Next door neighbour asking daily for my parking space

[Chocolatecoffeecream]

NDN has a child with disability, so do I. Our road is near a school and always busy. A few weeks ago she called me to say her dd was unwell and she couldn’t park near the house would I mind moving my car so she could have the space outside my house, I said yes of course and moved my car to the next road as there were not any nearer spaces but it wasn’t an issue for what I thought was a one off emergency.

Since then she is asking all the time , daily, if she can’t get a space and sees my car nearer the houses she calls and calls or parks elsewhere then knocks to say can I move as she needs the space as her dd is disabled. When I say no sorry I need the space she is getting really irritated. I said she should perhaps contact the council to see if they can add a disabled parking space ?
She knocked at 11pm one night last week to ask me to move as it would make it easier im the morning for her, I lied and said I’d had too much wine and she said ‘well give me the keys I’ll get dp to move yours ‘!

AIBU to put a note through her door to request that she stops doing this as it’s getting to the point where I feel harassed ?

It doesn’t matter if she has a disabled hold or not and whether or not you do is irrelevant. It’s your space and she shouldn’t be taking the piss like that. If it continues she’ll just park there without asking and before you know it you’ve lost your space.

tell her to eff off.

Sounds like she can’t be bothered with the council as it’s likely to be a long procedure. It’s a public highway and the spaces outside her house don’t belong to her or anyone. I would tell her NO and wouldn’t care if she was angry as she’s being unreasonable.

I would had thought if the council did put in be a disabled space on the public road, a Blue Badge would be needed to actually park in it.

YANBU to want her behaviour to stop, but YABU to be making excuses or thinking about leaving notes. Just tell her straight! You don’t need to be rude or confrontational. Next time she asks just say, “I’m sorry, I was happy to move for a one-off emergency, but I can’t regularly move my car as it is inconvenient and I also have a disabled child.”

The end. If she keeps asking just repeat that.

This.
If you want to remain on good terms with her while you stand your ground then I suggest you find out the process for applying for a disabled space and pass the info on to her.

Hi, okay this sounds really harsh, but this is what you have to do. When she knocks again. You say. The answer is no, I will not be moving my car for you in the future anymore, so do not knock at my door anymore. If she says oh but my dd is disabled. You say that's your problem not mine. Now please leave m alone. And shut the door. I know this sounds harsh, but sometimes being firm and a teeny bit aggressive works.

I believe the disabled parking spaces put outside homes are not actually legal, more of an advisory.

@Chocolatecoffeecream did you speak with her or put a note through? How did it go?

Do you think there is a reason why your neighbour doesn't ask the council for a parking spot? Has she been declined before? Or does this "privilege" come with a cost f.i. not having benifits for public transport anymore? Anyway, you shouldn't give up your space on a regular base. Fine to help a neighbour out, I would do the same, but not to the cost of losing a much needed facility.

Just tell her it was a one off, and you need your own parking space for you and your family especially your child!

Marked in white, so yes, advisory and not strictly enforceable. Anyone with a blue badge can park in them, so not solely for the use of the resident.

Have you never told her that your child is disabled too?

"No, and please stop asking now. My child also has disabilities that mean I need to park close to home. Please ask somebody else."

So just to clarify OP you have a Blue Badge or whatever is required to park in the disabled bay. I would pop a note through her letterbox saying it is significantly impacting you being repetitively asked to surrender your space for her. Do you give her the Blue Badge as well? As she seems in desperate need of one herself point her to the website where she can apply. If it becomes an issue in the future, that there are not adequate disabled spaces then that is a matter for the council. I would think based on the number of Blue Badges allocated to that street they would be aware of the number of disabled bays required. They are in my area. In summary she is a CF and needs to get her own Blue Badge. I highly doubt she has compensated you for the time and inconvience suffered.

I’m just amazed 1% of people think this is reasonable!

Just take the bull by the horns and say “ I’m sorry l can’t give you my space again . It’s becoming really inconvenient for me and not really fair on me either . You can apply for your own space l’m sure you’ll get one “ then shut the conversation down . If it comes up again use the ( very useful ) phrase ..”sorry there’s nothing l can usefully add to what l’ve said before” and shrug ..

Put a note on your door that says

"If you are knocking to ask for my parking space, the answer is NO. Please do not knock, please do not call, please do not stop me on my way in or out. Do not park in my space or I will have it towed."

There is no disabled bay they are on about parking on street outside of their homes

I'm not quite clear from the post whether it is your parking space or a space on a public road, which anyone can use, but either way, I don't think it makes much odds. When she asked for a one off, as if it was an emergency, I'm totally with you that I would have moved as a favour or kindness, but to expect you to constantly move your car or run around to acccomodate her parking needs is taking the mick a bit (regardless of your own child's needs).

I think it is totally fair of you to say, gently with no level of annoyance, that you were happy to help in a one-off emergency situation, but it appears to have become an expectation for you to give up where you are parking. If she has a constant level of need for parking near her house, that is understandable but she needs to take that up with the council or someone who can offer local parking spaces, not you and you will not be moving your car for this reason any more.

It isn't a designated parking space. It's just a random place on the street, wherever OP has managed to nab a space. CF feels entitled to what OP has found for herself. From the OP:

Since then she is asking all the time , daily, if she can’t get a space and sees my car nearer the houses she calls and calls or parks elsewhere then knocks to say can I move as she needs the space as her dd is disabled.

Ooh FFS is this STILL going around in circles?

sorry i clicked on you are being unreasonable by mistake.i wanted to see what percentage had said that.you are being reasonable.it seems that your next door neighbour has anxiety regarding her child and parking space.she needs a disability parking space asap.and ask her to ALWAYS ask other neighbours to move their car and not contact you again regarding this matter.once you are out of the picture her anxiety towards you will transfer to other neighbours.

you can also block her number if she calls and calls .

I don’t think OP is referring to on street disabled bays. The neighbour is asking OP to move her car from in front of her own home. Even if the council puts marked disabled bays on the road at their request, they won’t be exclusively for their own use. Anyone with a blue badge can use them.

Except for the last bit. They’re not designated spaces so OP would have no reason to ‘have it towed’ !!

To quote a well used Mum‘s net saying

No good deed goes unpunished!