Is it normal for a masseur to offer "extras"?

[OrangeChips1]

My DH has a job which takes it's toll on his back so he gets occasional massages to try and straighten the knots out. I do give it a go but I can't get deep enough.

More often than not, it gets to the end of the massage and he's offered "extras" which really freaks him out. These are legit places in spas or gyms or on the high street with staff wearing uniforms etc.
We've noticed that when I've booked them on his behalf (as a gift or whatever) this doesn't happen.

Is it just the done thing and we're both naive about this? I never get offered any extras so I was always of the belief that a massage was a massage unless you go to a certain type of place 🤷🙈

YABU = you're naive
YANBU = that sounds like unusually bad luck

It is weird how people are so quick to assume if somebody is a sex worker they could not possibly be any good at anything else

I do not believe that sex work is the same as other work, I think it's mostly exploitative and I think punters are gross but it says a lot about you if you make such assumptions.

But did they all specifically say this or is this just what the husband, an unreliable narrator, is telling his wife they said.

Im a massage therapist i know loads of other massage therapists we dont offer extras. We are however regularly asked for weird stuff by men trying to book in. Its awful and at times distressing.
The term masseuse is not really used by massage therapists its sounds seedy.
I do not believe for one second that this hapoens to your dh at legit places.
And you dont need to book a sports massage or physio so you aren't offered extras ffs that is really insulting.

Well, in your example they did, and that's what I replied to. In reality, who knows?

"at legit places"...if it wasn't so outing I'd send you all a link to the place so you could tell us exactly where we've missed all the bits between the lines!

Most men would not feel upset if a woman offered to wank/suck them off.They’d feel flattered or tempted probably

yes, because all men are absolutely stupid idiots who think prostitutes are actually attracted to them and it's flattering.

What an attitude to have in life 😂

Yeh I was about to reply but just decided to ignore it in the end 🤣

Just asking for a friend?

Also saying that soneone who only offers massage is more likely to be a sex worker is absolute bollocks ffs.
By legit places I mean gyms spas etc the places you say op its happening at.

I'm not denying it ever happens, but "coming to me distressed"?

If I were a masseur, I wouldn't offer an extra without a signal from the client.
If I were the client being offered an extra, I'd ask what they meant? If they spell it out as sex, which they wouldn't, that's soliciting and against the law.

He's either a very dopey bloke or he's looking for it.

But you’ve said it’s multiple places - in fact every place he’s ever been, unless you yourself booked it. Would the specific therapist necessarily know who made the booking so you think? Because I don’t, but your husband does!

You also talk about the places your husband walks into when he passes them on the street. So no booking or pre planning or checking how ‘legit’ they are at all.

How many different establishments would you say your DH has visited, would you guess, before ever considering booking with a session with a physiotherapist ?

Stop calling us masseurs we are massage therapists.

I think it's really quite hard to tell. And all of the "it's obvious if you look for xyz" have confirmed to me that we're just naive.
Go on punters for a minute and you'll see. Thank you again PP for posting it.
It's a nice balance against all of the "DH is delusional/spinning a mad web of lies/likes winding you up" posts.

@OrangeChips1 so is your dh reporting these places to the police? Or is he just pulling the wool over your eyes as to the type of place he’s choosing to go? Ps just a warning these threads always attract certain types of trolls/ people with weird fetishes.

This. I don't believe this has happened to the OP's husband for one second.

Didnt know it was reportable, just thought he was being naive.

Thanks for the warning! 🙈🙈🙈🙈

Honestly, the police won't care.

You didn’t know it was reportable if you experience sexual harassment while in a vulnerable position as a client at a registered and “legit” place of business..?

Really?

Absolutely never heard of this, neither has my husband! I mean does he ask what the “extras” are? Maybe they just mean legs or head and neck or something and he’s assuming sexual favours based on stereotypes.

I mean, they offered, he said no, and that was the end of that. I'd class harassment as they did it anyway.

No but any “legitimate” place of business should absolutely be taking seriously any reports of sexual harassment from their staff towards their clients.

Yeh I think if it's really obvious and we just missed a cue they'd just laugh (internally?)

Seeing as there’s a big issue with trafficked women (or otherwise exploited ) working in masseuse parlours, yes they do care. Sometimes we have to look out for other women who aren’t in a position to seek help themselves.

No - if they did anyway having been told no that’s called sexual assault. What I described is absolutely harassment.