Is this an awful wedding guest dress?!

[Bumblingbee101]

Looking for opinions! I'm a mum of 2 little children and rarely go to events anymore, both children under 4, size 14-16, 5.3 and wanted something that hid my legs and tops of arms and skimmed over tummy so that I felt slightly more comfortable. I've always had reasonable success with Monsoon dresses and found this in the sale. I've been told by brides friends to all send photos of our outfits (unsure why!) And that I cannot wear this and will upstage her. I asked if it was anything like her dress and they said not even remotely close! I read all the reviews before purchasing and most have worn this dress as a wedding guest! Is it my poor taste?!

I’d send her a photo of something non bridal/different colour from bridesmaids/a bit plain and boring. Get it approved. Then turn up in a fucking massive silver sequin ball gown. Or leather bondage gear. I would be very very pissed off about having my outfit vetted. In the real world, as opposed to my fantasy world, I just wouldn’t go. Because, etiquette aside, this is a bridge too far and I absolutely hate being told what to do.

OP does the bride know her friends are being so rude to you? If so I wouldn't bother going to the wedding.

Otherwise I would just wear this dress, it's lovely and doesn't look bridal to most of the people responding to the thread. Don't buy two dresses to attend the wedding of someone who is rude enough to disrespect their guests like this.

Looks lovely to me, a bit retro, and nothing like any bridal or bridesmaid's dresses I've ever come across. Who is it you'd be showing up again? The bride, or maybe the bride's friend? Maybe check in with the bride that she really wanted her friends doing this, because it's a pretty weird thing to do.

I’m really interested to know how @alwaysamused KNOWS the OP is lying! How can someone know that? I mean, they can believe that if they want. But how can they assert that their opinion about what someone else thinks is a fact.? It’s an opinion, surely. Which is different from a fact. What evidence is there to support this irrefutable fact I wonder..?

@Bumblingbee101 I think (opinion, not fact, by the way!) it does look potentially a bit bridesmaidy. But if there are reviews saying lots of people have worn this dress as a guest then arguably many people don’t share that opinion. I think it’s very pretty. Doubtful you would upstage the bride in it. Sounds like her look will be very different. I don’t understand why the friends get to veto though. I mean, I could maybe understand a very bridezilla bride wanting to veto outfits (though obviously that is way over the top!) but as for the friends getting a veto….did she ask them to do this for her? Why would they think they get to decide what someone wears to someone else’s wedding?! How very odd! And if you went on the hen do, then surely you are a close friend or relative of the bride as well. Why do they get to decide and not you?

If it were me I would be tempted to contact the bride myself and ask if she has a problem with the dress. I wouldn’t give two shiny shits what the friends thought!

It completely depends on the vibe of the wedding.. the length in the other photos gives it the appearance of a gown, and in a more casual wedding it might feel too much; purely due to the length and flowiness.

Was there no dress code on the invite?

If someone asked me to send a picture of my wedding outfit I would reply that I’d be yanking something out of the wardrobe on the day so couldn’t predict it.

what absolute rubbish from the bride/ friends.

ignore them.

Monsoon targets bridal parties its likely similar to bridesmaid dresses.

If you're anything like me (we're similar size/height) it's hard enough to find something you feel comfortable in without needing permission to wear it! Unless the brides friend is going shopping for you to find something I'd suggest she keeps her nose out!

That is a great shout, I wore a navy wide legged jumpsuit from Next to a day wedding and got lots of compliments in it, only problem was I couldn’t undo it myself to go for a wee as the zip was awkward 🤦‍♀️

If she is dishing out orders to her flying monkeys that's even worse

I’d personally ask for the dress parameters (tongue in cheek) and take it from there. Have they told you what the actual issue with the dress is? That’s the first port of call (ignoring the fact that it is utterly ridiculous to police others outfits)

This is the big problem with jumpsuits! I have 4 now (obsessive 🤣 I’m looking for a plain black one currently!), all of which are ease off, ease on. I bought one and the zip was up the back. I could just about manage it, but tbh, I have seconds to go to the loo at work (teacher) so sold it.

I find them extremely flattering. I was likened to Lady Penelope (🤔 not sure if that’s a compliment!) when I wore the pink one this week.

@EmilyEmerald this is lovely where is it from please?!

Thanks all I've found the link for the pink dress thanks @EmilyEmerald!
I really appreciate everyone's comments. I would be very surprised if it's come from the bride as she seems lovely but has lots of cash to splash hence the designer gown. Maid of honour was very controlling at the hen party but I would rather not message and ask I think I'll order a few others and decide 😀
And for the poster who keeps banging on about me wanting to be centre of attention and how I'm clearly clueless - if you knew me I hate being centre of attention I wanted something that hides my post partum body and thought this would fit the bill!

Oh, are your comprehension skills lacking? Ok, I will try to make it simple.

A batshit person stated that she thought I must be the bride to be because I said something that enraged her. In return I pointed out that projection is a very real thing and therefore I now know that she in fact has a personal interest in this thread.

Projection, hmm, how to explain this clearly to someone whose English is limited? Projection is when you see someone doing or saying something and you then displace - that is push - your own feelings and behaviours onto that person.

So, in this case I suggested that the batshit responder thought I must be the bride to be because SHE herself is personally involved in this scenario and is pretending to be someone she is not. She believes that other people behave like this because SHE herself behaves like this.

Is that clear enough for you?

To add another layer that might be hard for you to comprehend, I did not actually think the batshit responder WAS the OP. And she did not actually believe for a second I was the bride to be. She was enraged and using the sort of childish argument people use when they have nothing useful to add.

HTH.

There were quite a few posters who pointed this out to you, but if you mean me I am glad you have decided not to just ignore what the bride wants and create drama for no reason. Excellent choice.

There's no more for me to add, so won't bother checking for any more hysterical responses 😅

Glad the OP chose to do the right thing and stop pretending she didn't get it.

Is it the length maybe? I mean I'm a 60 yo man so I've never worn a dress, I think that dress would look really nice if the skirt was 3/4 length and quite full and pleated, I know it's pleated already, I just mean if it was shorter it would suit more pleats.

I've worked a few weddings in the last few years - this doesn't seem to be the case now. There were plenty of maxi dresses at most of them.

There is a difference between maxi and full length IMO. Full length where the dress is just mm from the floor like this dress says evening dress or bridesmaid to me. Monsoon describes it as an evening dress. A maxi day dress would be fine but a full length evening dress is a bit much for a wedding guest (assuming it isn’t a black tie wedding).

This dress is beautiful and perfect for a wedding . Wear it and have a great time

I don’t think it looks bridal, but it could be mistaken for a bridesmaid’s dress and if the bridesmaids will be wearing pale blue it could look as if the OP is trying to make a point.

More and more people seem to wear long dresses at weddings these days. It’s not a trend I like. I accept I’m old fashioned but I don’t think anyone except the bride and bridesmaids should wear long dresses (unless there is a dress code that specifies evening wear).

The bridesmaids are wearing pink and green.

The more I hear about trying to control what guests wear to weddings (colours/styles/themes), the more I'm convinced that these brides are vulgar and have no manners at all.

Are people really going to read that much into what any of the guests are wearing? Personally I doubt it...

How patronising can you get?! I am so glad I don’t have to have anything more to do with you. You don’t sound very nice. And before you jump back and say it, I’m not nice either, at least on this post!