to think brides need to issue rules about what people are allowed to wear?

[SnoozingFox]

No white
Nothing with even a HINT of white/cream
No pale colours which in a certain light might look white
No lace
No red
No black

etc etc etc. Is this the new normal as it certainly wasn't when I got married, none of the weddings I have been to were we ever asked to run outfits past the bride before the event.

Madness.

People are well aware of what is appropriate to wear to a wedding.

I can assure you I had NO idea wearing red signalled you were shagging the groom.

I just find it so rude that there’s a mandate on what colour guests should wear and no pattern. Just bizarre.

Do you know, I couldn't tell you what people wore at my wedding. I know they looked lovely, but I would have to go look at the album to have any clue about colour and style.
I'm not sure why it's so important to organise things down to how the photos will look.

Totally agree.

Chuckling as my ex-step-mil wore a pillar-box red suit to my first wedding!
I don't think she was ex-fils bit on the side...

A friend who was a nurse in WW2 completely took the no red/white together rule seriously. No flowers in red and white together, ever. Red tablecloth and napkins, or vice versa, similarly forbidden. She would say 'it's blood on bandages'. I think she and her colleagues saw some horrors in wartime that us younger ones (I'm 20 or so years younger than her) simply can't imagine.

My mother taught me that but only in relation to flowers. I would never put red and white flowers together in a vase. My mother always said white for death / red for blood.

@RosesAndHellebores I do that too. Then I think of my grandfather who supported a football team with red and white home strips/colours. Every floral arrangement for his funeral was red and white!

You’ll have to save your pearl clutching for someone who gives a shit. 😂

Has no one else ever had a wedding invitation with morning suits as the dress code? It certainly used to be normal to have that as the dress code.

I also thought it was just normal wedding etiquette not to wear black or white.

Goodness other than not wearing white there aren’t any rules, other than to dress appropriately for the occasion (meaning no shorts, jeans etc).

I agree OP. I've never been to a wedding where the bride cared a fig about what any of the guests were wearing. I didn't care what anyone wore to my wedding - my MIL wore a cream dress, and I wore cream. I believe my DM wore an off-white dress to my friend's wedding. I can't be bothered with all this old fashioned nonsense about what you can and can't wear either (I'm nearly 66 btw).

Why should people have to buy a new outfit when they might well have something they can wear already but it doesn't suit the bridezilla? Anyone demanding that I wear their choice to a wedding would be getting a decline response to the invitation.

I know someone who asked what the colour scheme was in order to avoid wearing anything in the scheme. Sensible.

Bride refused to say as it was top secret.

Guess what colour my friend wore? Bride didnt speak to her all day and then basically cut her off!

Marriage didnt last.....

What's TAAT?

It's quite a new trend, but it's not actually important.

Bridezillas are well documented, less so the Guestzillas who cannot get it through their heads that they don't have any say at all in anything the bride and groom want for their wedding.

If the bride says "Don't wear that" and it pisses you off, don't go. Sorted. No need for any drama.

Well, no, they are not well aware of what is appropriate to wear to a wedding, otherwise there would not be countless posters on S & B threads telling each other white, off-white, white with tiny flowers, etc etc is fine to wear to a wedding.

Yes, this is quite correct. When I said it's quite a new trend, I meant the brides asking for photos of attire or checking on people's intended wear personally.

But yes, you are quite correct, wedding invitations have often stated the sort of dress required and yes women have always been well aware that you don't wear white to a wedding.

There's always one pretending not to get it though.

Indian wedding maybe. Traditionally the bride wears red. That was one time I was given instructions (No black, no white, no red and legs and head covered) on what to wear and I think that's fair enough, I had never been in a Gurdwara before and if I hadn't been told I would ask.

Oh and if you have ever had an invite to a royal wedding the dress code, for men, is on the invite. So it isn't new.

I don’t think having a dress code means that you’re controlling. I’ve been to several weddings and there has been a dress code or a colour scheme and it made a lot easier for me to decide what to wear.

I have only heard of the 'black' rule because at the wedding of a pretentious bride whose family were even worse snobs, my SIL was told off for wearing black by the MOB and the bride's aunts. They waited to corner her by herself. Now that was rude.

But supposing the colour scheme didn’t suit you? Or you didn’t have an outfit in the colour and didn’t intend to buy new for the wedding?

Yeah I’m sensing some of the more faux outraged respondents don’t get out much. And if they do they aren’t invited to nice parties. Or at least not ones with dress codes.

I would never have occurred to me to issue rules to the guests about what to wear or not wear. How bizarre.

Tell me you don’t get out much, without telling me you don’t get out much.

Tell me you were a demanding bridezilla who was one of “those” brides who went as far as dictating a colour, with telling me that.