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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ðaughter had £280 took off her from her Dad

162 replies

NimbleBee · 09/05/2025 14:55

Hi all, my 7yr old DD has been visiting her grandparents with my ex (her Dad) every Wednesday. Her Grandparents have been giving my DD £5 every week for a year so 52x5=£260 saved. DD saved it at grandparents house in a purse, hoping to spend it on her holiday.
Dd told me yesterday that grandparents had given her this money to bring home now with upcoming holiday.
Dds dad took the money from her and spent it in the Ladbrokes gambling and on alcohol and cigarettes.
I am absolutely fuming and will be having words with ex.
Aibu to tell grandparents what has happened?

OP posts:
Pessismistic · 10/05/2025 19:03

I really hope you tell his parents that he is scum stealing from his own dd how awful of him such a shitty thing to do to her. She must be so upset knowing she has been really good saving then he does this to her no wonder he’s your ex horrible nasty man. I hope his parents make him pay it back to her.

CustardySergeant · 10/05/2025 19:08

I am always baffled when OPs make just one post and never return to the thread.

AngelicKaty · 10/05/2025 19:23

@NimbleBee Not only would I tell your DD's grand-parents, I'd report the theft to the police too. I'd love to hear your scum-bag of an ex's explanation for this theft - to you, his DD, his parents AND the police.

madaboutpurple · 10/05/2025 19:41

You could tell your ex that he has two weeks to replace the money and if he doesn't you will make it a police matter. He is disgusting.

Steph4ne · 10/05/2025 19:54

A million percent tell his parents where their money went. In future they should pay it into a child banking account with only you, them and your daughter to access not him

Thisisittheapocalypse · 10/05/2025 20:02

How do you know how he spent the money?

If you are absolutely certain that's what happened, you need to tell his parents. That is shocking behaviour!

Ownedbykitties · 10/05/2025 20:23

Tell them.

ASimpleLampoon · 10/05/2025 20:33

@NimbleBee
Police and social services. Seriously . It's financial abuse.

Also if there's a court order for contact get legal advice asap and ask for limited/supervised contact

Do you get on with GPs? Are they safe people? Can you maintain the relationship without your ex.

Could you discuss with the GPS the possibility of setting up a child's bank account with you or one of them as the trustee to keep her money safe.

I am so sorry for you and your DD and the GPs too.

Proudofmynane · 10/05/2025 20:50

Would the Grandparents be able to replace the money tho? If they're short of cash themselves I maybe wouldn't tell them. Your poor DD tho. What a Prince among men her Dad is.

AllThatGlistensIsntCold · 10/05/2025 21:06

I don't understand how you know this @NimbleBee

Who told you he'd taken the money?

Who told you where he'd spent it?

It's hard to believe that he told your 7 year old daughter he'd been to the bookies, bought fags and beer.

How do you know this?

AllThatGlistensIsntCold · 10/05/2025 21:12

£260 or £280 is a huge amount of spending money for a 7 year old child.

aylis · 10/05/2025 21:19

It doesn't even matter what he spent it on, he stole it. Absolutely tell them.

AllThatGlistensIsntCold · 10/05/2025 21:28

aylis · 10/05/2025 21:19

It doesn't even matter what he spent it on, he stole it. Absolutely tell them.

I'm puzzled. I doubt he told his daughter where the money had gone.
I cannot believe a dad would tell a 7 year old he's spent it a 'Ladbrokes' and on beer and fags.

If the OP knows, who told her?

TheHerboriste · 10/05/2025 21:29

Sickening. Of course you should tell them.

T1Dmama · 10/05/2025 21:42

Where was DD while he popped in Ladbrokes and drank??
yes I’d 100% tell the grandparents!
Id be texting him too and telling him he’s stolen £260 off his daughter and you want it paid back into your account for her asap ! If he doesn’t I’d be tempted to report to police.. what a scum bag

T1Dmama · 10/05/2025 21:43

AllThatGlistensIsntCold · 10/05/2025 21:12

£260 or £280 is a huge amount of spending money for a 7 year old child.

Does that matter? It’s still her money

T1Dmama · 10/05/2025 21:46

ASimpleLampoon · 10/05/2025 20:33

@NimbleBee
Police and social services. Seriously . It's financial abuse.

Also if there's a court order for contact get legal advice asap and ask for limited/supervised contact

Do you get on with GPs? Are they safe people? Can you maintain the relationship without your ex.

Could you discuss with the GPS the possibility of setting up a child's bank account with you or one of them as the trustee to keep her money safe.

I am so sorry for you and your DD and the GPs too.

Agree with this.. maybe ask grandparents to give her cheques that can be paid into her own little account.
man’s yes it is financial abuse.. what a waste of space! I’d stop contact with him too and tell social services why

Fernticket · 10/05/2025 21:53

Your ex is a cunt. Pure and simple

värskekapsas · 10/05/2025 22:03

How awful! She is so little and been saving that money for such a long time for him to just take it away from her. I bet she will remember this for life :( I would absolutely tell grandparents and insist he must reimburse her immediately. What a scumbag|!

GreenFressia · 10/05/2025 22:07

You can go a step further than this and report it to the police, if you so wished.

Iceboy80 · 10/05/2025 22:20

As a father I find this absolutely disgusting, it's shocking tbh to think a father could do this.

DorothyStorm · 10/05/2025 22:24

GreenFressia · 10/05/2025 22:07

You can go a step further than this and report it to the police, if you so wished.

Yes. Absolutely.

What an awful man. But yes tell the grandparents.

SecondVerseSameAsThe1st · 10/05/2025 22:28

Another post and disappear. Waste of time and hard to believe. 🙄

Mmoyo · 10/05/2025 22:30

Glad that he is now your EX.

Pupinskipops · 10/05/2025 23:21

It's theft. They should know.