Paying to attend Baby Shower?

[shyray62]

I might be a bit out of touch here - my baby shower was 8 year ago now - but I just feel that it’s a bit cheeky 😬

Group chat was created by mum to be’s sister inviting us all along to celebrate at a local tearooms. I said yes, would love to come.

Then we had the ridiculous gift list - everything very particular - with actual links to websites. We all had to say what we were buying so it could be crossed off the main list. Whatever, I chose something and that was that.

Just had a message to say that food will be £10 each and we need to pay cash on arrival. I mean, it’s been a month or so since people RSVPd and ‘chose’ their gift. And so now with this payment surprise thrown in, it would seem a little off to turn around and cancel? No one else seems to have an issue with it. Just so I’m not drip feeding, the tearooms is owned by a close family member and it’ll still be open to the public so they’re not paying to hire it out or anything.

It’s only a tenner and mum to be is a lovely friend so of course I will still go and have a nice time. BUT AIBU to find it all a bit cheeky and annoyed that it wasn’t mentioned to start with? I am by no means well off and can’t even buy a nice but cheaper gift as we had to choose something specific.

I've never been asked something like that, but wouldn't mind any of what you're describing.

I really like the idea of potlucks for showers, so putting in a ten instead of cooking sounds good, not effort involved on my part, yay!

Also, having a litter of kids under the age of 10 myself, I've gotten so many lovely and not-so-lovely and duplicate baby gifts over the years, I love the idea of her very specific list including links and checking things off. Again, another opportunity to be lazy on my part, double yay! I do this with my kids at Christmas and I even keep a spreadsheet! lol

Go, have fun. :)

Simple - honesty in the invitation is violated. Cancel going to the shower and return the baby gift to the store. Let mumtobe know "no thanks - enjoy your shower!" Let other attendees know your not going to and the reason

I'd personally be happy to go to a baby shower and pay for my own meal or a small fee. When i had one? I had a small get together with 5 guest and my friend paid for afternoon tea which was lovely but, I've been invited to others where its afternoon tea and you pay for yourself which is also fine (you choose if to go or not)
My S.I.L wanted one and me and a family member offered to pay (she wanted a small one) then she kept adding more guest as she and her partner "wanted" more presents, to this day we have never seen eye to eye again, she thinks i was jealous and spoiling her event but I couldn't believe how grabby she was acting, she even asked us to pass on a message to all the guest that she wanted organic presents only when it came to body care..... if I have another baby, there is no way id personally have a baby shower again, times have changed and the cost of living is expensive, my pregnancy shouldn't be everyone else's expense. Like I say, I had a small baby shower and people who asked to see the baby when I had him, bought me a gift but there was never any pressure.

I’d need a gift and £10 to ATTEND a baby shower…