Is sending me money a red flag?

[Kenyaparks]

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

I watched a couple of episodes of Love Rats yesterday. Every single woman looking for love online should watch it, it's shocking and very enlightening.

And both of you are showing red flags, block him!

So you ‘jokingly’ asked him for money which he took seriously. He then wouldn’t accept it back.

So you decided to keep ‘jokingly’ asking him for more.

Right you are, hen.

He may or may not be a 🚩but you should come with neon flashing warning signs above your head.

@Kenyaparks sometimes controlling men have no qualms offering up money. The fact he keeps asking for details of your apartment when you’ve not met is a red flag. I get that you’re young and maybe playfully was moaning about coffee prices but the fact he didn’t think it was a joke and just sent it and is offering to pay for your flight, doesn’t want you in a hotel etc. It’s all too much red flags, too intense, too much confidence in wanting to know and control aspects which are nothing to do with him yet like you’ve not even met/agreed to a relationship. You say he’s just got out of a fairly LT relationship so there’s possible rebound issues in the mix also.

Would be a no for me. Do not need any of that at tender age of 24 imho!

You shouldn’t be asking for money that’s so shitty from you it’s not a joke if you kept asking for more

Stop asking for money and mentioning things you want. Problem solved.

It's a red flag that you're "jokingly" asking him for money which you accept, then asking him for more money and then suggesting he buy you a watch. It's possible he's kind-hearted and lonely. It's also possible he's giving you money because he's expecting sex in return.
Frankly, you're coming across as a user. Earn your own money and have some self-respect.

The red flag here is you asking him for money. Not him sending you money

The women on Love Rats were all very naive. No way would I have ever fallen for these men! I keep myself informed.

Are you looking for a sugar daddy your own age? no decent person asks for money ' jokingly' like this.

What do you think he will ultimately want for his investment?

Have a think about your behaviour

It's more of a red flag that you 'jokingly' keep asking for money. Mind games have no part in a healthy relationship, it may be time to grow up.

I've watched a few of those netflix programmes ( watch them) where women get scammed. Reading your op makes me think of those.programmes. Remote relationship, sends money to lure you in then some time later he needs money and you reciprocate and he then starts to fleece you. Don't have anything to do with money either giving or receiving and be very very wary emotionally.

You OP are the red flag. Reverse the roles and think about it.

The only person I would send money to is my husband.
I certainly wouldn't send money to a bloke I'd never met.

Why would you ask home for coffee money? Why are you “joking”
You sound immature

Lol, is that on your list of things that are red flags?

'I hung up on him to say chicken, and he pointed out that that might have been easier to say in a txt'... but I considered that disrespectful.

That's a subterranean level of low for the red flag bar.

Lol, you've got an answer for everything OP 🤣

You "joked" about it then "joked" you needed more... oooookay. I don't think he's the red flag...

You asking for money is a red flag.

It's surely not a joke when you send him your bank details?!

The red flag here is that he’s a romance scammer and is playing the long game.He’s sending you small amounts of money to soften you up, to ensure you think he’s a kind and generous man. Further down the line, he’ll be the one asking for money, probably a sick relative with no medical insurance, or a family member stranded somewhere overseas with no money to get out.

Be wary. You don’t know him.

@Wonderberry
She didn’t send him her bank details.

Some men love this. If it makes him happy to buy you things, what’s the problem?

Refreshing to hear of a man who knows how to treat a love interest tbh. Rare on here

Red flag

Keep this one at arms length

If he was able to refuse to take it back, you could and should have refused to accept it in the first place. If it was a joke, it wasn’t funny.