5 year old in the ladies. Is it okay?

[LoveFridaynight]

At what age would people feel uncomfortable to have a child of the opposite sex in the "wrong" toilet?
I was told off yesterday for taking my nearly 5 year old son in to the ladies. A woman in there said he should use the men's. No-one has ever said anything like this to me before. I could understand if he was a teenager or something but a young child?
Really? On his own? At 5? Not that he could anyway as he's autistic and not toilet trained so I needed to change his nappy.
I thought afterwards I should have used the disabled toilet but I try to avoid that incase someone who can only use the disabled toilet comes along. I think I will just do this in future though.
But regardless of disability I don't think children under the age of 9 should be in the toilet on their own.
What are your thoughts on the age a child should be using the "right" toilet?

For me it’s about their safety. I wouldn’t feel safe letting my 5 and 7 year old go into a men’s public toilet on their own. I’m not sure when I will but definitely not yet. They behave, they use the toilet wash their hands and done. If someone has a problem with that then that is on them, I am not putting my children in danger.

Jesus. That’s tight.

Sorry but what threat or even bother is a 4/5 yr old boy in the ladies toilets?
Has the world gone nuts that, a woman would prefer a child to go to the toilet alone in the men’s rather than safely accompany his mum to the ladies? 😳

Because it's a changing area and the age rules are quite clearly set out on the door on entry. It's never happened thankfully.

Keep doing it, the majority of women don’t care same as most of us don’t care about trans being in there either. If you feel self conscious and he doesn’t like the noise could you use ear defenders as then it’s obvious?

Thankfully is right. Very OTT on your part.

You were unlucky to encounter someone with that opinion, most people wouldn't have an issue with this and would have done the same thing.

My child has just turned 6 and I still take him into the ladies, although he hates it and wants to use the mens, I don't allow him to. It's simple things like if he got locked in for example, I wouldn't be able to just walk into the mens loos, and not the mention worse things that could happen. I'm not sure when I'll allow him to, but I think around 8 is normally the standard?

The OP says her son is nearly 5. OP perhaps you should had said "he's only 4 and I'm not going to send him uon his own into the men's toilet."

I’ve never seen a man in the ladies with a little girl and I don’t agree that they should go in either. They should go to the mens with their children.

The vast majority of women don't care about prepubescent boys being in the ladies, toilets or changing.

But actually I think a heck of a lot will care about trans women especially in changing rooms. And being aware trans are far more likely to sexually assault women than men in general.

My sons 12 and if we’re in a very busy venue-
football stadium etc I still expect him to come in the ladies. Much to his disgust!
we were in Cardiff utilita arena at an olly Murs concert Monday and there were grown women using the men’s toilets as the ladies was so long, this I find more of an issue then a child using the ladies!

I wouldn't of let my 5 year old sons go in a mans toilet by themselves no way.
I'd of told them to mind their own business.

Ignore that woman, 5 is ok.

Also, why do some people say this shit to others? Why is a 5 year old boy making her feel uncomfortable?

That is a very good question, why is she feeling threatened by a 5yo actually not even 5yo.

Sounds like a bussy body who likes to moan. In some countries 5yos aren't even in school.

Your opinion. Please yourself. If it were a toilet I'd be pretty much un bothered but I don't want to share changing space with boys over 7 and the girls probably don't either. The rule is there to be followed and thankfully it's observed.

5 is totally fine!
My eldest is 8 and has just started to want to go into the mend himself which I let him depending on the situation but I’d be happy with any aged boy with their mum in the ladies if they were needing to be with a parent. That will vary on the child and situation so no single acceptable age. Our gym says kids over 8 have to use their gender changing room but I ignore that as we are in a cubicle anyway.

I would absolutely not allow my 5 year old son to go off into the men’s loos alone she wants you to trust a group of random men not to harm your young child I would tell her where to go

8 is the usual cut off, isn’t it? I don’t think the age should increase for disabilities; that’s what the disabled toilets are for.

No one over 8 is allowed in opposite sex changing rooms at school/swimming lessons, this seems fair enough to me.

You see, women’s toilets are cubicles so no one is seeing anything. So boys with their mum in the ladies doesn’t bother me. My girls hated to go in the men’s as they couldn’t men stood at the urinal. And they said they smell. I know men who take their girls into the ladies. Again this wouldn’t bother me either. Some men while shout ‘dad bringing child in alert’ in case anyone objects.

As for swimming. Out changing rooms are one big communal area with cubicles. Me enter the pool from a different end to the ladies but that’s because there are toilets and a shower. But basically rows and rows of cubicles in one big space. I know that private pools do tend to have a ladies communal changing room and the same for men. Without cornices or one or two cubicles but mostly communal. So this could prove a trickier situation when taking opposite sex children in.

@ilovesooty So if it said 8 like the majority of places you wouldn’t complain ? Do you have any sons yourself ? The way you say “thankfully” as if a 7 year old child poses some massive threat. So inappropriate

Yes a lot will care but most won’t.

My 8yo son still comes in with me. He goes in the men's sometimes too but depends where we are. Never had anyone comment and it certainly wouldn't stop me. Ladies have cubicles so I don't really see the issue. Especially at 5!

My son was about 9 before I let him go in the men's alone! My girls probably slightly younger, although my youngest is 9 in a month and if we go somewhere busy (shopping centre or supermarket) I take her still.

8-9 years old is fine to me - basically I wouldn't be phased by any child who was still very very clearly under the age of puberty.

She said her son is autistic so may be support needs that may require an accessible toilet.