To be annoyed that my manager said she “needs more energy” from me?

[ThatTaupeCritic]

I’m doing my job well, meeting deadlines and staying professional. But in a recent catch-up, my manager said she “needs more energy” from me. What does that even mean? I’m not in sales or performance - I don’t see how being more “bubbly” affects the quality of my work.

It just rubbed me the wrong way. AIBU to think this kind of feedback is vague and a bit performative?

Sometimes managers just feel they have to say something. Anything. Years ago I went on staff leadership training (teaching) and we were invited to say something about another member of staff in the room that they were good at and share it.
Then do the same for something they could improve on.

Without exception the good things were very precise, concrete things that the person did: clear communicator, etc. Without exception all the critiques were expressed as a metaphor, e.g. needs to think outside the box. 100%

I don't know if this means that people hesitate to critique someone so take refuge in the nebulous or they just can't name the horrid truth in an open meeting.

Anyway, your manager has been vague and metaphorical so you'll need to go back to her. I'd take the tack of not saying what the fuck does "give more energy" mean you twazzock? and try to get the specific. Ask her for an example of how you could do what you do better. Don't be surprised if this doesn't go well as her remark might have been based on fuck all so you can't get better.

Keep a diary record of what she says/has said.

Next time you talk with her tell her you need more psychological safety from her.

I would understand that to be you lack engagement, initiative.

That you do exactly what’s required but don’t show an understanding of how to improve, be more creative or efficient, or do anything beyond the minimum spec of your role.

OR that your manager is crap and wants you to sing and dance for your supper.

Both are possible.

Call their bluff and say you really want to take it on board so please could you have some SMART metrics to measure yourself against and a timeline so it’s objective.

I'd have pushed her even further to explain and said can you give more context and if she gave another vague comment. I'd have then said I'm still struggling to understand sorry, can you give specific examples of how I should bring more energy to the role.

Ask her to frame it as a SMART objective and you'll get onto it right away.
Bet she can't!

Great idea. Put the responsibility back to them in explaining it. So annoying when managers make vague statements like that.

I clashed with my manager at a comms company because of this. They had these vague comments about me not being sociable or friendly enough despite the fact I was under supported and given far too much work from the second week of being there.

I was often working until 7pm along with other junior staff while many senior staff swanned off at 4pm.

It wasn’t enough for me to get on with it and complete the task to a high standard, I also had to be “perky”. Since then I’ve steered clear of that kind of workplace.

Cross posted with @SocialEvent !

‘Getting the job done’ is all that is required. People like you, jobsworths, who want all that and more, just make work life so much more tedious. Most of us are just selling our labour to eat and put a roof over our heads. We have no corporate affiliation other than the one we lie about. Perhaps you are the one that needs to ‘reflect’?

It’s giving this vibe, is she a young manager? vm.tiktok.com/ZNdM1oDWF/

She needs to task you with something measurable if she feels you have a performance issue. This sort of statement is unfair on you.

Is it possible that she doesn't really know her arse from her elbow and is just coming out with what she hopes will sound managerial? I have found that some people will do this when they haven't really got anything pertinent to say. Perhaps she was just floundering and being a dick. Ask HR if they can offer any clarity on the situation.

I would guess it’s because you are ‘just’ doing your job. Energy can mean lack of pro activity, lack of engagement, lack of positivity, only doing your job and nothing else, not building relationships, only doing exactly what your job is and nothing else etc.

Are you putting in your hours and performing your tasks and nothing else?

Not necessarily... and that view is more than a little bit judgy.

Bubbly people are more personable and, as a result, tend to be very well thought of in the workplace.

Don't knock it till you've tried it, eh?

Funnily enough she’s actually older which makes the vibes-based feedback even weirder.

That honestly wouldn’t surprise me - it did feel like filler feedback dressed up as something meaningful. I’ll see what HR says and I’ll continue to keep note of how she operates going forward.

I’m doing my job well and hitting deadlines but I’m not doing performative enthusiasm or going beyond scope just to tick an invisible box. I prefer clarity, if she wants something specific, I’d rather she say so than use vague language like ‘energy.’

She wants the performative enthusiasm I think. It’s annoying.

It all sounds a bit wanker-ish speak

I’d have asked for a simple translation, WTF are saying exactly (or maybe not quite like that!)

I read it as no sense of urgency ie not turning things around quickly but dawdling through them. Not actively looking at ways to improve things etc

It's ambiguous feedback and really should be structured better.

@Jumpingthruhoopsit maybe depends on what you think of as bubbly. To me it's the kind of person who won't stop talking and is OTT enthusiastic about everything. Like Noel Furlong in father Ted. I find these people draining and they spend more time yapping and distracting everyone than actually working. Then everyone pulls together to get things done and they get the credit because they dominate all conversation and make management think they did everything. No one else can get a word in edgeways to contradict them. Luckily my current line manager can see right through this BS and we have very little of it.

This. Am guessing you probably come across a bit meh, which isn't great to be around. But definitely ask for specifics if you are confused or ask one of your work friends if you are willing to accept some constructive feedback

Yep agree with this. Bubby to me means positive, friendly and enthusiastic and usually the kind of person people enjoy being around.

I would definitely ask her to clarify as it has clearly upset you. In my last job I was taken aside and told that I needed to smile more. 🙄
I have a chronic health condition so told them I didn’t really feel like smiling when I was in constant pain. There was also the issue of me fucking hating the job which didn’t really make me want to smile much either! I lasted just over 3 months before I left.

See I think you may have hit the mail on the head there. It isn’t performative enthusiasm and by thinking so it may come across as negative. It should be seen as engaging and a positive attitude to work and being there.

I think it can be seen as clear. The opposite of energy is flat, dispirited and listless. Maybe that’s how you are coming across which can affect other people you work with and can be seen as negative.

I get you are annoyed and that continues to come across in your response. I suggest you think about what it may mean instead of being annoyed.