To ask if I’m eating enough? **PLEASE READ OP'S RECENT POSTS BEFORE RESPONDING** Title edited by MNHQ

[mummytoonetryingfortwo]

I posted in the week about my husband being against me continuing to exercise, as I am pregnant with twins. We moved past that (I thought) after agreeing that I would stop running, start swimming and doing pregnancy specific workouts such as yoga and Pilates. We clashed on this because I had a bleed, just before I found out I was pregnant, and because it took us a long time to conceive.

My first pregnancy, I was young and at university, I was very unhealthy in my diet and gained a lot of weight, which I started to lose when my daughter was about 6 months old. Since then, I’ve been very responsible with my diet and activity. I’ve always focussed on fuelling myself properly and keeping active.

My husband is now concerned that I am not eating enough. My normal day of eating will look something like this:

Breakfast - full fat Greek yoghurt, berries, nuts, a small amount of honey, and chia seeds OR wholemeal sourdough toast (from a bakery, not the supermarket), avocado, scrambled eggs (made with real butter) and tomatoes on the side.

Lunch - some combination of a lean protein, vegetables and a carb. Rice, salmon and a salad with a soy sauce dressing has been something I’ve been craving lately.

Dinner - again, a protein, vegetables and a carb. We tend to cycle through steaks, chicken, lots of charred greens, rice or pasta.

Snacks - I have made a concerted effort to add more snacks because of the fact I’m pregnant. I’ll have veggies with hummus, celery sticks or apple with peanut butter, sometimes some chocolate or just fruit, but not that often.

I’ve counted calories for the last three days to show him I’m eating, and I’m hitting about 1800 to 2000 calories a day. He thinks this isn’t enough, and that I’ll be losing weight. Is this enough?

I’m hitting probably 120g of protein a day, macros and micros all look good according to the last three days of tracking

It sounds like fine in the early stages you don’t need to eat more than normal and you should be able to tell if you are losing weight

however you need to have a good talk because stress hormones won’t be good

I would seek some professional guidance get a clear plan set out taking into your twin pregnancy because I think that might help. I think your husband concern given you were losing weight at 8 stone before this is a valid but also I can see the psychological impact for you.

get a proper diet plan sorted

I think this is really weird. Modelling good/bad foods to your young daughter is not helpful.

I was losing weight as I had gained more than intended (I had purposely put some on to see if it would help us to conceive) and needed to drop half a stone or so.

I’m trying to teach her that daily UPF/junk isn’t healthy - because it isn’t.

Tracking micros and macros when pregnant is OTT. This sounds like orthorexia verging on an eating disorder.

I’ve tracked everyday since my daughter was 6 months, I like to keep an eye on my diet. Now I’m pregnant it’s especially important to me to make sure the babies are getting what they need

But she is only doing this to appease her nutjob controlling husband 🤷‍♀️

Why were you intentionally losing weight when you are already on the borderline between healthy BMI and underweight? Your attitude to food does sound disordered to me, to be honest, and you seem extremely resistant to the idea that you might need to eat more to support the growth of two babies.

Because I had hit eight and a half stone, looked and felt fat.

Nope, sorry if I worded it funny. I track everyday. Always have, likely always will.

When I was pregnant with twins just ate the same as I always had

It’s an amazing diet. You must be a millionaire

How many weeks are you sorry?

I had twins and had horrible MS for the first 20+ weeks so did not eat nutritionally well at all. I then remember massively feeling the need to up my calorie and nutrition uptake in the second trimester. Listening to your body is the key. Think about upping nutrition not counting calories and macros.

Things I would try and remember

• you are building two sets of skeletons and two sets of teeth, so try and massively up your dairy/calcium intake. It will save your own bones/teeth in the long run.
• twin pregnancy tiredness, when it hits (and it will) is INSANE. My doctor friend told me to eat as much steak and iron rich food as I can. You are presumably also growing two placentas. (She also advised forget all the guidance about not eating rare cooked steak, and just eat good quality meat how you like it)
• you’re growing two brains, so oily fish. Also helps when your ligaments start loosening in later pregnancy.
• twins are at risk of being born early. And there’s very little you can do to prevent tthat. But if they are then every ounce of birth weight is critical to their ability to stay alive and get healthy. Mine were small, but we got lucky. I can promise you if you are sitting next to two incubators you will not care how many stones you gained In pregnancy or worries about ‘bouncing back’

Ten and a half weeks now :)

Your diet sounds like it’s full of healthy foods, but, you are towards the lower end of BMI for your height, so make sure your portions are big enough and please don’t worry about things such as apple crumble which, if home made, is a pretty healthy desert. There is a line at which healthy eating can move into authorexia.

Might be an idea to speak with the health professionals monitoring your pregnancy.

Ha, we are high earners, but even when we were both starting out in the workforce I prioritised diet over almost everything else. We only get one body and I want to look after mine

There is no way at 5 foot 4 that you were fat at 8.5 stone. I don't mean to be unkind but I genuinely feel your attitude to food and your weight isn't healthy. When you say you're tracking macros etc, is that in relation to allowances that actually take into account you're pregnant with twins? I would definitely suggest having a chat to your midwife about this, to see if you can get a referral to a dietitian perhaps.

You are modelling an eating disorder to a young child and restricting your calorie intake when pregnant with twins. I hope you get professional help.

You can only eat what you can eat.

Plenty of people couldn't eat that amount pregnant or not, and plenty of others could eat more.

We're all different so there's no point in the OP beating herself up as they're only 'one size fits all' guidelines anyway.

And pregnant women are not all the same.

To be honest, it is a bit of a concern that you felt like that at a weight which for your height is still at the lower end of healthy BMI.

That sounds like a nutritious diet and your twins will develop well
your DH is Controlling He is not carrying 2 babies who will be squashing his stomach
I found as mine got bigger, I could only eat smaller meals before awful heartburn set in.. and I only had one at a time

Oh and I gained 3 stone each time as I was only 8 stone at 5ft 5 before I conceived

You’re 5 foot 4 and only 8 stone, you were trying to lose weight before you got pregnant. I think you need to ask yourself honestly if you have an issue here. Is your husband reacting to the fact that you’re controlling around food and verging on disordered eating?