To ask if I’m eating enough? **PLEASE READ OP'S RECENT POSTS BEFORE RESPONDING** Title edited by MNHQ

[mummytoonetryingfortwo]

I posted in the week about my husband being against me continuing to exercise, as I am pregnant with twins. We moved past that (I thought) after agreeing that I would stop running, start swimming and doing pregnancy specific workouts such as yoga and Pilates. We clashed on this because I had a bleed, just before I found out I was pregnant, and because it took us a long time to conceive.

My first pregnancy, I was young and at university, I was very unhealthy in my diet and gained a lot of weight, which I started to lose when my daughter was about 6 months old. Since then, I’ve been very responsible with my diet and activity. I’ve always focussed on fuelling myself properly and keeping active.

My husband is now concerned that I am not eating enough. My normal day of eating will look something like this:

Breakfast - full fat Greek yoghurt, berries, nuts, a small amount of honey, and chia seeds OR wholemeal sourdough toast (from a bakery, not the supermarket), avocado, scrambled eggs (made with real butter) and tomatoes on the side.

Lunch - some combination of a lean protein, vegetables and a carb. Rice, salmon and a salad with a soy sauce dressing has been something I’ve been craving lately.

Dinner - again, a protein, vegetables and a carb. We tend to cycle through steaks, chicken, lots of charred greens, rice or pasta.

Snacks - I have made a concerted effort to add more snacks because of the fact I’m pregnant. I’ll have veggies with hummus, celery sticks or apple with peanut butter, sometimes some chocolate or just fruit, but not that often.

I’ve counted calories for the last three days to show him I’m eating, and I’m hitting about 1800 to 2000 calories a day. He thinks this isn’t enough, and that I’ll be losing weight. Is this enough?

Tracking micros and macros.
What the hell is that never heard of it before.
How can 8.5 stone be fat. Sounds like you are very obsessed with your food intake worrying about it all the time and putting this on to your daughter too.

I was fat. I had gone up to a size 10, normally I am at a size 6.

And thst something he wants to control is your body? Lots of other things to get ready for a baby he could entirely be in control of…

He was the one who liked me at my most athletic, so I don’t think he can turn around now and ask me to gain weight.

@mummytoonetryingfortwo Well he can ask you to gain weight if he likes! You’re growing your/his babies so he’s going to be concerned. I think you’ve got an eating disorder to be honest.

I’m at a healthy weight.

I think as long as your not feeling hungry and skipping meals then your fine. Just eat as normal and eat extra when you are hungry. I didnt really have an increased appetite until around the 3 month stage.

Are you taking pregnacare vitamins? They will make sure you have the vitamins you need.

It sounds like you have an eating disorder the more you post and your husband is concerned but you're painting him as controlling

If you ate a large cauliflower for every meal, you wouldn’t ‘feel hungry by the end of the day’ But you’d be well short on calories! You clearly have eating issues.

You’re not eating enough calories; you refuse to admit it; you ignore evidence that shows your not eating enough - you really need to eat more, and seek support from your midwife if you’re finding that hard psychologically.

FWIW I'm 29 weeks with twins and I found from 8 weeks I basically had to eat what I fancied because I was sick and tired. I needed to eat what I kept down whether that was gallons of apple juice from concentrate or fruit

A size 10 is not fat.

You are bordering on underweight. You have calculated your baseline TDEE but won't follow it because it would mean eating more. You are obsessive about having a "healthy" diet. You've been provided with evidence that twin pregnancies require you to eat more, but you won't accept it. You have an eating disorder and are likely setting your daughter up to develop one too.

I can't say whether your husband is controlling, it does sound like he has encouraged your rigid approach to food and exercise in the past, but you need professional support around food and weight.

This is what I now suspect too. I’d initially skimmed over the exercise bit in the OP, but re-reading that sounds extreme too, especially for a twin pregnancy. The strict diet is disturbing too, and whatever the husband is like as a person, he’s right about the OP not eating enough.

It’s actually quite concerning.

Your BMI is 19 which is low. Very low. The fact that you needed to gain weight to help you conceive?

Agree with both posters here.

OP please talk to your midwife about this, she can help.

I think it’s vile that a lot of you are seeking to diagnose me with a serious mental illness because I am careful about my diet and health.

19 is a healthy BMI.

Then eat enough calories! Your babies need calories, but you can’t drag yourself away from your concerns about ‘being fat’ at Size 10. You can help yourself and your babies, if you’re able, but if you’re not, then please, please get support. Not just for your babies but for yourself.

She does, she’s 5’4”

op, as long as you’re gaining weight and you feel fine, then carry on doing as you are. I’m really concerned though about your husband, especially when you said he didn’t do what he did just for you to lose them. He’s got red flags all over him.

But you are pregnant with twins you will gain a lot of weight. You seem to be more worried about putting on weight than the health of your babies. Why would anyone restrict their diet when pregnant.

Just about - but if you're pregnant you need to be gaining weight, not maintaining on a borderline underweight BMI. If you're only maintaining your weight then you simply aren't eating enough.

Wow, yep you need to eat more.

Well though luck.
Until babies are born you are in sole control of your body.

On another note, even if you eat less than needed your body will use all it gets to feed the baby. So unless you are on a brink of starvation you will have enough to maintain pregnancy.
That being said, ina such situation YOU will end up with significant nutritient deficit and could have health problems. But that would be extreme case.
Too bad he is more concerned about not even born babies than you though.

She’s 8 stone, pregnant with twins, eating a restricted diet, and saying Size 10 is fat. I’m shorter than her, not pregnant, slim, and eat more calories than her. All her meals sound like diet meals. She needs 100s of extra calories per baby (see my earlier link).

You’re fine. I wouldn’t advise going hungry but you don’t actually need to increase your calories until the 3rd trimester and even then it’s only something like 200 calories (maybe more for twins).
If your husband is concerned you could ask your midwife for some information about healthy eating in pregnancy that you can show him

I'm always wary to comment on these threads. We can't really say it's enough food or not, we don't know your portion sizes, we don't know your height or activity levels. None of us can say if you're fueling yourself or your babies correctly. When I had an eating disorder i routinely used threads like these, and deliberately gave vague or misleading info in order to justify my actions. I'm not saying this is you at all, but it's another reason I'm wary.
Your midwife can talk you through things such as expected weight gain with twins and id you need to increase cals. My understanding was it's only in the last trimester but maybe with twins it's sooner.
I wish you all the best with your babies ❤️