I sort of know IABU, but would this bother you? Neighbours always in the garden.

[Newhomeandgarden]

DP and I bought and moved into our new house about 3 months ago. The garden was a big feature for us. The problem is that our next door neighbours clearly think so too - they’re always out in theirs and I mean always. The husband works from a home office at the bottom of the garden, the wife often brings her laptop out and works at the garden table, or else doing yoga on the grass or just sits there reading with a drink. It just makes me feel like they’re always just right there, lurking, and I feel really self-conscious when I sit in our garden and especially if DP and I have a conversation out there that they’re listening in on it. DP doesn’t want to rock the boat because they aren’t noisy or antisocial as such and we moved to get away from nightmare neighbours, but I’m just devastated that it looks like we’re going to end up in the same situation in what was meant to be our fresh start.

I know I can’t exactly ask them not to use their garden, but it just feels so unfair that I can’t relax in my own home because it’s like living next to a public park!

This is utter madness. They want to use their garden. You want to use your garden but would prefer it if they didn't use theirs.

Just go into your garden and be grateful that you have a garden.

If you want more privacy erect a higher fence.

If that's not sufficient start looking for a rural property with absolutely no neighbours.

I have one of these (much beloved by a myriad of birds) but it’s not near the seats so possibly of little use to muffle conversations. Possibly an annoyance to neighbours but it’s been there 20 years.

I want to be these people who work and do yoga in their lovely garden but I’m you! I like complete privacy or I can’t relax. Luckily the neighbours seem to feel the same as they’ve erected a very high fence recently and I feel so much better going out there.

YABU to even think of saying they can’t enjoy their garden any time they choose though. You can’t do that.

I would love to know what "rocking the boat" looks like as well.

Can you imagine OP going round to the neighbour and saying

"We've noticed that you are always out in your garden and I find it intrusive that you are in your garden when I want to be in my garden. Could you not use your garden so much and stay inside please?"

I would love to hear the response to that one.

Why can you see them? I can’t see in any of my neighbours back gardens from ground level. If you can see them from your garden, invest in some fencing/hedging/shrubs, or are you spying on them from a top window?

They've every right to use the garden just as do you. If they bother you you know it's your own responsibility to install fencing or other privacy screening.
The activities of which you speak don't sound noisy or intrusive. They could be playing drums, blasting music, having tons of parties. Installing a naked only hot tub for the local sumo wrestling team?

Why put music on even if it's low. That's antisocial. The neighbours are enjoying their garden in a reasonable way.

"I know I can’t exactly ask them not to use their garden, ..."
By using the word 'exactly', you make it clear that you want to ask them in some roundabout weaselly handwringing way not to use their garden. Don't you?

To be clear - you cannot ask them in any shape or form or even imply that they should in some mysterious way not use their garden. Ever.

"... but it just feels so unfair that I can’t relax in my own home because it’s like living next to a public park!"
No, it's not like living next to a public park. It's like living next to your neighbours. If your garden lacks privacy, then do something about it. Higher fences, trellis on top of the fence and grow some clematis to block the view, grow bamboo (in pots, bamboo spreads like wildfire and damages foundations), or even build a wall!

Your privacy is in your hands. so get on with it and stop wishing your neighbours didn't use their garden!

This has to be a wind up post.
No one is this weird

Don't play music in the garden!

Here's an outlandish suggestion. Stop being an arsehole & maybe invite your neighbours over for a cuppa, get to know them!

Got to be someone on the wind up!

This is 100% a you problem they are doing nothing wrong you either get use to it or move to the middle of nowhere.

I do find it believable sadly... Having had neighbours who harassed us to the extreme for years I do believe these weird posts about neighbours...

But you may well be right...
It is her only post on here that I can see...

This is genuinely the most batshit post I’ve EVER seen on mumsnet and on that basis, I’m calling 🐂💩

Her fences are fine. She's obviously been spying from an upstairs window.

I’m reading this in my garden, I wonder if OP is next door seething.

First post op?

He has a garden office and she sits outside reading? Utter bastards. You should think yourself lucky. Try living in South London

Is this a wind up?

Why not put an anonymous letter through their door proposing a garden usage rota so you’re not out at the same time?

Sounds ridiculous? Gently, you are being ridiculous about this. Try being out for short spells and doing something to distract yourself from their proximity. They sound like good neighbours, and I don’t imagine they’re remotely interested in you being outside at the same time.

While I understand where you're coming from in feeling as though you're not alone when in your garden I very much doubt that your neighbours are listening to your conversations.

It's kind of weighing up as to whether you put a fence up incase it, for want of a better word, upsets them or just stick with saying your hello's and blanking them out.

Any chance they'd like a fence put up but can't afford to install one?

TBH some neighbours think only of themselves and are either incredibly selfish or plain deaf when it comes to banging music out, I'd bite your arm off to have neighbours that aren't noisy or anti social.

this!

Shudder!!

Have you considered shooting them?