Is it normal for a masseur to offer "extras"?

[OrangeChips1]

My DH has a job which takes it's toll on his back so he gets occasional massages to try and straighten the knots out. I do give it a go but I can't get deep enough.

More often than not, it gets to the end of the massage and he's offered "extras" which really freaks him out. These are legit places in spas or gyms or on the high street with staff wearing uniforms etc.
We've noticed that when I've booked them on his behalf (as a gift or whatever) this doesn't happen.

Is it just the done thing and we're both naive about this? I never get offered any extras so I was always of the belief that a massage was a massage unless you go to a certain type of place 🤷🙈

YABU = you're naive
YANBU = that sounds like unusually bad luck

Exactly. Proper sports massage is probably the least sexual experience ever

Yeah, the elbow method - the massage therapist putting her elbow on the exact sore bit and leaning in, while you try to breathe out & relax. Or her thumb, or that scalpel like thing. I had a series of sports massages for a back spasm which would leave me exhausted and a bit spaced out.

It was definitely a thing in Victorian/Edwardian times. There’s even a comedy-drama film based on it. “Hysteria” - I watched it a while ago, there are lots of well-known actors in it. It was very amusing!
https://www.google.com/gasearch?q=hysteria%202011&source=sh/x/gs/m2/5#ebo=0

If this is true, I doubt your husband is that upset about this ! 😆

That's a good idea

That would be totally cringe and would make the staff feel very uncomfortable.

Also a good point 😅
I guess I don't understand why he doesn't just say "no thanks" and move on with life

@ParmaVioletTea see im not sports massage i am deep tissue and do the elbow technique and thumb etc I work from my home and do not offer extras.
Its not a given that not being sports or physio we offer extras its really realky upsetting to hear that so many people seem to think I'm likely to be a sex worker.
I trained for 2 years in massage have done countless add on courses earn a good wage but I say I'm a massage therapist and people think sex worker.

He's had "bad " experience when having booked a male physio for a massage? Bad as in being offered extras?

you need to go to a prper sports therapist not a shop in the high street alot of them arent legit even if its just for tax purposes

Because it didn't happen.

I could just about believe that it may have happened once. Even reputable establishments are not immune from the occasional bad egg. It certainly isn't happening to him 'more often than not'.

Although if it were happening it's not then yes, I could understand why someone WOULD be upset. I doubt I'd be able to just say no thanks and 'move on with life' if I were being repeatedly offered sexual services in a small, intimate, professional space where I was vulnerable and in a state of undress.

Sure as fuck wouldn't be going back there again though.

I knew two guys, both working professionals. They had both been offered the "secret" menu at the end too. "Body on body" aka no clothes. Hand jobs.

Think about it - 75% to 85% of men would probably accept. To them it's just another income stream. Most men are porn-addled in the brain. Most would love this surprise.

A "spa" has opened at the end of the road where I used to live, but it looks dodgy and seedy. It's usually clear what kind of massages they offer. I would not be happy having such an establishment on my street.

I can understand it happening once even twice but then you realise you have to book with professional establishments, and it's not that hard to find "proper" sports physios, It's just not.
Your husband is not that innocent.

Depends what floats your boat. I had a full on Swedish massage once (in a chain spa) from a woman who looked rather like Brigitte Nielsen - very tall and strong, and bloody hell it hurt - leg muscles were tight as I was doing marathon training, but it felt amazing after, I floated all the way home. It wasn't sexual at all but some people might get off on that kind of thing!

This!

Prostitution knocking shops are much more common than we all think, running under the impression of being a normal business, often on the high street or local side-street. But they're not. Your DH has stumbled across a punting shop.

We have three in our local area, all running under the guise of "Massage, beauty, therapy" (all Asian/Thai style). They have white net curtains that are almost grey and block out any view of the inside...

I've seen men knocking on the door to go in, trying the handle, sometimes it's closed. They don't look like they'll be getting beauty and therapy, so it's almost certainly 'massage'.

A local friend tipped me off and now If I'm waiting at the lights to change at any one of them, I give anyone waiting outside, a good long stare...

What did his wife say/do? Did she ever go back??

Did he?

Maybe it does happen in spas and gyms but I imagine it's rare. It would be quite risky for the therapist. Although saying that, being a massage therapist at a spa is incredibly hard work and most of them end up injured and unable to work ...so maybe they think they don't have much to lose.

I used to be a part time massage therapist and started working through Treatwell. They changed their terms and conditions and weren't worth using and I ended up giving it up because my google listing only attracted creepy men. I have always wondered how much they expected to pay but it would have to be thousands because hand jobs are awful at the best of times. There was a brothel nearby pretending to be a massage establishment but it was very obvious what it was.

And OP, if you go to a reputable physio, there's no way this would happen.

Your DH is a fool. Sorry but he really is. He'll never get to the bottom of what's wrong.

Modern physio doesn't focus on massage these days, not really.

It's all about strenghtening the weak areas that are causing an imbalance and stretching out tight areas but you can do it yourself. Physio massage is temporary relief to get you out of a tight spot, not long term.

He should get up to date with the real world and move onto proper therapy that may well cure him if he does the exercises correctly and committedly, long-term.

I am stunned by the amount of naive women there are on this site. This is definitely a thing because I know someone who got a happy ending from a Thai masseuse in a massage parlour literally around the corner from me! He had absolutely no reason to lie.

Apparently, they purposefully work their way up the thigh near the crotch area towards the end of the massage and can clearly see if the man is aroused. That's when they ask. He said it cost fifty quid, massage included!

Does he clarify what the extras are? Could be neck massage or heat pack or something more clinical? 😂

Well it does depend what type of 'massage parlour' you go to. Years ago I lived in a flat above a 'massage parlour' that was very clearly a brothel. But it's not a thing in high end gyms or beauty salons, which is where I'd go for a massage. Anywhere that does walk-ins probably isn't much good (from a massage quality perspective!) and more likely to be dodgy.