To be annoyed that my manager said she “needs more energy” from me?

[ThatTaupeCritic]

I’m doing my job well, meeting deadlines and staying professional. But in a recent catch-up, my manager said she “needs more energy” from me. What does that even mean? I’m not in sales or performance - I don’t see how being more “bubbly” affects the quality of my work.

It just rubbed me the wrong way. AIBU to think this kind of feedback is vague and a bit performative?

While I agree with you on the general principle, that is not at all what a jobsworth is. Quite the opposite.

A jobsworth isn't someone who 'wants all that and more', it's someone who won't go a hair beyond the rules or outside their job description to help someone else, because it's 'more than their job's worth'. The predecessor of 'computer says no'.

Well the energetic chap who's desperate to impress me at work sounds delighted to get a teams call at work from me. He sets up necessary meetings at speed. He updates me regularly about plans and milestones. Largely he is focused on looking energetic and making my life easier.

Does she want you to pick up the pace?

I've noticed at workplaces generally that the ppl that chat BS all day seem to be v popular with higher management despite the fact they get nothing concrete done. Basically, they know how to gas up the right ppl. The ppl that just get on with stuff and actually know their jobs get ignored/shafted.

Even that is metaphor. The manager needs to say exactly what actions she means and in what circumstances.

You should have asked at the time surely?

I'd guess , then, that the best thing you can do, is ask for clarity

It does sound like filler feedback.

I had a line manager tell me I 'lacked commitment' without concrete examples. The irony was that at the time he gave me that feedback I was working unpaid overtime doing a stock count.

I have realised since that this type of feedback is just code for you haven't done anything wrong but I don't like you.

Which is fine, not everyone is destined to be friends, but not wanting to be friends shouldn't be part of feedback.

My line manager was actually disappointed that I was on this stock count (involving a night in a hotel) rather than my colleague with whom he was wanting to have an affair.

More proactive? Take ownership more? More positive?

If you barely spare a word for someone you work closely with it might make them less happy at work for example

Well what if being talked at about inane shit I don’t care about at work makes ME less happy at work?

Forcing people to be social when they aren’t is not ok, either. As long as people do their jobs and aren’t rude or hostile that is good enough.

This....they may think they look good and are liked by managers, but managers don't actually care about them as individual, just as a tool to get what they want done to further their own agenda. Their peer colleagues just see them as sycophantic tools! 😆

I'd take it to mean more productivity, they are cracking the whip.

Yeah but people like that don't build good teams, aren't that productive or create a good culture. You may as well be a robot. A big reason many people go to work is they like the people they work with and actually enjoy their company. It's always been a huge factor for me as part of why I like working in a company. The sort of person you're talking about, may as well just WFH as their colleagues couldn't care less if they were there or not. If everyone was like that, it would probably have quite a miserable culture

I really wouldn't escalate this to HR, that is a fairly big over-reaction. Have another chat with your line manager, say that you are someone who struggles with vague instructions and that it would be helpful if she could provide examples of what she means.

There is such a thing as performative enthusiasm and it’s very common in certain workplaces and Op is saying she doesn’t partake in it. So what do you mean “it isn’t performative enthusiasm?”

OP hasn’t said she doesn’t have a positive attitude, and that’s subjective too. Positive attitude could also be working hard , meeting deadlines and not constantly grumbling for no reasons and just being pleasant and there’s nothing to suggest OP doesn’t do all this.

OP IS thinking about what it means hence she came on here to ask - and many of us agree with OP it was unhelpful feedback which lacked specificity. She shouldn’t have to be “thinking” about it and asking mn. It should have been made clear and definitely clarified when OP asked.

It’s apparent even from the mix of responses here that the manager failed in being clear enough.

Do you sigh and complain a lot? Or lack enthusiasm??

Another interpretation is that you’re being negative/draining, and this was her way of addressing it.

I agree, without examples it’s useless feedback.

Is your manager American?
Anyway, some managers think that everyone has to LOVE their job and show it. It's bloody ridiculous. If you want to freak your manager out try to put on a ghastly smile as soon as you see them and start high fiving and laughing hysterically.
https://www.wikihow.com/Fake-a-Smile

Absolutely agree. Am at work to do a job, if I get on with my colleagues great, however we're not there to be a support human/cheerleader/entertainment for them.

It's so bizarre that you would equate being someone that people would like to be around with being a support human/cheerleader/entertainment

That's absolutely useless feedback so I'd be going back to her "enthusiastically" and asking for clarity, and concrete examples of wtf she means. This can be framed in a helpful, "I want to be better!" kind of way to ease things along.

Once you get clarity you can react accordingly. If she does mean proactive engagement and better ideas then that's a reasonable ask. I suspect you're right, and it's a vague (and rather bitchy) personality critique, and they just don't like your resting bitch face. In which case you can politely point out that this should be irrelevant as long as you're performing well (and you can cite your work as evidence that you are performing well).

More in response to If you barely spare a word for someone you work closely with it might make them less happy at work for example. Or if you give off an air of really going through the motions at work it can have a lowering impact on the rest of your team. Vibes are contagious.
I'm not at work to make colleagues 'happy' I'm not going to actively make them unhappy, but it's not in my job role to make them happy, same as if me 'going through the motions' I.e doing that which I get paid for lowers the mood for others for some reason (why? They're having to do their own work? ) that's on them!

When people are negative in the workplace there's often good reason for it. I was once told I was being negative, and I replied that I was negative because X, Y and Z aspects of my workflow were reliably substandard and prevented me from doing my job easily. They were the responsibility of other people and outside contractors but they should have been easily fixable. Fix those, you'll see my attitude fixed too. There was also negativity because of a hare-brained "new direction" from the idiot big bosses which I disagreed with (and which I was right about, it was abandoned after 2 months). Once again I pointed out that my negativity was in fact because of other people's bad ideas, and I was actually correct in being negative.

This is an example of what she means.

You went away from that meeting unclear what your manager has in mind.

if you still weren't clear what s/he actually meant, why didn't you ask for an example, or to further explain more about what she's observed you not doing.

leaving it dangling is poor because she's now under the impression you've discussed the matter, she'd said what was needed, but you're not going to be able to do what she's expecting.

if you don't know, how are we expected to?

Unless my manager guarantees me 8hrs unbroken sleep, a huge pay rise so I can afford a cleaner and private medical treatment to sort all of my health issues the energy they get from me is all I can muster!!!

Oh I had this as a new teacher! A lesson was inadequate as I ‘didn’t have enough spark’. I was really down as a new teacher, embarrassed. She then modelled this super bubbly (unsustainable!) lesson for me bouncing around with teddy bears. I ended up leaving after a series of negative observations and isolation.

The thing is as my confidence grew I realised the kids were happy with my calmer personality. Maybe she didn’t like me but the kids were learning, happy and I had zero behaviour issues. I went on to be a calm quiet kind of teacher, outstanding elsewhere and according to Ofsted. She basically just didn’t like me, and I wasn’t her vision of a teacher. She wasn’t even a great teacher looking back.