I sort of know IABU, but would this bother you? Neighbours always in the garden.

[Newhomeandgarden]

DP and I bought and moved into our new house about 3 months ago. The garden was a big feature for us. The problem is that our next door neighbours clearly think so too - they’re always out in theirs and I mean always. The husband works from a home office at the bottom of the garden, the wife often brings her laptop out and works at the garden table, or else doing yoga on the grass or just sits there reading with a drink. It just makes me feel like they’re always just right there, lurking, and I feel really self-conscious when I sit in our garden and especially if DP and I have a conversation out there that they’re listening in on it. DP doesn’t want to rock the boat because they aren’t noisy or antisocial as such and we moved to get away from nightmare neighbours, but I’m just devastated that it looks like we’re going to end up in the same situation in what was meant to be our fresh start.

I know I can’t exactly ask them not to use their garden, but it just feels so unfair that I can’t relax in my own home because it’s like living next to a public park!

If you just get on with your life in your own garden you’ll find after a while you don’t notice the neighbours getting on with their lives in their garden. Each of you has the right to the peaceful enjoyment of your own homes and gardens, and it sounds as though your neighbours are quietly occupied in theirs and minding their own business.

I really hope they have a BBQ and a party this weekend.

It's their garden they can use it anytime they want,.just as you can. The only way you can guarantee complete privacy is to live miles away from other houses.
They won't be listening to your conversation they are busy doing their own things
Get a high fence/and or plant a hedge if you feel.overlooked and just enjoy your garden.

Op I hear you.

And we have 5 million new homes built to standards no one can live with in the pipeline.

Gardens are too small. You really have no separation .Taller fences mean no sun, shorter fences mean you are aware of everything next door.

You are both entitled to use your gardens. It's just not very relaxing for either party.

It isn’t ’intrusive’ for people to USE THEIR OWN FUCKING GARDEN FOR THE PURPOSE FOR WHICH IT’S INTENDED FFS

Jesus H tapdancing Christ

I think you might be the problem neighbours……

"DP doesn’t want to rock the boat because they aren’t noisy or antisocial as such"

what on earth? Are you implying that you do think you should speak to them? About what? Using their own garden? Haha! 😂

@Fargo79 nailed it on the first page - if you don’t like having neighbours you need to move somewhere rural. I did and it’s wonderful! Your new neighbours sound like my old neighbours (did you buy our old house?!) and their constant presence set me on edge but I know that’s a me problem. I need an “unusual level of privacy” apparently (actually more comes down to my perfectionist/control freak nature, I can’t relax if I can’t control my surroundings - I’m working on it!)

These sound like dream neighbours. I live in a dreaded mid terrace and we have a bloke on the end who saws wood all day in his workshop (though I am used to that now), then next door are renovating so there is banging and drilling and doors slamming all day, other side of me I never hear thank god but he doesn’t use his garden, then there is a family that spend half the day shouting over each other or at their kid. Then next to them is a family where she’s in the garden 24/7. Being mid terrace these are all basically next to me. I’d love it if my only neighbour just sat reading a book!!!!

This is possibly the most unreasonable thing I've read on AIBU!

Are you always so unnecessarily rude and aggressive?

I think everyone here is in agreement the OP is being a bit unreasonable but that doesn’t mean you can’t understand someone else feeling a different way to you.

Oh the horror! Your neighbours love their garden as much as you love yours!
🙄

Get and set up a water feature their side of your garden. They won't hear you at all over the sound of it.

what did you expect the neighbours to use their garden office FOR? (possibly to stay @ their home & work? any time they need?), surely you could see it BEFORE you purchased?

How is someone doing yoga in their own garden a “nightmare neighbour”?

And they were there first 😬

Out of all the posts I've read this has to be the one that screams YABU!!, but I guess you know that now!

Come back when they've spawned two kids and they're bouncing up and down on a fucking trampoline looking straight in your living room window like the cunts next door to me . Fucking arseholes. Be thankful they are only doing yoga and chatting if you don't want your neighbours hearing your convos go inside 🤷 for anything really private, for the rest I'm sure they couldn't give a toss.

Your neighbors are just using their garden; they aren't causing any harm. Instead of feeling self-conscious, maybe focus on enjoying your own space. Try to relax and not worry about what they're doing. If you're concerned about privacy, consider adding some garden screens or plants.

We bought in a road that has gone up in price so much, we are only surrounded by (lovely) retired neighbours. No young families have moved into our road since we did many years ago. Most of our neighbours are out in the garden every day the weather is nice (on both sides of us and opposite often in the front garden). I always say to my Husband all we do is rush about whilst all of our neighbours have a slow pace of life.

We do have a very good size garden but you can still hear some noises either side (conversations etc). I would never let it bother me though as everyone is entitled to use their garden and i’d rather see people enjoying the sun than sat indoors. We’ve got tall fences up, hedges and i’ve always had the attitude that the kids are entitled to play as long as they are not making horrendous noise, so im not going to ever stop my kids from enjoying the garden.

I do appreciate people have to put up with neighbours from hell, so i’ll happily take having all our lovely, respectful neighbours out in there gardens. You would have to buy a house in the middle of nowhere to not hear others enjoying their own gardens.

Seriously op..you moaning that your neighbours use their garden... Yabu.

Tbh previous neighbours never used their garden but complained about everything. Current neighbours have 3 dogs a swimming pool loads of visitors and a cat! I'll have the current incredibly considerate ones and however much noise over the other ones. Bonus is the cat takes refuge in our garden and we are falling in love with him.

Haven’t RTFT but I agree with first few posters, the answer seems quite simple. Get high fences/hedges/trees whatever. Of course you are not necessarily BU to feel whatever about the neighbours and wish they would stay in more, but you obviously can’t reasonably ask them to spend less time in their garden 😂 that would be extremely unreasonable and entitled.

Were you and your dh actually the nightmare neighbours?

Dear MN

We've lived in our current house for a number of years and been very happy. The house is ideal and the garden is beautiful. Unfortunately, a pair of complete and utter bastards moved in next door recently and now we can't read, do yoga, or use our garden office, because they are always in their garden earwigging and looking down their judgemental noses at our begonias. Would IBU if I got a trebuchet full of manure and chucked it at them every time they used their garden? What does MN think?