Things that don’t bother you that seem a big deal to other people

[Yesttte]

Lighthearted really but I honestly can’t understand why anyone would feel precious about a friend forgetting their birthday. My very best friend has forgot a couple of times and it’s more funny than anything else. But other people seem up in arms about things like this.

Weddings… I couldn’t give a shit if someone couldn’t make my wedding or posted a photo too soon or whatever else. I’m amazed people care about this stuff.

Obviously there’s plenty I’m highly strung about though! 😅

I thought i was quite intolerant until I got on Mumsnet. Things other MNetters get bothered about that I couldn't care less about are,
DH having female friends
Toilet brushes
Answering the door
Family time at the weekend

Being on your own. I love having the house to myself if DP is away. Takes me a little while to start missing him TBH.

People not replying to messages right away. They have lives!

Answering the door and taking in parcels. If it's a charity collector or other nuisance, just send them away. How hard is it?

Same. I'll often actively put a film with Scarlett Johansson in it on because she's usually in decent things I want to watch and he likes to look at her.

I do not think he's about to run off with her. Or any other attractive woman he may see out in the world. Because he is happy here. (And, because she's Scarlett Johansson and not likely to want him 😂).

And if he did, well more fool him, off he can pop. I love him and our life together but if he wants to end it then I will survive.

People not wanting to speak to me beyond a simple acknowledgement. I'm not owed their time. It isn't rude.
People empathising with me by sharing their own experience, I love it actually, share away. I like to feel we have a shared experience, I don't think it's selfish or making it about themselves. I'd rather hear their stories and would find this more validating than them just listening to me and throwing in the odd "mmm" " that must be difficult".
Children being noisy when they are having fun in the garden/park etc. Adults having parties and being loud. All fine with me if it's a reasonable time. Time doesn't matter to me personally as I can sleep with noise but I appreciate others can't.
The welfare state, especially for families. I'd rather be paying extra tax than have people living in poverty and children stuck in a poverty trap.

Relationships with friends and family. I’m just chilled about it. If people want to see us then they will, if they don’t then I’m not bothered. Other people’s time with you is a gift from them to you… it’s not something you can place a demand on as if you are entitled to it. You take what you can get if they are of value to you, otherwise everyone can just carry on and do what makes them happy.

My Dh hobbies and the time he spends doing it. His happiness is important to me and he loves doing it. Who am I to stop him?

The school run, when i did it

I agree. I don’t know why they the don’t complain about us leaving it down all the time.

Oh the DH thing totally.

My friends often say "you let him do that?" And the only thing I can find to say is "I don't let him do anything, he's an adult. But why would I stop him being happy?".

He's so chilled that I get my own way most of the time, so if there's something he wants to do, why would I stop that?

Having a flashy house and car.

Designer labels.

Climbing the corporate ladder.

Driving.

Generally, most things that are considered to be markers of success these days. I’m just not arsed about any of it.

How often someone showers or at what time of day. if they don't smell, I don't care.

Whether or not someone wears pyjamas at home in the day.

I am not bothered by lots of things to do with friendships with others seem bothered by. I would never expect a friend to pick me up from the airport or all sorts of things which some people seem to define friendship by.

Yup I often tell him that if he wants to run off with someone else then he must go…

I wish more women would understand the power you actually hold for your life when you are confident in being by yourself. It is your power in a relationship for a man to know that you would be ok without him 😂😂😂

A friend dating an ex of mine. If you’ve moved on, what’s the problem?

DH working away for long stretches
Wee on the toilet seat or in fact any toilet issues which always seem like such a drama to other people
Not having a 50/50 approach to housework
Swearing/offensive/sexual/bantery types at work - good for them I love it.

We have a very strong relationship but I do think that a lot of that is because he knows I would have no issues in ending it if he behaves like a lot of men (according to MN) do.

Knowing that you'd be happy to walk away from them rather than put up with being treated badly gives you so much more respect from a man than being scared to lose them. And they won't treat you poorly if they respect you.

But that's a bit deep for this thread 😂

Cleanliness in general. I like my home to be clean and ordered but the neurosis around 'germs' I find pretty disturbing.

• People having to change sheets immediately after sex or putting towels over the bed
• 'Indoor' clothes versus outdoor clothes and the idea that sitting on your bed with a coat will make you ill
• Refusal to share water bottles with anyone outside the family. Sharing of cutlery between consenting friends.
• Anxiety about home-baked goods or home-cooked foods being brought to people's houses.
• People needing to disinfect things on public transport.
• Being fastidious about a bit of animal hair on furniture.

None of these activities will stop you picking up germs. A healthy immune system should be able to deal with any of this and if your immune system is compromised or you have allergies you have bigger problems.

It breeds a degree of neurosis in children which is incredibly unhealthy and makes everyone feel on edge the whole time.

Agree! Too deep! Moving on…

People putting their washing out when WFH. I mean obviously, don't take the piss but if you want to take a screen break and spend 10mins sorting the washing out, I don't see the issue. If you were at work, you'd probably spend that 10 mins chatting when making a coffee anyway.

(But I've recently got a job managing people who are likely to be hybrid working so we'll see whether I'll still think this in 12 months. 🤣)

DP on his computer gaming
NDN's 6ft high fence
My heart attack

The things that my husband does that would annoy other women… Leaving his dirty cups above the dishwasher and not in it. Messing everything he does in the kitchen (grated cheese, sugar, crumbs etc).
This is offset by my tendency to not close things properly (jars, cupboards, doors).

Having to organise a big hen do. The baffling thing is it is often the maid of honour pushing. So it’s not something the bride is even wanting necessarily. So what’s the point in it all? 😂 Each to their own though.

I agree with lots already mentioned, I've been on Mumsnet a long time and it always the same old things that people get irrationally irritated about without acknowledging that they are in control of their own emotions and don't need to get invested in so much drama over MILs, hen nights, friends, presents, housework etc etc.

Something I don't think has been mentioned is when people (mums) moan about the 'chore' of making packed lunches .... I mean how hard is it to slap a piece of ham/cheese whatever in a roll and chuck a piece of fruit in a box?

There is no need (unless very specific dietary restrictions) to pander to DC & make up exotic bento boxes etc.

Can't be bothered about;

Husband admiring other women....he's with me and I trust him implicitly
Children leaving home......I'm happy they can start their own lives
Dogs in cafes
Shoes indoors

I do have my own personal hates but that's just me!!

Mothers day. It's some nonsense designed to make companies money so I could care less.

Although my 14 year old bought me a 99p bunch of daffs this year because she knows I like them. I was delighted!

Also Xmas and all the stress and martyrdom. You’re an adult, just do what you and your immediate family want to do and crack on.

I have so so so many but just a few:

Travelling / theatre / cinema solo.
My partner having opposite sex friendships.
Trans women in my toilet
Women who have zero interest in paid work / working outside the home
People who quote OP.