Apparently I’m attention seeking

[PooStep]

Currently on holiday with DH, MIL, FIL, SIL and her husband.
Before we even got here they had all been going on about this specific breakfast in the specific restaurant that is a local speciality. It was decided we would go there on our first morning and get this item.
So first morning, this item is mentioned again and they’re all excited about getting it. The way they were going on I was assuming this item was all they sold in the morning so I said too I was up for trying it.

We got to the restaurant- sat down and FIL told the waitress we wanted 6 of said item. I then said “actually, I wouldn’t mind having a Quick Look at the menu?”. I saw MIL roll her eyes and I’m pretty sure SIL pulled a face too but can’t be certain. DH then whispered to me “don’t start this now for gods sake” !? Was asking for the menu really so bad? I’d noticed as we walked in that everyone was eating different things so clearly there was more on offer than this one item. I ended up choosing something different, I didn’t realise however that mine would take longer to arrive so I was sat without anything while they all ate theirs. SILs husband did say “shall we wait until Poostep’s arrives?” And MIL said “no I don’t think so, we came in for these didn’t we, I don’t want mine going cold”. So they all ate. Mine arrived 15 minutes later and naturally I was sat eating on my own after they all finished.
later DH asked me if I was going to be seeking attention throughout the holiday. So were they right to be annoyed?

I can assure you the ones from Belém are nothing like the Tesco custard tarts!

She's a grown women, why should she 'go along with everyone else' she can order whatever she wants!

No, not common at all for me THANK GOD, because I would never expect a grown ass adult to order the same thing as me in a restaurant.

I also would never assume a grown ass adult would be offended and pissed off if I decided to order my own meal in a restaurant.

I guess I’m just really lucky that my family aren’t controlling weirdos and that I was brought up to be independent, and not relying on the food choices of others to have a good holiday. Very lucky indeed.

Because she ordered a cooked breakfast when everyone else was having pastries

Tbf that didn't actually happen, that's just been speculation on the part of other posters.

I'm with the ILs on this one. Would it really kill you to go along with things a bit especially if they are paying?

It's not "control what they eat and drink".
It's that if someone says "come here and try the churros" and you say "yes", then when you get there you try the churros. You don't get there and then say you want something else.

Though the OP could clarify if she would only disclose what the Mystery Breakfast Dish was…

I wouldn't have minded the others eating as soon as their food arrived. But there's no way you can call someone attention seeking for choosing what they want in a restaurant.
Just tell him 'I didn't want that item. I don't see why everyone is obliged to order the same thing, even if they don't want to eat it.'
He sounds like an arsehole.

I’d say the biggest worry with all this is that your DH seems to be infuriated by you as well and clearly siding with his family. This doesn’t bode well!

And Pastel de Nata is just a posh overrated egg custard that you can get 2 for £3 from Tesco.

There is no similarity whatsoever between these two items in terms of taste, and little overlap of ingredients, either, I suspect.

But she did also say that was a scenario pretty close to the actual one.

You are absolutely awful to travel with.

I’ve changed my opinion after reading your additional posts.

You want everyone waiting on you. That is what makes you attention seeking. You react when they don’t wait for you. That is attention seeking. You play the victim when people point out they have had enough of your behaviour. That is attention seeking. Even this post right now - you are attention seeking!!

You had everyone wait on you while you washed your hair and had a coffee. If everyone is dressed and ready to go you should apologise - tell them you will put your hair up quickly and shoes on and be out the door.

You made everyone wait on you while you styled your hair and had a coffee- what the absolute F?!

This is complete narcissist behaviour on your part. You are ruining everyone else’s holiday.

If you get frizzy hair then you add some serum or leave in conditioner and you put it in a bun.

I’m completely with your husband on this. What is wrong with you?!

Though the OP could clarify if she would only disclose what the Mystery Breakfast Dish was…

Right? I am literally keeping up with the thread in the hope of finding out.

What a deeply unpleasant person you are
And why should OP eat something she doesn't want?
I pity anyone going on holiday with you

It does kinda sound like they wanted to go and get this particular item, not go out to eat in general and then you said you wanted to come along to eat it and ordered something different.

It sounds like you’re annoying them all, why don’t you relax by yourself and let them go off together for a bit. Travelling can be stressful and people can get sensitive to different behaviour.

That's not really what has happened, imo. OP has been asked about things in advance. She agrees to them. Then at the last minute (as her FiL is actually placing the order) she changes her mind and wants to see the menu. She then holds the group up as her order took so much longer to arrive and seems a bit put out that the rest of the group ate their dish rather than let it get cold sitting waiting for hers to arrive.

She has been mysterious about the dish they went to eat. l suspect this is because it was the kind of dish that required little preparation and the dish she ordered DID require time to prepare. So anyone with common sense would have realised they'd be served at different times.

Then she holds the entire group up by insisting on washing and drying her hair and having coffee, despite knowing that they intended to set off early. There seems to be a basic lack of common sense.

I think on a holiday being paid for by the in-laws, either she should agree to do certain things (and then DO them) OR say, nah, I don't fancy that, you guys go off and do it, I won't hold you up.

What she is actually doing is just pissing them off.

I'll repeat:
It's that if someone says "come here and try the churros" and you say "yes", then when you get there you try the churros. You don't get there and then say you want something else.

Not anyone expecting you to eat the same as them all the time. Just on this one specific occasion when you've agreed to it beforehand.

You say you've never invited someone to a restaurant to try something you really like? That may be why you don't get it.

I don't think you are being attention seeking, they are being very rigid and are dictating even small things.
But, now you have said that IL's are paying for this holiday, it makes more sense.
OP, this is a lesson for you to learn, it's about control.

The only thing you did wrong was going on holiday with a control freak MIL and her spineless son

Sounds like six of one and half a dozen of the other.

ILs sound very over-invested in everyone toeing the line with their choices and expectations.

OP seems to have form for being a bit faffy.

Communication seems poor from the husband -if a decision had been made that I wasn’t aware of, I’d expect to be told when to be ready with more than 2 minutes notice.

I don't necessarily disagree with you, but the fact that the PIL pay for these holidays changes things somewhat. If I were OP, I wouldn't go on these holidays, but I suspect that would cause trouble with her DH because he clearly doesn't support her behaviour.

Is your marriage on the rocks OP? I only say this as your DH seems to be calling you attention seeking an awful lot for someone who is conversing with their life long soul mate. Do you have DCs?

Honestly, YANBU, they sound utterly unbearable. What’s with the strict schedule?? Your DH sounds like a wet blanket. How much free time do you have? Why can no one leave the holiday home between 2-4pm?

I cannot stand holidays with in laws. They themselves are ok, but people pleased and BIL/SIL rule the roost, boss everyone around and have the most outrageous requests. We weren’t allowed to go for dinner, pre and post pandemic! They just outright refused to nap DC in pram like everyone else does so we had to eat in villa every night.

I don't see why it matters,but I also don't see why anyone wouldn't say.

Pastry, egg custard. Ah its the same.

🔨 (that's supposed to be a gavel)

Well, that's the thing. If someone else is paying then you do put yourself under obligation to them. Brings to mind that old saying 'there's no such thing as a free lunch'. They pay - therefore they get to buy every second of your time. They dictate what you do with it, have a timetable of when you go for walks, and order your meals for you in restaurants. You relinquish your own mind for the duration.

To me there is no question that this price is too high. The solution: never go on holiday or even on a weekend away with them again.