Ðaughter had £280 took off her from her Dad

[NimbleBee]

Hi all, my 7yr old DD has been visiting her grandparents with my ex (her Dad) every Wednesday. Her Grandparents have been giving my DD £5 every week for a year so 52x5=£260 saved. DD saved it at grandparents house in a purse, hoping to spend it on her holiday.
Dd told me yesterday that grandparents had given her this money to bring home now with upcoming holiday.
Dds dad took the money from her and spent it in the Ladbrokes gambling and on alcohol and cigarettes.
I am absolutely fuming and will be having words with ex.
Aibu to tell grandparents what has happened?

of course you tell them.
And ask in the future any ££ for your DD please be handed to you on her behalf as she needs protecting from her good for nothing father.

What a wanker he is.

I would talk to the Grandparents and suggest that any money in future is put straight into a bank account that only they or you have access to.

Agree, but all the OP has to do is tell the Grandparents that the money hasn't come hone with DD. It's up to them to establish where it actually went.

It's an odd question, though. Self evidently telling the Grandparents is the right thing to do.

Exactly this, the grandparents must know already then surely. The money has been in their house all this time, surely when the child went to take the purse and it was empty the grandparents would be aware of this as the kid has no money to take home.

But the father has probably bad mouthed the mother to his parents and said she would probably spend it, therefore they decided to keep the money at their house

An account of some sort needs to be set up for her

When Ds gf told me her brother took her cash point card and stole everything she had (£400) I thought that was the lowest of the low.

@NimbleBee Your H is lower.

Absolutely say something

Bump

That's the lowest of the low. Absolutely tell his parents. I bet he's stolen off of them too and it might answer a few questions. They'll also know to give the pocket money in a more secure way.

It might be worth setting up a rooster or go Henry account so that she doesn't have cash. Unfortunately, dad can't be trusted.

Why does thar mean in this context?

Of course the OP should tell the grandparents, why is it even a question?

I don't agree with your point and I do have experience here on the subject. The child wouldn't make a detailed assumption like that. It's too detailed for a child and alot of adults smoke for example that's not out of the ordinary as such. And to pinpoint the name of the betting office... unlikely.

I think she means the post seems fake.

I have suspicions too. Why would someone need to ask if stealing from a 7yo DD was wrong?

Something similar happened with me about 20 years ago.Great grandparent on dad’s side gave my son, then aged 2 £4.5k for his future. My partner at the time, his dad, gambled it all. I told his mother ( my son’s grandparent). She didn’t react well. Blamed it on me for having a PC in the house he could gamble on!

Be prepared for the mother to make excuses for her son, but absolutely tell her.

Have a plan B ready for when he says "What? Never! I gave it to her Mum! She's always lying about me, and now she's getting our daughter to lie about me too!". They're his parents, they want to think the best of him, they might even start to believe it.

Also why do some posters have to have ‘ suspicions’ a post is fake? It’s like any experience/ way of thinking other than their own is invalid and so must be fake. It’s such an odd take.

How do you know that’s what he did - was DD with him , is she sure ?
Id ring the DGP to check that she did actually have £280 in her purse and to check that they have definitely given it to their DS to bring home to you before accusing anyone .
If he has done it I’d challenge him directly and threaten to report him for theft unless he replaces the money immediately. I’d also think twice about leaving DD in his care if he spends his time with her gambling & drinking

Don't tell the grandparents that their son stole the money they had saved?

All the above obvious affirmations aren't helping. The OP needs good solid advice.

Tell the grandparents and everyone that could possibly deal with your ex and money/gifts for your daughter.

Your ex has a serious problem and can't be trusted with money or property that isn't his.

Simply put, he has problems. I'd talk with him if that's possible, but he needs help.

Don't not assume anything anyone will do, it's not fair on others. You stay straight as an arrow and focused. Don't not concern yourself with other people's opinions or responses. Make yourself clear and move on.

Yes tell the grandparents not so they feel they have to replace the money but so in future they give the money to you and not their Dad. And hopefully so they make their son replace the money.

@NimbleBee i wish the 1% who say the op is unreasonable would own up¬!!

what an absolutely shitty thing to do to a young child!! I know that if i find any money on the floor in their rooms then it goes into a bowl in their rooms. same goes for the odd fiver in the washing machine. if it looks like it has come out of their trackies then it goes into their room. different if it comes out of dh's jeans, then it is mine!

Oh come in, the police will do nothing.

You still report it, then there is a record. And they usually would actually come out since it is a child involved.

What an absolutely terrible man. So disgusting!