Apparently I’m attention seeking

[PooStep]

Currently on holiday with DH, MIL, FIL, SIL and her husband.
Before we even got here they had all been going on about this specific breakfast in the specific restaurant that is a local speciality. It was decided we would go there on our first morning and get this item.
So first morning, this item is mentioned again and they’re all excited about getting it. The way they were going on I was assuming this item was all they sold in the morning so I said too I was up for trying it.

We got to the restaurant- sat down and FIL told the waitress we wanted 6 of said item. I then said “actually, I wouldn’t mind having a Quick Look at the menu?”. I saw MIL roll her eyes and I’m pretty sure SIL pulled a face too but can’t be certain. DH then whispered to me “don’t start this now for gods sake” !? Was asking for the menu really so bad? I’d noticed as we walked in that everyone was eating different things so clearly there was more on offer than this one item. I ended up choosing something different, I didn’t realise however that mine would take longer to arrive so I was sat without anything while they all ate theirs. SILs husband did say “shall we wait until Poostep’s arrives?” And MIL said “no I don’t think so, we came in for these didn’t we, I don’t want mine going cold”. So they all ate. Mine arrived 15 minutes later and naturally I was sat eating on my own after they all finished.
later DH asked me if I was going to be seeking attention throughout the holiday. So were they right to be annoyed?

I think you were being annoying unless there was a good reason not to join in the shared experience of trying this unique breakfast item - such as you dislike an ingredient or are allergic/intolerant to one.

It was just a one off presumably. Likewise with the cocktail. They’re just shared experiences - not so much about the actual food/drink itself. I think it’s you who doesn’t like your in laws - did DH invite them on holiday and you’re passive aggressively upsetting the apple cart?

Definitely more to this for everyone to be so annoyed with you for such a seemingly trivial thing.

And what breakfast item takes another 15 mins?! The cafe should have brought everything together and that should have been made clear by your family.

It's them who are odd not you! You're an adult and you can eat what you like!!

Your DH's loyalties lie with his family and not you. He sounds like a shitty husband.

The restaurant should have had your meals ready at the same time and served together.

What?? Surely as a grown woman she’s entitled to her own choice of food at EVERY meal 🙄

This. OP completely misread the room and what the family wanted from this.
She then did a similar thing of HAVING to be different with pineapple mocktails.
The time to address her desire to be different is a quiet conversation with her husband, to explain that sometimes she would like it if others went along with her choices or accepted her wish to have something different. Not be contrary in the moment.

I am guessing pastel de nata. Proper freshly baked ones.

I dunno, then everyone would be steaming at OP for being the cause of delay, as the pastry-type-foodstuff could clearly be served swiftly so the hold-up would be prepping OP's. I think it's better that they sodded off so she could enjoy hers without the eyerolling judgement.

Grown adults can choose and eat what they like.

Your 2nd update makes you sound attention seeking tbh. How often do you need to do something completely different? Sounds a bit tiresome truth be told. I'd roll my eyes at you too.

I don't understand what different what you eat and drunk makes to them. You aren't all clones of each other and you don't need to like the same thing. TBH, I don't think they like you very much and neither does your husband. Attention seeking my arse. I'd be having a very firm and clear word with my husband I'd I was you. I wouldn't holiday with them again and I'd reconsider the relationship.

But what if OP had ordered the MBI, taken two bites of it, and thought "christ, this is disgusting"? Would everyone still be delighted with their experience if she said she didn't like it? Or would she be required to eat all of it and pretend she enjoyed it? Or be accused of attention-seeking if she expressed anything other than "yes, I too think that was amazing"? It's just bizarre.

I don't believe for a second that you thought the cafe only served one breakfast item.

All this sheep-like behaviour sounds so tedious!

Do you think your DH prefers them to you?

I think their family dynamic sounds weird. Are they generally so enmeshed?

Yanbu to eat what you want but yabu if you expected them to delay eating until yours had arrived and theirs had gone cold. They should have all been served together really as it is annoying hanging around like that and they were all really excited. I think you took the shine off their shared experience

You sound irritating and high maintenance

If their food is sent hot then it's fair for them to eat it instead of waiting for you, it was the restaurant that made a mistake there.

DH and I are annoying in liking to share food, so regardless of their top dish we would always want to get something different and have half each (or different amounts if we have different preferences). We would be your ILs absolute worst nightmare!! People do look at us like we're crazy when we order sometimes, I remember my dad looking baffled in early days saying "I can just buy an extra one". I do get that it's mildly frustrating waiting for others to pick, but I also think a tribe of 6 adults constantly ordering the same thing is even weirder than us sharing.

How is your DH at home or otherwise away from ILs, is he able to pick his own food and drinks?

I grew up in a family that was strict with food so naturally if i went somewhere to eat something with other people as an adult I wouldn't dream of asking for a menu & picking something else that would take an extra 30 minutes to arrive & finish because I saw other people eating different dishes

Obviously that's not the case for other people though so I'm only following along to find out what dish it is/what you had cause I'm nosy

I'm totally with @PooStep

I can't think of anything worse than having to eat the same thing en masse.

For instance....where we holiday, there's a couple of places that do massive English breakfasts. I don't eat eggs, I am really fussy about sausages so an English breakfast is wasted on me. We've been with friends who say....let's go for an English breakfast! Fine, but I don't want one, I always just have a croissant or a tostados. Nobody cares!

I don’t think I have form for being difficult at all, my only crime is liking to try different things

When you say ‘different’, what do you mean? Because the mystery dish WOULD have been different - you had never tried it before.

If you mean ‘different’ as in, your in-laws say ‘black’, so you say ‘white’, just for the sake of being different, then yes, that could be rather wearing.

OP I am totally with you. I an not a child and I choose what i eat and drink. If you all ordered together in the cafe then all the dishes should have been brought together but if not then its no biggie to tell the others to start while theirs are hot. You don't need to have an allergy to JUST BLOODY WANT TO CHOOSE FOR YOURSELF. If your husband doesn't understand this then I'd be making clear that he learns to live with it ir leaves but he NEVER sides with his family against you. And no more holidays with the in laws

OP shouldn't have to negotiate being allowed to make her own food and drink choices if her preferences are different to her PIL's. If she had insisted on them having what she is having, that would be unreasonable. They are obviously one of those 'close' families that live in each other's pockets and are offended by 'outsiders' who don't sign up to their clannish rules and enmeshed behaviour.

Your only crime is wanting to try new things? You mean, like the thing they were all excited about and told you about and wanted you to try it? But nope, your need to try new things did not extend to what they suggested and wanted to bring you there, you had to pick something else. And you sound annoyed that they ate before yours arrived? Were they meant to leave theirs to go cold? Proper manners are clear; you only wait when food is served cold. It food is hot, you don’t wait.

You do sound difficult. Of course it’s normally fine to order what you want but when a group has told you this place is famous for X, they’re excited to go and for you to try it and for it to be a bit of a family experience then, unless you know you hate it or are allergic, you just try the damn dish. You are difficult. Your husbands response of “do you need to start this now” suggests that you do have a habit of making group situations about you when really, it’s something you should just join in with.

Have whatever food you want another time, but on a planned outing for a specific thing that they wanted you to try, you just try it.

Doing the same with the drink didnt help your reputation but i’d say that one wasn’t rude. They would have taken is as rude after your performance at breakfast though.

The fact that you make a point of using initial upper case every time you say ‘a Quick Look’ suggests that you have proudly made this into a feature of your personality. It’s also interesting that, in both your examples, your item took longer than everyone else’s and you were miffed that they didn’t wait for you.

Based on this, and on the reactions of your husband and everyone else to your behaviour, my guess is that you are absolutely are attention-seeking and turn everything into a performance. Particularly if, as someone else suggested, your breakfast example was akin to going to place for cinnamon buns and ordering a full English.

oh I do. have you not seen the James Martin travels where he goes to specialist cafes?