I sort of know IABU, but would this bother you? Neighbours always in the garden.

[Newhomeandgarden]

DP and I bought and moved into our new house about 3 months ago. The garden was a big feature for us. The problem is that our next door neighbours clearly think so too - they’re always out in theirs and I mean always. The husband works from a home office at the bottom of the garden, the wife often brings her laptop out and works at the garden table, or else doing yoga on the grass or just sits there reading with a drink. It just makes me feel like they’re always just right there, lurking, and I feel really self-conscious when I sit in our garden and especially if DP and I have a conversation out there that they’re listening in on it. DP doesn’t want to rock the boat because they aren’t noisy or antisocial as such and we moved to get away from nightmare neighbours, but I’m just devastated that it looks like we’re going to end up in the same situation in what was meant to be our fresh start.

I know I can’t exactly ask them not to use their garden, but it just feels so unfair that I can’t relax in my own home because it’s like living next to a public park!

This. It's their bloody garden and they can use it how often they like. You don't like it then put a sodding hedge up or something. The audacity.

You are being totally unreasonable. They have as much right there as you. Fences or hedges are your answer,

This! I can understand that would be annoying but were you really thinking of asking them not to use their garden?!

You need some fences and hedges, bushes or trees.

Shock Horror! Neighbours want to use their own garden for perfectly normal pursuits!

I hope that, reading through the responses, you've realised that you sound rather unreasonable and that actually, in comparison to some of the positively vile neighbours that some MNs have experienced, you're pretty lucky.

In better news for OP, there is an estate agency for people who don't want neighbours: https://www.stags.co.uk/articles/rural-retreats-homes-with-no-neighbours-for-sale.

How is two people using their own garden to do work and stuff like living next to a public park?

Be thankful you don’t live next door to us, we can be out in the garden all day and we have a trampoline 😱

Are you unwell OP? In not being unkind but your post is bizarre

So you think it’s unfair that they use their own garden to just relax in … because you want to do the same ?? This is a weird post

Don't know which is more bonkers. This or the one asking their therapist to remind them to pay. MN is mad!

So what did your previous nightmare neighbours do that you fear is happening again? Your neighbours are simply using their garden in a perfectly normal, not anti-social way.

Let me get this right - you're worried about them being able to overhear your conversations and yet you appear to know their entire outdoor schedule?

Put up a higher fence if you have a low one currently, or plant some hedging. And maybe look into some sort of therapy.

So when you were house hunting, you must have looked at the garden if a garden was so important to you in your search.
How did it not occur to either of you that your neighbours might like to use their garden the same as you would, and that this would be a problem to you?

How did you develop that level of entitlement which allows you to think that only you should use your garden and that your neighbours should stay indoors and deny themselves use of their gardens in favour of you not being able to see, hear or sense anybody else in theirs?

There’s a lot of harsh replies but actually I understand. I think when you’ve had nightmare neighbours, you are on edge and braced for more and are over-sensitised. So the OP has in fact great neighbours now but they are Always. There.

My next door neighbour is also always there ( he’s a young retiree who never goes out anywhere) and our hedging isn’t dense enough to screen completely so I’m very aware of him.

He isn’t doing anything wrong, just like the OP’s isn’t and I do try to block him. On my other side there is an extra-high fence and what a difference that makes - I feel far more relaxed when they are out in the garden. They also go out so it feels more balanced.

The OP is being unreasonable but I do get where they are coming from too…

You want to use your garden and you don't want your neighbours to use theirs?! 🤣

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Should be a Daily Mash story

If you can see what your neighbours are doing in the garden you need bigger fences or a huge hedge.

How dare they quietly enjoy their own garden! Not on your watch, OP. Log it with 101.

The problem here is your over self consciousness, under self awareness.

They are peacefully enjoying their own garden, likely making the most of fine weather, antisocial not at all, not “as such”.

Everywhere you move, you will still be there, so try instead to get comfortable in your own skin and where you are. Unless you go somewhere very remote, other people are a fact of life.

I’m pretty sure your conversations are of little interest to them, but it’s easy enough to hold more private conversations inside.

This is very much a you problem.

This is such an odd post. You aren’t living next to a public park! Ar eyour neighbours watching you or peering over the fence? Is it a really low fence which means you are aware of each other?

They aren’t nightmare neighbours. They are using their garden, just as you want to use your own garden! Why do your insecurities trump your neighbours’ right to enjoy their garden?

You need to find a way to deal with this before it totally screws you up and puts your marriage at risk.your marriage

Go back indoors and stay there.

Lurking? Bloody hell it’s their garden!
Why are people who use their own garden comparable to nightmare neighbours? Did the nightmare neighbours use their garden too?
God the entitlement and cheek of some people!

DP doesn’t want to rock the boat because they aren’t noisy or antisocial

Wtf? What do you imagine your DP could do, ask them not to use their own garden?

Seriously, grow up.

Are you taking the piss?I would tell you to run and jump if you moaned about me sitting in my garden🙈

Is this a reverse?