Is sending me money a red flag?

[Kenyaparks]

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

I Don’t think they did bank transfers in the 70’s. 🤣

You’re the red flag OP - who asks for money as a “joke”.

That’s why I’m asking - the whole thing seems like a load of nonsense
They're catfishing each other

Please be careful. You need to speak to someone about this in real life. You say he is an attractive 28 year old footballer and clearly have hope of where this might go. Whether this is or isn’t who he is, you don’t know this man. And the asking and accepting of money is not a healthy dynamic when you barely know someone. You say you have since spoken but none of the potential dangers here evaporate because of that. Someone close to you needs to know what you are doing.

Rather a parade of waving red flags.

I know!!! She said she was joking when asking him for money but then said he sent it to her. Though later says that it was sent through a money app. Nonetheless she asked, he sent, she said she was joking but did the same twice more. 🤷‍♀️

Assume you're in the states - your banking system is backward which is why you have to use cash apps instead of secure online banking - just saying

You are the red flag. Total user.

I thought you said he was 24?

She’s put years on him in a few short weeks.

If you’re going to put a price/value on yourself I suggest that the cost of a cup of coffee or a watch probably doesn’t convey that you value yourself very highly.

He used to play professional football

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but it's highly unlikely a gorgeous 20-something footballer has now resorted to sending random women money on the internet.

Obviously it was a joke. Didnt you readthe post? And this man took it seriously

Yeah she said it was a joke. What’s funny about asking someone for money, repeatedly?

Ecactly

you asking him for money. Red flag. Him sending you (relatively small) amounts of money. Red flag. Not to be judgemental but have you seen any of the (many) documentaries about the tactics used by 'romance con artists', not sure that is the right term, but it sounds like you have.. (and not to say that you are vulnerable (i have no idea of your circumstances!) but this seems suspicious, and to be 'hunting' from somewhere far away seems dodgy...

Sorry OP, this is some version of love bombing and controlling behavior. You haven't even met and this seems like a very exhausting relationship already. Jump out before it's too late

Walk away from this situation now because there's a few ways in which this could go and none of it good!
A) if it turns out he's got any sort of vulnerabilities and anyone around him finds out about you asking him for money three times, you could find yourself with the police at your door for exploiting him for money!
B) you could be signing yourself up for a stalker when you move to the same state as him and you don't want that kind of shit storm to deal with especially if it can be as difficult as it is in the UK to get it stopped.
C) you could be getting in a relationship with someone that's controling, coercive, thinks he owns you and again that's not a great of safe way to live!

I think your the red flag...you said it half jokingly to test the waters I think.

Please seek help in real life you are talking to a weirdo but seem to think all of this is absolutely fine !

creepily demanding to know your apartment location and who you are texting ie creepy as fuck

you sound very vulnerable

Why are people so free to give their information to others, whether they know them or not.

Yesterday I phoned my bank to make a transfer to the account for a purchase I made at auction. If you haven't dealt with a company before, you have to speak to a live person.

It took a good 10 mins to get through to speak to someone, as you cannot make bank transfers to a company you have not used before. It was another 40 minutes to actually make the transfer.

The bank wanted to know so much information about the company I was paying, even though it was not an unknown company, and I was questioned about whether the company is likely to use my info in the future. I had to answer so many questions and give details of the invoice.

Banks are very careful now of transactions we make because of the risk of fraud. It was the first time I had made a bank transfer and it will be the last.

The whole story seems fake!

Absolutely! I feel this girl is very vulnerable and fallen for a scammer or worse. No way should she tell him her address. Hopefully we won’t be reading all this in some news articles in a few months. Please stay clear

This exactly 🙌🏼