I have a conversation out there that they’re listening in on it. DP doesn’t want to rock the boat because they aren’t noisy or antisocial as such and we moved to get away from nightmare neighbours, but I’m just devastated that it looks like we’re going to end up in the same situation in what was meant to be our fresh start.

I know I can’t exactly ask them not to use their garden, but it just feels so unfair that I can’t relax in my own home because it’s like living next to a public park!

and I feel really self-conscious when I sit in our garden and especially if DP and I have a conversation out there that they’re listening in

Do you have a loud voice and no fence/hedge?

I can't hear my neighbour talking if they are just having a conversation, and we don't have large gardens. What we do have is fences.

we moved to get away from nightmare neighbours, but I’m just devastated that it looks like we’re going to end up in the same situation in what was meant to be our fresh start

You’re ’devastated’ to discover you have ‘nightmare neighbours’ who (checks notes) like to sit out quietly in their own garden? Seriously?

Oh my god neighbours who use their own garden in a quiet, unobtrusive way are completely different to noisy antisocial neighbours! This is definitely more of a you problem - could you make the fence a bit higher or put up some screening but for gods sake don’t ask them not to use their own garden cos you don’t like it, then you’d be the difficult to live next to neighbours and make them feel uncomfortable in their own garden!

Mine used to smoke, drink and swear in theirs every half dry day. That kept me out of the garden. Yours sound nice.

Just so I can be clear…you moved to a house and were attracted to the garden but are now complaining that “nightmare” neighbours also use, wait for it, their garden? Not only that, they’re using it for, shock horror, yoga and having conversations?

I can only suggest immediately calling the police, MI5 and (if you can find them) The A-Team?

I think this is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read on MN.

If you live in a house with a row of gardens, you are going to be very close to your neighbors when they are outside. Most people will just ignore each other and quietly carry on.

If you want splendid isolation, you should have moved somewhere rural where your garden leads only to rolling hills and empty fields.

YABU. Of course they can use their garden as much as they wish, as can you. If it bothers you that much, get a trellis and grow some plants, or a higher fence. What do you honestly think you could even say to them? Sorry can you use your garden less???! Ridiculous.

OP, respectfully, if my neighbours came round and asked me to not use my own garden because it means they can’t relax in theirs, I’d tell them to go to hell.
They’re not being disruptive. They’re not holding raves. They are going about their life, quietly, on land they own.

Are you sure it was your neighbours that were the problem last time? Because you sound like you want others to pander to what you want.

Final note, I do hear my neighbours chatting or whatever, but couldn’t tell you what they’re talking about as I have my own life to worry about. I suspect it’s much the same for your neighbours.

If you can see that your neighbour is doing yoga then you don’t have good enough fences so no wonder you feel a bit exposed.

Fences, plants, garden features that create a bit more privacy will make a difference.

Erect some kind of gazebo thing so you can enjoy your garden but be away from anyone else’s eyeline. You are being unreasonable of course, but I can also understand you want your garden to not be so exposed. I am very introverted when it comes to things like that but I know that’s a me problem.

Cyprus fast growing trees clipped into a hedge

Ah that’s a very interesting question?!

You need to try and set up some screening between you whether plants, fence etc.

I cannot fathom what you would actually ask of your neighbours. I mean what are you thinking? A rota? You would be absolutely batshit to even broach the subject with them.

I feel really self-conscious when I sit in our garden and especially if DP and I have a conversation out there that they’re listening in on it.

WTAF? I refer you to @Butchyrestingface's post at 18:26.

I think that you are the nightmare neighbours.

My neighbours are always in their garden just sitting, chatting etc. I couldn’t care less! It’s been nice weather and it’s nice that people are able to get outside. We spend a lot of time in our garden too. We have high fences and I don’t find it intrusive whatsoever! What you describe is very quiet neighbours quietly enjoying their garden.

Are you actually joking 😂😂 how dare your neighbours use their garden. Piss off

This is one of the most batshit posts I have ever read on MN.

Omg, it’s their garden and they are totally entitled to spend as much time in it as they like. They are not “lurking”, they are living their lives. It’s you with the weird problem. You should have bought a house in the middle of a field if you can’t cope with neighbours being out in their own garden.
whatever you do, don’t say anything to them, you’ll get a reputation in the street as being very odd!

...we moved to get away from nightmare neighbours, but I’m just devastated that it looks like we’re going to end up in the same situation in what was meant to be our fresh start.

I'm now intrigued to know what made the last lot 'nightmare neighbours'. Did they, like, cultivate a purple wisteria that clashed with your yellow clematis, the bastards?

I see you're getting a pasting . . . Yes, YABU but I understand how intrusive it can be to have people a few metres away all the time when you want to relax. I've got neighbours who spend all summer sunbathing and they're retired so they're out there all the time. As some others have said, a higher fence and a hedge is what you need. My garden fence is 2m tall and although I can hear my neighbours, I can't see them and if I'm quiet they probably don't realise I'm out.

So you want to be in your garden but have a problem with them doing the same thing?! YABU

Something tells me @Newhomeandgarden won't be back 😂

OP, if this isn't a wind up thread.....

Would you explain what the situation with your previous neighbours was which makes you think your current situation may go the same way ?

Cynical old me not holding my breath.

But she won’t be in the garden either