Husband wouldn’t help me on flight with children because he paid for holiday

[Mumof22025]

We have taken our two children away, making the most of travelling outside of school holidays because our eldest starts school in September. Both of them started playing up about halfway into the journey, my husband was sat across the aisle and just kept his headphones in depsite seeing I was struggling. I tapped him on the shoulder to ask for him to help and he just shrugged his shoulders and said that I could deal with it as he paid for the holiday. They were causing a scene and it was embarrassing with a packed plane. Do you think that parenting should still be equal even if one has paid more than the other for something? On a flight last year, he upgraded himself to a seat with extra room and that was a few rows in front of us, luckily the kids behaved.

We won’t have more kids, we are definitely happy with 2.

This. You need to claim the child benefit. And you need to get back to work. If you wait, where will your career be?

It really is truly astounding how many do. Life is too short to be married to a twat.

Huge red flag...get home safely and divorce him. Can't believe his behaviour!

I’m really sorry but I can’t, let me see if I can find it!

No way! Sorry but no way!! I would say my body grew these children and risked dying to birth them so I should technically be in buisness / first class for the rest of my life.

How are you on holiday with him. Sorry but nooooo way would this be ok in my relationship. The first time I would have been having serious talks on separation.

Are you the nanny or his wife?

Listen to the way you think

You are ‘looked after financially’ FFS so somehow you don’t need to address being treated like a servant in your own marriage.

I’m very glad my daughters have more self respect than you seem to.

So you’re putting up with crap because you don’t want to work?
What example is that setting those poor kids? To grow up to be men like him and treat a women as a skivvy?

You aren't looked after financially though, or emotionally, or physically.

This guy is an utter twat. What kind of deadbeat dad ignores his kids because he paid for the holiday?

OP have a higher bar.

That's one of the most bonkers things I have ever heard!

This cannot be a real scenario and the op cannot seriously not know that he is in the wrong if it is true!!

op,if you are a sahm then his money is also your money. If my husband was making such comments he would find himself divorced. You do not work for your husband and his children are also his responsibility. The worst part though is to see you struggling and not even try to help, just let you struggle. Why would you not help the person you loved?

I hope you see the light

I don't understand how women married to men like him can bring themselves to have sex with them at all.

Unfortunately being looked after financially has given your H permission to fuck you over in other ways. He pays for things so gets to opt out of being a parent. He pays for things so upgrades and leaves his family to increase his comfort. I’m sorry you’re being treated so poorly. Your H seems to think he’s brought your dignity and right to complain. Completely unacceptable way to live, even if your bills are being paid. He’s a prick.

not sure if you have sons/daughters/one of each but this is very very bad to be showing them as an example. They either will think they can behave such a way to women in the future and turn out to be awful men. Or they will accept men treating them like a skivvy for the rest of their lives. I couldn’t have this for my kids and you shouldn’t for yours either.

Don't worry OP, everyone's saying the same thing and your "D"H isn't coming out of it well.
You don't need to "have another look at CB when you get home" with your husband. You can look while you're on holiday, all by yourself, while your husband is entertaining your DC - see here: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/child-benefit/before-you-claim/check-if-you-can-get-child-benefit/
Then you can apply once you get home and have all your info' to hand: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/child-benefit/help-with-your-child-benefit-claim/how-to-claim-child-benefit/

Is this thread real I don't believe a word of it. No woman who has pride would sound like this. Are you down trodden op?

And it also doesnt take long for attitudes to change. He pays for your service. So he will treat you like hired help and not a wife. Which you have seen with him refusing to help his wife on a plane as he views you as more of a nanny serving him.

cb hasnt changed (well it has but that isnt the point). But you even of your dh earns too much, you need to claim it and he pays it back because it pays your stamp.

This thread reminds me of this photo. I wonder if Boris said he paid for the holiday….

He thinks you're his servant

You may have material things but you don't have a husband who respects you.

Use your savings to LTB.

I’m the bread winner in my house, never have I even considered that I could opt out of parenting my children and I would never have wanted to.

He needs to parent his children.

Dump the H. He is a twerp, among other odd things. What father gets himself a better seat than his wife and kids? Put him back in the pond where you found him.
Currently, rip his headphones off and tell him to pull his bloody weight or you are taking the next plane home and changing all the locks. And do it!

He treats you like an employee not a partner. You may be financially comfortable so you don't need to work until your youngest goes to school, but your husband shows you no respect and doesn't see you as an equal.

You seems quite resigned to this behaviour, as though you don't deserve any better. You should be absolutely furious with him. What sort of man watches his wife struggle with two children for the whole flight, while he ignores you all as though you and the children are nothing to do with him.

Btw, it’s not your children’s behaviour that you need to be embarrassed about. It’s your husband’s.