To worry about neighbour’s baby

[maloney123]

I’m not sure where to start, but I am really quite worried about my neighbours’ baby. The other side of our semidetached is rented, and approx six months ago a new family moved in. The walls are paper thin so we can hear pretty much everything that goes on. There’s a dad, mum and what sounds like a young baby. The dad comes and goes, he usually goes out very early in the car and doesn’t come back all day. There is another car but that never moves. We’ve seen the dad a couple of times, but have only ever seen the mum twice, going into the house. We’ve never seen the baby. The blinds are always drawn and the back door is never opened, even though there’s a big garden. I’m on maternity leave so am often home or in and out picking my older child up from nursery, I bump into other neighbours from time to time but I’ve never the mum or baby. I’m not saying I watch the house or anything like that, I just think it’s really strange that I’ve never bumped into her or even seen the baby at all. Am I overthinking this? For what it’s worth, they appear to be Muslim (only mentioning because some Muslim men have certain views towards women). I just worry that something is not right and no authorities are aware of the baby. Oh, nobody ever comes to the house either. I don’t even know what I could do really or who I could contact. I don’t hear any mistreatment or anything like that, I just feel really uncomfortable with the situation and the thought that I could do something but haven’t

Better 'ignorance' than downright bigotry posing as 'extensive experience and knowledge'

Ok, so my actual experience can be cancelled out because you don't like how it sounds. Ok then.

"bigotry" wow. Bingo !

I agree. But apparently that makes me a "bigot" (such a tired, overused word)

I have a similar situation with a neighbour and the baby must be 4 or 5 months by now. The mum has left the house a handful of times I've never gave it a second thought its up to them how they live. Different people have different experiences perhaps she was recovering from a difficult birth or moved area and doesn't have local friend/family support

We have similar neighbours although they also have a 4/5 yr old at school and that’s the only time you see the mother (and young baby) walking to the school run otherwise you would never see her. Curtains all closed. She has no interest in mixing with any of her neighbours as we have all tried to say hello in passing and she looks the other way 🤷🏻‍♀️

Can certain poster's stop spreading misinformation. Here is what a '
"Bigot" Is. It's a about time we stopped accepting this lazy labelling of people who don't puppet nod to everything certain poster's say. Nothing, bar nothing I have written suggests "bigotry".

The undertones are OP's suspicions of how Muslim men "treat their women" and wondering if it could even be human trafficking. That's all OP, all on her own magicking up these things.

Excellent post on all levels, particularly the last paragraph.

You just seem weirdly determined, on minimal evidence, to assert that this woman is an uneducated SAHP actively avoiding contact with non-Muslims on religious/cultural grounds. There are vast cultural differences between different groups of Muslims. Your own fairly limited experience doesn’t make this not be the case. I certainly know of Muslims like this — I used to teach at a university where some British female Muslim students only spoke to one another and were escorted between lectures by a brother or male cousin, and obviously there would be more conservative some groups who wouldn’t contemplate attending university. I also know foreign-born Muslim women who are highly educated professionals who socialise with non-Muslims. In DS’s primary class there were several Muslim children. One never did play dates and spent a lot of time at his madrasah after school. Two others, both with Pakistani-born mothers who covered and kept halal, were always around our house on play dates (were vegetarian, so no issues with halal meat, gelatine etc), and the mothers would drop in for tea. One of them became a good friend I’m still in touch with, long after I left. One was a consultant cardiologist, the other an anaesthetist. Another neighbour had not long arrived from Pakistan to have an arranged marriage with a British man. She was lonely and desperate to meet peoole.

My point being that we don’t know enough about the OP’s neighbour to know what kind of life she has when she doesn’t have a small baby.

That it really sad and shouldn't be allowed tbh.

That is what I would do too. If a baby has never been outdoors in 6 months it would be a concern.

People should be allowed to keep their blinds closed?

How would you police that exactly?

I don't understand how people know so much about their neighbour coming and going. It is slightly creepy. I live in a semi so we do sometimes hear our joined-on neighbours close the front door or start their car. But if we're in the kitchen or back bedroom we don't hear their movements at all. They probably don't hear us leaving through the garden gate to walk our dog. They are quiet people, so are we. We know each others names, we say hi, we exchange Christmas cards, but we rarely see them - I couldn't tell you how often they go out. Unless you are watching someone's house 24/7, how can you really know that they've only left the house a handful of times? It's just bizarre.

@Istilldontlikeolives

Thanks for commenting on the baklava, it was absolutely hilarious seeing it mentioned several times 🤣🤣🤣

How can she know that the baby hasn't been outdoors? Is she watching them 24/7? Filming them? Does she never leave the house herself?

If a woman has to stay indoors with the blinds closed so she can take off her hijab that is abusive. It wouldn't be a surprise if she is depressed. She can't even look outside properly. Maybe she is too tired to put on her hijab and go into the garden with the baby.

Who knows. Maybe mum or baby or both are unwell. Maybe they just don't go out much. People often keep curtains drawn to stop nosey neighbours peering in.

There are a lot of people who keep the blinds closed all day. I'm in a predominantly white area full of middle-class academics. Plenty of houses I walk past have blinds closed.

edited for typo.

Abusive? Who's abusing her?

Maybe she can't be arsed with the nosy neighbour who is constantly watching her house?

Maybe her child died and she isn't ready for the outside world?

Maybe she's disabled and opening the blinds isn't high on her agenda?

Maybe she's watching TV and keeps them closed so the light doesn't reflect?

Maybe she goes out before op gets up in the morning and is out all day and just doesn't open the blinds before she leaves?

I personally would just leave them to it. The woman isn't obliged to open the curtains or use the garden just because she has a baby.
It does seem like you're getting a bit obsessed. Some people are just quiet and keep themselves to themselves. I'm sure you will meet her eventually.
There are several members of the family who have lived next door for 28 years whom I've probably either never seen or only seen a couple times. I don't know why but they're very private and don't go outside much. My newer neighbours I've only seen very briefly in the yard.

This thread is insane! Of course you can take food round, just don’t take anything with animal products/non-halal. We exchange food gifts with our muslim neighbours every Christmas and Eid, it’s a lovely way to reach out and make everyone feel welcome and included.

Why? I think bigotry and imposing your narrow mindset on others shouldnt be allowed.

Nosy neighbour... such as OP :P

You don’t understand. WE often CHOOSE to keep them closed because WE like to observe the rules of hijab. But thank you for your concern.