To never invite them again.

[PatrickDog]

We have just come today from a holiday with my parents, me, DS and his girlfriend.

Just to add DS and his girlfriend asked to come and everyone had their own space, they had their own room and were able to do whatever they wanted and when so not tied to us.

Neither DS nor his girlfriend paid to come bar their spends as my parents wanted to do something nice. Previously to this I have spent limited time with the girlfriend and thought she seemed nice. She stays over a couple of times a week but I just leave them to it.

On holiday DS girlfriend complained about absolutely everything!

We stayed at a resort. On site the entertainment ended at 10.30pm and last orders was 11pm. DS girlfriend complained every single night how she couldn't believe it. We were very near a major nightlife place they could have got a taxi for less than a fiver and stayed out late.

Some of the on site attractions only opened in the afternoon. She complained. Again there was lots just off site.

DS and his girlfriend went to a paid for attraction of their choosing. Girlfriend complained the entire way round that certain small sections weren't open. The main things were. She also moaned that they had been rushed out to the attraction they had chose (at 2pm, it shut at 5!)

On the last full day she had a complete strop about DS wanting to go to the pool for the first time and screamed at DS who then skulked about miserable.

On the flight and journey home DS was out of character really rude to one of my parents who is now (rightly) absolutely livid as they paid for something special for DS girlfriend to moan all week and DS to shout and be rude to them.

Between them they ruined my parents holiday and in turn mine because now I'm getting it in the neck from both sides because DS is angry at being called out for his behaviour and my parents are massively pissed by the behaviour of both.

Neither of them thanked my parents for their free holiday.

I'm pretty upset tbh.

RTFT.

And it's spoken, not spoke.

You did a nice thing. It didn’t work out. Your poor son is saddled with a misery, astonishingly ungrateful of both of them. Buy a card and gift for your parents and move on. Your ds won’t be invited again.

YANBU, though I am always slightly incredulous myself at hotel bars closing at 11pm.

Why wouldn’t the hotel bar close at 11pm like everywhere else unless it is a club 18/30 hotel? Most places don’t want to encourage all night drinking.

Another tale to cement my view that holidays with extended family are utterly atrocious.

I would never entertain anything other than going with just DH and DS.

People are on holiday and might want to be up a bit later than 11pm. There is a happy medium that most good hotels strike between a place acting like a guest house in Bognor Regis in 1978 and a club 18/30 🤪

You said DS is golden child for GPs and the GF has been lovely when staying at yours a few times a week, so it sounds like thi sis massively out of character for both of them - in which case, maybe give it a bit of time and then try and talk to DS about it again with the intention of finding out if anything else is or was going on?

I don't mean that what they did was okay even if there is something unusual going on. Calling them out on their treatment of your DPs was the right thing to do. And not inviting them again is a reasonable response to how they behaved. But if they were both out of character, it is a hint that something unusual may have been going on for them and, as I assume you love your DS (despite the holiday!), you might want to see if he needs some support.

Obviously you won’t invite them again and I doubt they would accept if you did.

Don't even think about inviting them again. Tell DS why not. Take your parents somewhere nice to make up for it.

Or people are just angry that there first holiday in 8 years was spoiled by someone acting like a sulky pre teen.

She started as soon as we arrived and I mean literally about everything.

I've no intention of banning her for the reasons people have said above.

As I said earlier my Dad has no intention of changing the will and it isn't something he has ever threatened before.
He's just very angry and upset that he paid money for his first holiday in 8 years and tried to treat everyone and give his wife a lovely time for DS girlfriend to constantly moan nothing was good enough and for DS to publicly scream at his 80 year old wife in front of everyone.

*their

This.
She should be invited over very soon to apologise to your parents for a start and then not encouraged to come again until she learns some manners and accepts that the world does not revolve around her.
Can you imagine having her as a DIL 😱.
As for your son, he should apologise to his grandparents too.

Utter rubbish.

This. Why on earth didn't you nip it in the bud from the outset? I would have offered to pay her ticket home as soon as she opened her gob. Ticket home or smile and shut the fuck up would be the early options. Anything slightly off colour after that would be met with a trip to the airport or local train station for her or both, whatever.

Just keeping schtum has enabled her over inflated ego to give full rein.

So he needs to be angry and upset at the right people, which isn’t you.

Like I said, your dad and your son are behaving quite similarly. Lashing out at the wrong people. Only your dad is a lot older and wiser.

So if I were you I’d tell your dad to keep you out of it and tell your son to ring him and your mum and apologise.

(I’m leaving the GF out of it as she’s not someone you can do anything about.)

DS and his girlfriend went to a paid for attraction of their choosing. Girlfriend complained the entire way round that certain small sections weren't open

Did your son tell you this ? Surely he would have had a go at her too ?

The shouting at his grandmother who has been really poorly is unforgiveable. I really don't understand why he refuses to apologise. Surely, he must know that it was a terrible thing to do? He has suffered absolutely no consequences for his actions (as you have confirmed that your father's declaration of removing him from his will is an empty threat and he doesn't mean it).

You need to have a serious conversation with him. If he doesn't recognise how awful his girlfriend's behaviour was and how hurtful his verbal attack on his grandmother was, you have a massive problem.

It’s really weird, immature behaviour. Like something you’d expect from Kevin and Perry aged teens railing against parents curtailing their fun. Except these are 21/23 year olds, with full freedom. Why the hell didn’t they just go into the main resort after 11pm? Why didn’t she want him to swim in the pool?

Has there been any hints of poor behaviour from either of them before? I’d have personally sent them home.

I would let him cool down and reflect on his behaviour for a few days. He then needs to apologise to his grandparents and offer to reimburse the money for his and girlfriends stay. If you have some money perhaps you can treat your parents to a short break to make up for it?

I would back up grandad changing his will, he is clearly too immature to receive a lump of money. Would probably all disappear into taking the girlfriend on holidays that meet her exacting standards.

Clearly you won’t be taking the pair of them anywhere again but I’d be careful about excluding her from your house. You risk him siding with her and a major falling out. I suspect this relationship will come to an end soon.

But the op says they could have got a taxi into town for less than a fiver.

I would tell my son that they both needed to thank the grandparents for paying fir their holiday. You ca t just accept their bad manners, you must call them out on it.

I'd not invite them again.

Has he apologised to his grandparents? If not, why not?

Yes. As I said in my original comment, I'm not excusing the behaviour.

Funny thing. I’ve got a cousin who didn’t have a lot growing up, nor did we really, but her parents split and she went with her mum and her abusive dad wangled it so he was way better off. No CSA etc. So she never went a family holiday, didn’t even leave the UK til she was an adult, didn’t get things every teen girl would want. It was clearly hard for her and uncles and aunts did their best to make up the shortfall.

She has a tendency to find fault in everything. The hotel room is too small/hot, she can only travel on certain forms of transport, she’ll ruin meals out, always has to huff /send hers back. Which would be fine but she can’t cook and isn’t arsed, so at home the food she makes is not the most amazing. I think she hides her insecurity in threatening situations by complaining, and the need for some sort of perceived status -and control - also come from her upbringing. What’s noticeable is, it’s always when someone else is paying. It’s like she feels being grateful (or at least politely pretending to be) is beneath her.

She’s way older than DS GF and has never grown out of it. Her DH has quite a life. I think it’d be a mistake to humour her. I’d tell DS frankly that she’s rude and you’re worried it’s contagious. I know conventional wisdom is don’t try to get between them but she’s done her best to wreck a holiday, so the genie’s sort of already out.

What?

Just roll over and accept rudeness because he 'likes her'

No!

Jesus H Christ on a bike at Christmas…. This is quite possibly the most shocking behaviour I’ve ever read/heard. I would cry with happiness if somebody offered me to go on holiday with them, never mind offer to pay (I don’t have any friends or family) and would insist on paying for myself. If they wouldn’t accept payment then I’d make sure I paid for every meal out and that they were reimbursed that way. I’d do whatever they wanted when they wanted and not even dream of moaning! I’d also do all the cleaning & tidying, make every cup of tea and would thank them so much they’d be sick of hearing it… Because that’s how I was raised. I’m staggered. Truly staggered.