To be genuinely tearful about this situation 🥹

[Theordinaryfam]

This will be very outing but I honestly feel so heartbroken and I am sure I am probably over reacting.
DD is year 6 of primary school, she has not had it easy and ill health has meant she has had a unique education journey so far.
she is an able, sweet and kind girl who causes very little trouble for anyone.
she has an IV central line called a Hickman line which she has had since neonates. She although has been through a lot tries her best at everything she does and is capable of most things when well.
the only thing that is fairly restrictive is water based activities due to high risk is sepsis - something we know all too well can put her life at risk. We have to take care in physical activities but that is usually easily adapted and she participates to her level of ability.
the school are aware of the issues surrounding this due to a few times now it being a barrier.
year 6 SATS are this week and between some medical appointments she is sitting them like everyone else.
she was excited about Friday because she anticipated something fun was going to happen with her class due to SATS ending Thursday and she was right.
The school however did do any risk assessments before booking a trip to a riverside water activity centre where they will be kayaking etc in the in the River Thames. She is the only child again that won’t be able to attend ( she can not participate in residential which for many reasons I accept and agree )
I could of maybe swang it with the hospital which again was something the school has had previous experience with regarding daughter to allow her with a specific swim gear that we could lend from a charity but they have given me 4 days notice.
tonight I have had to sit and tell DD that she will most likely not be able to participate in the Friday after her working so hard.
she is so upset and I am so angry but I know probably like I will be told in here she is one child 🥹🥹

Encourage your daughter to attend with her friends. They all know that she can't do water sports so they will understand that she will not kayak. DD will interact socially and experience the activity through being with her friends.

As hard as it is, this will be your daughter's life. She will accompany her friends often to events in which she can not participate in exactly the same way. Help her not resent her friends but to learn to engage and learn about new activities with her friends. Her being there is better than her missing out. Asssit her to modify activities to suit.

It is not fair that all of the children have to miss out on kayaking when they are at the perfect age to try a more risky adventures. As kids grow older they demand more physicality and are more capable.

I agree with ScaryMOnster that there could be an activity that an instructor could assist DD with to give her an option of being on the water. Ideas - DD in waterproof suit sitting as a passenger while being rowed, by an adult, in a more stable vessel or sitting in an actual kayak while on dry land - learning the oar movements for a shorter time. Your daughter could be chief photographer for an activity etc.

Seriously give your head a big wobble.

It is not fair that all of the children have to miss out on kayaking when they are at the perfect age to try a more risky adventures.

Whats wrong with you?

What a shitty post.

:( This is really shit. It’s a longstanding health issue her school know about, so I don’t think this is ok at all. The Thames gave me friend serious food poisoning so you could not pay me to go near it 🤢

I hope she gets to have a lovely Friday with you!! At this rate I wouldn’t use the other posters kind ideas of finding an alternative as I’d be too concerned about her getting splashed by the water and her still feeling upset at missing the main activity.

Agree with you, Very shitty!! Oh let’s make your child the photographer of all the other kids having fun? As an adult I wouldn’t go to something my health issues make unachievable, why on earth should this child be forced to go so others don’t feel bad. Ridiculous. The ableism is really gross isn’t it.

So, the school know they have one child in the year group who cannot participate in waterbased activites for medical reasons. This school has then booked a waterbased activity as a reward for the year group. How absolutely awful of them. My heart breaks at the thoughtlessness of it.

This was easily avoidable.
Using this as a learning opportunity for an 11 year old stinks. She needs someone to advocate for her (as any child does) not tell her it’s part of life.

This is sad. Sorry OP. Your girl deserved better and thankfully she has a mum who cares so much for her happiness 😊.

Agree. And I’m a tough arse parent. Part of life might be the dessert she wants not being left at the cafe or not being picked for a birthday party or something. Not an activity being picked when 1000’s of other options and a school of all places actively excluding her.

I take children on lots of exciting, adventurous excursions. I did one with my class recently, and I’ve already thought about how it might not be suitable for a child that will be in my class next year. As such, I’ve started chatting with the parents to find out what that child can do with a bit of forward planning.

The school have known OPs daughter for years, it’s not a surprise. OP suggested that, with planning, her daughter might have been able to take part in kayaking. If that’s not possible, there are lots of other fun and exciting things the children could potentially go and do. They’re in London, there will be lots of choices available to them with good time management. ‘Inclusion’ means making sure everyone can take part and, when it’s a class celebration, it’s even more vital to try and make it a positive experience for everyone.

This is the worst advice. This girl could have participated if the school did the literal bare minimum of telling her parents a few weeks ago. It is entirely avoidable.

Telling her to get used to a life of sitting on the sidelines taking photos of other people having fun is really ridiculous. Why not instead teach her how to advocate - if not for her as clearly it’s too late to fix this - but for the next child. Teach her that when you see injustice you fight back, even if you can’t fix your life tomorrow. Teach her that she isn’t alone, that she’s important and that you will always fight in her corner.

I would 100% boycott this if my daughter was attending. It’s so infuriating that I am angrier this morning than I was yesterday.

my dsughter is autistic and has eczema and loads of sensory challenges. She doesn’t attend everything and can’t do everything her friends and classmates can, but she’s in control of that (for the most part) and we figure out ways around lots of challenges (bringing her own bedding to her residential, having social stories to prepare her for the journey, buying extra waterproofs as she can’t stand being wet). We had time to organise extra things for her school trips as the school told us what was going to happen and worked with us to find solutions. It’s both the right thing to do and a legal requirement so I’d go in there with intensity to be honest.

I do think the school could have picked a more inclusive activity.

But I'll just say this that as a parent of a healthy child. I'd be thinking twice and maybe not allowing them to be going anywhere near that river. I mean several athletes have gotten sick swimming in it, DH has said he would never open water swim there or let the kids. So that sort of activity where they usually end up dunking them would be a no go. I hope the school has done a through risk assessment.

Poor lass. I'm sorry OP. I wouldn't want my kid kayaking on the Thames... it's hardly the activity most likely to be accessible to the widest range of kids.

I should add that it being a physical challenge was not the issue -

I don't think teaching her daughter to accept disability discrimination as inevitable is good advice

It's just fairer that her daughter misses out is it?

Discrimination is absolutely something to get worked up about.

The school know OP's daughter
The school know that if there was enough notice, a special suit could've been loaned

All of this was avoidable.

I know this is totally not the point, but my kid's class recently did a science experiment where they measured pollution levels in the Thames and the water itself, shockingly, is actually pretty clean. (Not that I would have wanted DS swimming in it without a special suit.)

@Theordinaryfam - the school got this badly wrong; I am sorry. DS's school did the same, and continue to do so, despite frequent requests that they consider the vastly differing abilities of the children in the class when booking these types of activities.

It won't help for this time, but have you tried applying to a charity for a specialist suit which your DD can keep? Sadly, I have no advice on how to make the school less shit. :-(

logansfund.org/hickman-line-dry-suits/

Our cubs did a water activity like this and a boy who couldn't get wet (I think it was cochlear implant related) went in the open canoe with an instructor and fired a water pistol at his friends, did a bit of canoeing. It looked like he joined in and had a great time.

There might be a variety of boats and with an expert it would be neat impossible to fall out of a Canadian canoe. The poster earlier that said to call the centre was right, they will have better ideas than the school.

But what a shame the school is not ringing around trying to make this a good day for all of their pupils. The op shouldn’t have to do that for a school activity

What the heck?? They need to give their heads a wobble.

Please take her and stay and watch,she can do the non water based activities and maybe a small party tea with a couple of best friends at home afterwards.

Disability discrimination? They could reasonably picked an alternative activity or did something like having an instructor in a canoe ( some chance if splashing but not immersion).

I would complain and definitely take her to do something else.

My son is in a similar situation and would be incredibly upset watching everyone have fun whilst he was stuck with connect 4 which is clearly something just to keep them busy waiting for their turn of the fun activity. My Year 4 child would get that straight away, A Year 6 child will definitely get it too.

It shouldn't be happening in the first place because so many other options would be far more inclusive.

Hi OP I am so sorry this is happening and def complain.

I haven't read all of the original posts but have you tried on the Facebook swap and sell pages or Skiggle to see if anyone has a Hammond suit you might be able to borrow? If so would the consultant sign off on it?

I do not know what condition your little one has - my son used to have a Hickman and it was Heartline that sorted one for us (I think they only do standard wetsuits now rather than the dry suits due to the cost) but the Isabel Baker Foundation used to be quite quick at sorting them out and some of the disability specific charities also keep them in stock (at the time Heartline had an account and so used to send them out within days of ordering.)

It's also worth talking to the manufacturers directly could they get one out to her in time and if so the school should foot the bill for it. Good luck!!!