To be annoyed that my manager said she “needs more energy” from me?

[ThatTaupeCritic]

I’m doing my job well, meeting deadlines and staying professional. But in a recent catch-up, my manager said she “needs more energy” from me. What does that even mean? I’m not in sales or performance - I don’t see how being more “bubbly” affects the quality of my work.

It just rubbed me the wrong way. AIBU to think this kind of feedback is vague and a bit performative?

It’s strange isn’t it because in some cases what we might describe as “getting the job done” actually means “doing the very minimum to not get fired and making life harder for other people you work with” rather than “doing a satisfactory job” let alone a good job.

Like if you’re part of a team at work tasked with developing new ideas you probably CAN just sit silently through the meeting about it and not contribute/join in, and wait for someone to give you something to do “Laura can you have a look at that fundraising idea Ben had” and then do some desultory work on it, not collaborate with others, send a few bits and pieces over. Go home. Technically we might describe that as getting the job done but actually it means you’re expecting others to do all the initiative, discussion, yes “energy” parts of it.

Anyway back to your problem OP I think going back to your boss and asking for further clarification is a good idea. Based on this thread you could say you’ve been thinking about her comments and you’re still wondering whether she means a) not speedy enough b) not collaborative/talkative enough c) lacking enthusiasm d) lacking initiative.

Yes, but the feedback is that the OP needs to put more energy into it. So it doesn't really matter what the industry is, what matters is that her manager needs someone in that role who can perform with more energy than OP does. If OP is unable to do that she can choose to stay in the role and probably receive that feedback again and again, change to a more suitable role or try and change the way she works. By just saying the manager is unreasonable to expect anything more from her she isn't doing anyone any favours, not even herself.

This is one of those vague expressions used in business to pad out appraisals.
Personally, I'd be asking for clear examples from her, rather than fretting about it. She is lacking in clarity, to use the same type of terminology. 🙄

Turn up on Monday like Spud in Trainspotting.

Yes!! This. 😆

I was going to suggest legwarmers but thats funnier!

Maybe the problem is that you see enthusiasm for the job as performative.

When grown adults need a display of enthusiasm it suggests a need for validation. OP values competence, which is a real, measurable quality.

That depends on the job though doesn’t it. If you’re a TV presenter or a primary school teacher or a PR person, or doing something like front of house work in a restaurant or venue, or even just trying to motivate a team, then not showing enthusiasm or energy is missing a very important part of your role. It’s not an optional extra. Doing work lacking that can be just as bad as doing inaccurate work in a different role.

You've misunderstood my comment. Theres a difference between the role demanding energy, and an adult surrounding themselves with a group who have to make a display of enthusiasm.

Totally agree with this as an approach. I’d also add e) giving others the perception you don’t care/ are not interested.
And maybe you don’t care…and that’s fine…but at least you will know she wants someone who can contribute to a feeling of comradary and support within the team. Team dynamics are so important. If you are not a team player then find a role where it is not as important.

Is your manager the same person as my old manager? 😂

She would always use feedback as an opportunity for a personality critique. It was never about the work. I’d take it with a pinch of salt.

It’s goes both ways. I would understand what ‘bring more energy’ means perfectly. If OP doesn’t, she needs to communicate that she needs it clarified. Walking away and saying nothing and then grumbling about it is useless.

Just because that element of misogyny can exist in a workplace, it doesn’t mean that’s what’s happening here. There’s not any evidence of that unless OP gives it.

Sorry but if a workplace has two qualified candidates available, one of whom seems significantly more motivated and willing to contribute positiey towards the team dynamic...Guess who's going to get hired or promoted?

There will be jobs however where the number of unmotivated or work-to-contract employees outnumber the highly motivated, in which case the employer doesn't have much of a choice in terms of hiring people who are just there for the money and nothing else.

But realistically speaking, well-paid and more technical/managerial jobs will skew towards candidates who are more enthusiastic, self-motivated and keen to perform. And unfortunately part of the way to demonstrate you have these attributes is to speak up and display them, there is a level of performativity when it comes to getting promoted - it's shit, but a lot of time it's about connecting with the right audience, humans are social creatures and a lot of getting things done (at higher levels) depends upon your relationship with those around you (e.g. managing stakeholders, moving deadlines, negotiating budgets etc).

I do agree that OPs manager should be more explicit with what they're looking for and specify whether it's a blocker for promotion opportunities or whether it's more of a "nice to have". If OP is hitting the requirements for their role then they don't need to worry about job security, only progression

Agree with you that OP should have immediately sought clarification 👍

I asked what she meant and she just said something about “bringing more energy to the role” - no specifics. I’m still not sure if it’s about tone, facial expression, enthusiasm, or what. That’s why it felt frustrating.

OP did ask for clarification and she still got vagueness the second time around. It’s easy to say now she should have asked the manager to explain for a third time, but as these situations go where the meaning isn’t immediately obvious you sometimes don’t know if you just need to take some time to digest it or we should ask the person right there and then to explain it again.

So it’s likely OP took some time away to work it out herself, but has still drawn a blank which is why she’s now asking on MN and considering seeking further clarification at work.

She's trying to bring you down. She knows you are doing OK and for whatever reason it's pissing her off. She's negging you

Also see team fit. When you're interviewing candidates if you care about this, their personality does play a huge factor. In the past we've often chosen someone who was thought to be a better 'fit' over someone more technically capable or experienced. The latter can be learned, the former not so much as the comments on this thread show.

So, I can imagine it being something that might be said to someone who is not considered a team player. Or who does their job, but only their job and could do more to support colleagues.

But I think my litmus test would be whether the same feedback would be given to a male employee. If not, and it is about needing to simper more, I personally would be looking elsewhere.

That’s a reach if I ever heard one.

We have a lovely lady on my very small team who, when we have brainstorming meetings or just talk about possible options for going forward just says 'hmm' 'hmm' and makes notes, but never sounds interested in anything, never smiles, never has ideas herself. She will do whatever you ask her, as quickly as possible, but in a sort of tickbox way, never thinking 'oh maybe it would be better if I did X'. She works very hard but is quite draining as she doesn't seem to get any enjoyment or excitement from any of it. Could any of that be true?

I do think it's not a useful comment without clarity.

When bringing energy is used as a positive, it means staff who show enthusiasm and positivity for the work. People who seem if not excited, at least interested and engaged with projects. They speak up, offer opinions and ideas, make suggestions. They tend to work at pace and show initiative. They don't moan, they offer alternatives. They seem like they are happy to work there.

Did you ask for clarification?

It sounds like you are pretty checked out and not interested in progression?

It’s taken me some courage to write this but after my tenth interview and rejection I’m looking for ideas. I’m a mid fifties teacher and out of a job: redundancy. I get wonderful feedback but the job always goes to an internal or someone already known to the school. I love teaching but don’t know if I should bother to continue. I’m not sure my age group is wanted in teaching anymore . When I started there were different age groups working together. Doesn’t seem like it now. Has anyone experience of being in a similar situation? Any advice?

I think you’ve maybe posted here by mistake. You’ll need to start your own thread.