Ðaughter had £280 took off her from her Dad

[NimbleBee]

Hi all, my 7yr old DD has been visiting her grandparents with my ex (her Dad) every Wednesday. Her Grandparents have been giving my DD £5 every week for a year so 52x5=£260 saved. DD saved it at grandparents house in a purse, hoping to spend it on her holiday.
Dd told me yesterday that grandparents had given her this money to bring home now with upcoming holiday.
Dds dad took the money from her and spent it in the Ladbrokes gambling and on alcohol and cigarettes.
I am absolutely fuming and will be having words with ex.
Aibu to tell grandparents what has happened?

Always report everything. The police will note it and that might be useful in the future.

We had a mini crime wave in our area. It fell on me to chase up why no action had been taken. Turned out not one single event had been reported.

The squeaky wheel gets the oil in Policing terms. Rightly or wrongly, 200 reports gets more action than 5.

thats really sad for your DD. I would tell them, simply because , they need to know that if they want to give DD money, it needs to come to you and not to him.

They might not believe you, but they do need to know that he just took it and spent it.

I think if the little girl said 'Nanny gave me money but daddy took it to look after and didn't give it back' then if you know your ex is the kind of twat who'd steal from his own child so he can gamble and get pissed, I guess it's probably a fair assumption to make that that's what he's done.

But if it's a suspicion/assumption based on past experience then just say that. Don't talk as though it's a cast iron fact when you know no such thing thing. Otherwise you risk making the whole thing look like mad up fairy tale. A seven year old simply wouldn't work out that all of the money had been blown on booze and gambling. It's highly improbable.

Is this another 'Bored Panda' thread?

Tell them, they put that money away for your daughter so she could have some money to enjoy herself. Not only has it gone, it has been stolen and used in a despicable way and by her own father. It is shocking and upsetting and while they are going to feel those emotions they really need to know what has happened.

He’s a disgusting lowlife. Absolutely tell the Grandparents. They deserve to know what thieving scum their son is.
Poor DD

Absolutely agree with the other posters you need to tell them what’s happened so they don’t think your DD has just spent the money. Also, they can keep track for future money they decide to give her. Hopefully they’ll tackle the son and encourage him to give the money back to her

It's appalling but in my sorry experience of a gambler this is what they are like. Ask her DGP to set up a savings account for her age to put the money in there where only you and DD have access

Disgusting person, tell the gp. But what a valuable lesson for your dd - I never had anything like that happen to me at 7 so when a student and working in a bar, at 20, the manager said 'all tips collected should be put in a common jar and I am keeping them and putting them every week in an envelope in my office with every member of staff name on it, and you will get it at the end of the month'. At the end of the month I got 4 pounds.

100% agree.The GPs need to know DD came home without £280. That's likely all the OP knows to be fact. It's up to GPs what they do with that information. My spider sense tells me they will draw the same conclusion as the OP.

Ugh. That's horrible. When I was a kid, my dad would ask to borrow money (that I got from birthdays/christmas) and spend it on weed. My dad didn't live with us and I'd always agree to give him the money because it would be the only time I'd see him.

Yes I would definitely tell them.

They need to know what he’s like so they don’t lose their money again.

Yep update them but do it factually so that they can avoid a repeat

what does your ex say about it and how will he replace the cash

He's scum and they absolutely should know. They were probably so happy to see her saving it away. He has literally robbed his own daughter.

What a prick.
My Mum used to take any birthday/Christmas money that my sibling or I got and spend it on her alcohol and cigarette addictions.

This. They need to be warned.

This!

Be factual with as little passion or opinion as possible. Keep it pure and factual. They will be more likely to follow you if you don't appear to be attacking their son.

@ShadowTheHedgehog that is really sad, I'm sorry your Dad was such a dreadful Father. Op, tell the GPs, they probably know what a lowlife their son is but I'd still tell them.

Absolutely tell them. There's no reason why you should be covering up his bad behaviour. Let him own it.

The thought of a little girl saving money like that and having it stolen is heartbreaking.

What a dreadful, disgusting thing to do to anyone, let alone your own child! I would certainly tell her grandparents, they deserve to know what a shit son they have reared.

The OP's question was....Aibu to tell grandparents what has happened?
My answer... Of course not.

Obviously you should tell them, they’ve basically just given it to him and he’s a disgusting thief. 🤬

Can you open a bank account for your dd and ask her grandparents to transfer money in there directly? I appreciate it takes away the fun of saving cash in a piggy bank but at least it will be safe.

Happened to me as a child too. My father also stole our belongings including jewellery and heirlooms belonging to me and my sister. He was addicted to alcohol.

You need to tell the grandparents to pass money direct to you or pay it into an account where your ex doesn’t have access. I think it’s highly likely that other money or gifts passed via him have been stolen.

Can you enlist the grandparents support in limiting access. Ex’s primary relationship is his addictions and not your daughter.

This happens far more than people realise. Have a friend whose daughter was kindly going around to stand watch TV/be company for her great gran. She wasn’t young (mid 30s) and had found where the GG was keeping her cash. So she was stealing it.
Not due to addiction just because she was short of money and wanted nice things.
It broke her mum’s heart when she found out. But then the excuses started and it was brushed under the carpet.