To be annoyed that my manager said she “needs more energy” from me?

[ThatTaupeCritic]

I’m doing my job well, meeting deadlines and staying professional. But in a recent catch-up, my manager said she “needs more energy” from me. What does that even mean? I’m not in sales or performance - I don’t see how being more “bubbly” affects the quality of my work.

It just rubbed me the wrong way. AIBU to think this kind of feedback is vague and a bit performative?

This entire thread is why I’m self employed, as an autistic person. “More enthusiasm” is just nebulous crap. When I come in in the morning? As to the speed at which I answer emails? About my participation in meetings? Some other thing? Just fucking tell me so I can do my job.

😬

Sometimes I wonder whether managers scratch around for something, anything to say as an 'area for improvement'. Years ago I had a manager tell me shortly after starting that the 'ones who succeed here come in early, stay late, put the hours in' (I was young) and I was like ok cool.

So I started coming in at 8:00 or 8:15 instead of 8:50 (started at 9). no one was in. Okay whatever, maybe it's a culture thing and I have to earn my stripes? A week later the same manager said I was behaving like a 'lone wolf' and complained that I was coming in early and staying late, so I wasn't making friends at the pub after work. I couldn't win.

Vague feedback like that is unhelpful and unprofessional. Part of my job is teaching managers how to give constructive feedback. My advice would be to ask for clarification with a few specific questions:

Can she cite examples of where your energy is lacking? Where has she observed this?

What impact has that had? On your work, your team or customer?

How does she see it hampering your performance or future opportunities?

You can't do much without more specifics.

I'd say more energy would mean, for example, that if your manager says to you "I need more energy from you" and you don't know what they mean, you would say "Can you tell me what you mean by that?" instead of just sitting there.

I'm self-employed too. I'm polite, friendly and professional (I think). But my Perk-O-Meter is naturally set to low - and more so the older I get.

Ain't no-one telling me to give it more big perk energy. <happy sigh>.

Whenever I think about salaried employment again, this is the kind of bollox that gives me the fear.

I’d be really honest if she gives random feedback next time.

“Susan I don’t know what that means I’m afraid. If you could give some specific examples that would really help me to understand what you mean.”

That must have felt faintly surreal (as well as deeply frustrating).

Did you say anything or just let it wash over you in shock?

I know how you feel. It’s not you. My new boss told me I was ‘unfriendly’ and ‘emotional’. He then spent a few minutes of every line management meeting supposedly giving me feedback on my awful personality. I asked my colleagues for feedback and to be honest whether he was right. Not one agreed with him. So, ask a trusted colleague what they think.

I was really confused, but assumed it was a me problem. I was undiagnosed ADHD so 'feedback' always resulted in doing the 'extreme' of whatever was suggested. Come in early? Come in before anyone else. Stay late? Make sure you're the last to leave. Work hard to succeed? Minimal chatting in the kitchen. I couldn't get balance and just... fit in

I didn't pass probation even though, because of my lone wolf tendencies, I was smashing records in the office, which only ostracised me more. The whole experience still rubs me up the wrong way more than a decade later!

My question to my manager would be to ask what the consequences will be if they don't see this change (which you don't understand) in you and what the behaviours look like that they want to see.

Maybe she’s had feedback from the team that you’re bringing them down. Work isn’t a popularity context, but there’s more to work than just completing tasks. Offering ideas and new processes is part of being good at your job as is fitting well in a team.

Energy is really important for me at work. That’s not to say people have to be bouncing off walls with excitement, but it’s important to connect on some level and show an interest in the role/team. Perhaps that’s kind of what she meant.

Personally, I would pick it up with her again, say you’ve had some time to reflect and aren’t sure what she means by energy, could she be more specific in what she’s looking for.

I hate this type of manager who gives random comments like that without any clear examples of what they mean and a clear action points to improve.

It is pointless and always feel like a vague critic of someone's personality.

OP, I would assume you have a manager who was promoted over their ability and has no idea of how to do the job correctly.

I'd be coming in wearing a hat with some batteries strapped to it...

There's a reason I'm self-employed.

That sort of comment isn't constructive and from a performance point of view, how is she measuring the output of 'more energy'?

Ask her how she is measuring this 'energy' and see what she comes back with, I think she needs to accept that not everyone goes at things like a bull at a gate!

I’d ask for a more specific explanation

please, please as a next step don’t go to HR. The only thing they can really say is did you ask your manager what they meant, you’ll say no, then they’ll tell you to go back and get clarity. It just makes you look a bit foolish as well as the manager. Just talk to your manager and ask them for clarity, it’s the sensible thing to do.

@ThatTaupeCritic I’d ask for some examples of what ‘more energy’ looks like. For example, I presume she doesn’t mean ‘run everywhere’ (you could start doing so, to entertain yourself if nothing else 😳). This would annoy me, too, but would
never happen where I work, thankfully.

Without clarification I’d interpret it that I wasn’t getting as much work done - and/or done as quickly - as she’d like.

Nah………what she really meant was that she wanted to increase overall productivity and company image but was too lazy to put the work in herself, so she thought she would get you to shoulder the extra graft.
If your work performance meets company standards and requirements then she is a CF to expect more IMO.

I'd feel the same. I sounds really vague. I would want specific examples.

Quite!

It’s an unfair thing to say without clarification, so I’d email (no harm in having a record) in a friendly way and ask for a follow up chat to find out

Your manager wasn’t very clear but it sounds like you do the job no more, no less. So you’re performing but not adding anything. You need her to clarify exactly what she means otherwise nothing is going to change. She sounds disappointed in your enthusiasm for the job.

I took think that managers who don't know what they are doing scratch around for something negative to say. This feedback is personal and I don't like it. You could have problems at home, be introverted, or struggle with social interaction. As long as you get the job done to the best of your ability it doesn't matter.

For the first time in a very long established and well regarded career and in life I was told by a line manager I didn't mix. I do mix. I'm a social butterfly and I get on with everyone. The issue was I was sold a role that turned out to be something completely different and I was unhappy. And she thought she was a great mixer because she told everyone very personal things repeatedly at work as well as general gibberish.

I'd email your line manager for specifics. This is the sort of thing that grinds you down and it's just her opinion. I'd also look for another role where you are valued.

Not bubbly my arse.

In appraisals your goals need to be measurable and specific and acheived within a set time so maybe go back to her and ask how and when 'more energy' will be reviewed