5 year old in the ladies. Is it okay?

[LoveFridaynight]

At what age would people feel uncomfortable to have a child of the opposite sex in the "wrong" toilet?
I was told off yesterday for taking my nearly 5 year old son in to the ladies. A woman in there said he should use the men's. No-one has ever said anything like this to me before. I could understand if he was a teenager or something but a young child?
Really? On his own? At 5? Not that he could anyway as he's autistic and not toilet trained so I needed to change his nappy.
I thought afterwards I should have used the disabled toilet but I try to avoid that incase someone who can only use the disabled toilet comes along. I think I will just do this in future though.
But regardless of disability I don't think children under the age of 9 should be in the toilet on their own.
What are your thoughts on the age a child should be using the "right" toilet?

No way in hell would my 5 year old son be using the men’s on his own. Ignore that woman

I’m horrified at the thought of sending a boy under 11 into the men’s alone tbh. I remember in the 80s there was a public toilet in our local park where a middle aged man hung around outside. He would follow unaccompanied boys in. My mum reported him to the police and at neighbourhood watch meetings many times but it was the 80s so not much happened. I shudder still at the memory. Surely the risk is far higher sending them into the men’s alone than any risk they pose by going into the ladies with a parent

Autism is a disability.

My ds is 10 and mostly comes in with me.

Good grief. 5 is fine. There are lockable doors. Unisex toilets are the answer.

Nothing wrong with that. At both my local swimming pools the signs say when they turn 8 they need to use the changing room of their own sex.

Completely acceptable for a 5 year old to use the women's.

This, stupid woman for suggesting it.

I’m disabled and although I can’t speak for everyone obviously I’d have no issue at all if I saw a mum with a little one using the disabled loo, it’s often baby change aswell anyway. We tend to all go
in the disabled if I’m with my sons (6/11) or they go in the mens with their dad. 11 does go in the mens alone now but I don’t like it…

I agree with you, her opinion is unhinged as well as unwelcome

Tell anyone who objects to piss off! Cheeky mare.....

No way would I let a five year old in the men’s toilets alone is she joking?
I have two boys who are 10 and 16 now and I still take my 10 year old with me - IF there is no option like a disabled / family toilet. I have often asked women or checked if there are girls alone etc and am just mindful and I would always be with him.
Girls toilets have cubicles and it’s much easier to navigate privacy ( for both parties) but I would always ‘read the room’ .

A 5y old alone in the male’s toilet? Nah
My 4 year old comes with me most of the times…he says that “manS toilets are bisgusting”
He’ll keep coming with me and that old witch can mind her own business.

My grandson is coming up 8 and he still comes in the ladies with me and will be until senior school or his dad my son says otherwise

Ignore the person. I took my son into changing rooms and toilets until around the age of 8 or 9 by which point he was starting to feel embarrassed in there anyway. If your child has additional needs you could get the Access card and a radar key for using the disabled toilets.

5 year old…yes ladies toilet is ok!

My DS is 10 and I still want him to use the ladies with me! Often we both go in the disabled toilets if we both need a quick wee! I hate the idea of the mens. Too much can go wrong!

At 10 there's no way either of mine would have wanted to go in the ladies with me, so I'm surprised yours would.
You have to let them grow up sometimes.
When they first started going in by themselves I'd stand outside the mens shouting through "you alright in there?" just so everyone knows I'm stood outside so don't mess with me lol

I do the same! I said I want him to come in with me; I didn't say that he does that 😂I get the eyeroll and moaning!

Fuck off! (Not aimed at you OP)...he's a 5 year old little boy of course he should be with you in the ladies. It wouldn't be acceptable being an adult female taking him into the mens.

Y4/5 is when students seem to care about changing separately etc. I wouldn't have an issue taking any child under 8/9 into the Ladies.

I would recommend getting a Radar Key. You can just buy one online or in a shop selling Accessibility stuff. It means you'll have access to Changing Rooms as your child gets bigger making it easier and cleaner to change nappies. People with ASD sometimes don't get the warning signals they need to pee so it's also useful once you're out of nappies too and you don't have to queue etc.

Erm... The Equality Act, The Care Act...oh and the AUTISM Act 2009 would point out that not recognising Autism as a disability is illegal for Companies, Charities, Educational Settings and Medical Institutions...

It's really devastating that both neuro-typical and neurodiverse people don't understand this. When people start to realise that someone with ASD has the same rights as someone in a wheelchair to things like Reasonable Adjustments and equal access to Goods and Services, I think the world will start realising they need to treat people with ASD properly. The Autism Act is from the first decade of this century. We're in the third one. Yet people act like we're still living in the last century.

I hope your comment was merely due to not reading the OP properly...

Way to over-react! I had missed OP said that, which is why there was a question mark to check "right?". It's page 16 and there had been many contributions from a wide range of people, because OP isn't actually the only person taking her child to the toilet. Clarifying "No he is disabled because he's Autistic" is all that was required.

I think primary school age is fine for boys in the ladies. If they look childlike it’s fine IMO

I think it makes more sense for you to go into the men's than for a man in his 20s to be in the female toilets