Next door neighbour asking daily for my parking space

[Chocolatecoffeecream]

NDN has a child with disability, so do I. Our road is near a school and always busy. A few weeks ago she called me to say her dd was unwell and she couldn’t park near the house would I mind moving my car so she could have the space outside my house, I said yes of course and moved my car to the next road as there were not any nearer spaces but it wasn’t an issue for what I thought was a one off emergency.

Since then she is asking all the time , daily, if she can’t get a space and sees my car nearer the houses she calls and calls or parks elsewhere then knocks to say can I move as she needs the space as her dd is disabled. When I say no sorry I need the space she is getting really irritated. I said she should perhaps contact the council to see if they can add a disabled parking space ?
She knocked at 11pm one night last week to ask me to move as it would make it easier im the morning for her, I lied and said I’d had too much wine and she said ‘well give me the keys I’ll get dp to move yours ‘!

AIBU to put a note through her door to request that she stops doing this as it’s getting to the point where I feel harassed ?

I wouldnt bother with a note. Id say no sorry and keep saying no. And ignore if necessary.

This would really annoy me, she’s taken advantage of your kindness. Just say no.

I wouldn’t do a note because then she might start on about ‘why couldn’t you say it my face?’. No one ever says ‘why didn’t you write me a note instead of having this conversation. I would just tell her ‘because I need it’. You don’t need to elaborate

If she’s a good friend she’ll understand. If she gets nasty, she’s not a good friend x

If it’s public parking, what’s the issue? Just say no.

A note is fine. "CFNDN, I was happy to help you with parking as a one-off emergency some weeks back. You've since been turning up almost daily so it has become intolerable. I will not move the car for you again and please do not ring my doorbell unless it's an emergency at the level where 999 are genuinely needed. Cheers, Chocs."

Could you approach her and say something like this? Or if you feel it’s confrontational pop a note through her door?

NDN,
I wanted to address the parking situation with you. I understand how difficult things must be with your daughter’s needs, and I was more than happy to help out by moving my car from my space in your emergency. However, I’m finding it increasingly difficult to keep being asked to move my car, at short notice or late at night etc

My own child also has additional needs, like you, I too need the closest space available.
I really think it would help if you reached out to the council about applying for a designated disabled space. It could give you the consistency and access you need long-term.

I hope you can understand, it’s not that about being unkind, it’s that moving my car regularly from my own space isn’t sustainable or fair, especially when I also rely on that space.
I’d appreciate your understanding and hope we can both work around each other as best we can.

You're too nice @Keyfob23 . This type of cheeky fucker will ride every reason in the letter off into the sunset. The "no" needs to be much harder in my opinion; she doesn't need nor deserve the "why", just clarity that the car isn't moving.

"No, I'm not moving my car and stop asking me". Don't get into it, just a no.

You seem like a nice neighbour and she is taking advantage. Tell her you and your child has a disability (it's got nothing to do with her what the disability is) and you need that space. She could try and council to paint a disabled bay outside her house (my neighbour had just got one).

She will start saying it's an 'emergency' each time.

She will start using 'it's an emergency' as an excuse.

i voted YANBU but a conversation (or even a text) is probably a better option in the longer run. Don't want the awkwardness to get worse through (forgive me if this is just my opinion), but a note through the door comes across quit passive aggressive.. just explain about requirements etc.. and it's public space! Neighbour definitely BVU

Just stop answering the door to her. She will soon get the message

What a big hassle to expect you to go and move your car each time! 11pm at night I would’ve said you’ve woken me up what’s the emergency? I’d tell her to foxtrot Oscar tbh

Don't put a note through her door - speak to her directly and explain that you need this space yourself. This is NOT unreasonable!

This. 100%.

If you are parking outside your house then why can't she park outside hers, or is the space on the road between you both? Assuming she must manage to park there sometimes, so next time just turn up at her door and ask her to move.

You need to just say no, Not no because.......xyz
Pushy people always find a solution to a reason you give. If you do feel like you need to add something try no sorry I'm not OK with moving it today.
Or sorry if I had wanted to park further away from my house I would've done.
Learning to politely say no is a skill and can feel a bit awkward at first but people who know me feel easier about asking for favours now as they know if I can't I will just say no and it's OK.
I definitely hate asking family for favours when they are the sort that won't say no even if they want to cos I feel guilty second guessing them.

Just say NO! No need to explain, no need to apologise, no need to justify your decision.

is it a disabled space specifically for you? Does it belong to your house (sorry idk how these work). If its just grneral road space youve parked on say no

OMG WTF!!! What an absolute cheek!!! I’d be really firm and tell her the space is yours, don’t not ask me again else we are going to seriously fall out. Knocking at your house at 11pm is outrageous!!! I’m mad for you

Wow, that’s a new level of cheeky fucker entitlement.

Do what you want OP, a note is fine. It doesn’t really matter how you do it, she still won’t like it. As she’s a CF who clearly doesn’t care what you think of her, you can stop caring about what she thinks of you.

What makes most difference to your life? Silent thoughts in someone else’s head or being asked at all hours to move your car far away and then having to make your own child with SEN go further?

Just keep saying no.

Unquestionably cheeky, entitled and massively selfish behaviour without any concern or care for you and your family!!! 🙄
If you do not want a face to face confrontation (which I wouldn't myself) then indeed write a stern but polite note and put it through the door ASAP!!
Just explain why what she is constantly requesting is wrong and not acceptable (not that she will not deep down know that herself!) and tell her firmly and categorically that you will no longer be moving your car to accommodate her!
She is well and truly 'extracting the Michael' FFS!!! 😡