Is sending me money a red flag?

[Kenyaparks]

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

Perhaps an orange flag. He may be sending you money to make you think he is wealthy. It could be the opposite. For him it could be an 'investment' or 'reeling you in'.

If he is, most likely he will be borrowing from you in a couple of months.

Avoid him.

Why don't you make a search for him? Put his name in google and see what comes up.

You should be able to find out how he lives, where he works, his finances. If you cannot, ask a PI agency to do it for you.

''Beauty fades, dull is forever''

So why does he no longer play? That’s very young to retire.

Agreed!

You have given him your details! WTAF are you on about? Asking for money multiple times as a joke? You are very strange. Hope he sees through soon.

You have basically answered your own question in this thread. You’ve made countless other reasons of weird behaviour he’s done that you are obviously not comfortable in.

A complete waste of time to even entertain a man who’s been out of a long term relationship for 2 months you will be a rebound. Don’t waste your time. Spend your time maturing in your own self to spot these red flags! Having to end a call because he was disrespectful so early on is never going to get better it’ll only get worse.

What kind of a person are you to take money off someone. Sick,sick,sick.

By asking him for money you told him you are a woman who can be bought. You can't complain if that's how he's now treating you.

Maybe when he comes to visit you he might be expecting something more than a cup of coffee if you get my meaning

Maybe when he comes to visit you he might be expecting more than a cup of coffee if you get my meaning

i don’t think you were joking. I have two friends that do this with the person they are dating. They will “jokingly” ask for something or mention how badly they want something but they aren’t really joking. It’s very annoying.

I had a discussion with him and told him that I apologize for asking him and how I don’t want him to think that I’m some gold digger. He said no why would you have to apologize I don’t think any of that.

We also had a talk about his previous relationship I told him that I didn’t want to be a rebound and how I’m not sure if he’s completely healed. He disagreed and told me people heal differently and how he’s not going to sit and dwell on things.

He also is trying to make a trip out here next month ???

We give bank details (sort code and account number) to dozens of people. It’s passwords, PIN and memorable information that we don’t give.

I shall echo what so many posters have said: your “joke” of asking for money is a red flag for him. It wouldn’t even occur to most people to make that so-called joke.

We give dozens of people our bank details all the time. He can’t take money from her.

i have just read all OP’s posts. Bloody weird situation. I’m going to find another thread on cooking economy meals or something… 🤣

The op mentions ‘ state’ . If they are from the U.S., they don’t use bank to bank transfers, they use Venmo, a third party, and your bank details aren’t disclosed to the other money party.

That's my thought too

How awful. Hope it’s not a trend that starts over here

Errr.... i think you are the red flag??

Maybe he never did? It all seems a rather contrived story

Did you actually see him on video, so he was talking to you? Cause was watching different fraud videos, like 'Catfish'. I know in that case they are asking for money, not giving it, but even when a person was real, it was like 'Tindler Swindler', men who was taking money from their girllfriends, promising marriage and disappear after, but giving them everything first.
Anyway, hope yours is all real (just check for obvious signs) and leave the money out, but of course continue when you move to his state. As well promising you a trip is no guarantee... Update us next month if he really came.

I don’t think this post or the comments are gonna go the way you’d hoped OP and unfortunately I agree that you seem to be the red flag. Why would you ask everyone if he seems like a red flag, you asked him for the money and have clearly sent him your details too….

It’s a red flag that you keep ‘jokingly’ asking him to buy you things. Such strange behaviour.