Apparently I’m attention seeking

[PooStep]

Currently on holiday with DH, MIL, FIL, SIL and her husband.
Before we even got here they had all been going on about this specific breakfast in the specific restaurant that is a local speciality. It was decided we would go there on our first morning and get this item.
So first morning, this item is mentioned again and they’re all excited about getting it. The way they were going on I was assuming this item was all they sold in the morning so I said too I was up for trying it.

We got to the restaurant- sat down and FIL told the waitress we wanted 6 of said item. I then said “actually, I wouldn’t mind having a Quick Look at the menu?”. I saw MIL roll her eyes and I’m pretty sure SIL pulled a face too but can’t be certain. DH then whispered to me “don’t start this now for gods sake” !? Was asking for the menu really so bad? I’d noticed as we walked in that everyone was eating different things so clearly there was more on offer than this one item. I ended up choosing something different, I didn’t realise however that mine would take longer to arrive so I was sat without anything while they all ate theirs. SILs husband did say “shall we wait until Poostep’s arrives?” And MIL said “no I don’t think so, we came in for these didn’t we, I don’t want mine going cold”. So they all ate. Mine arrived 15 minutes later and naturally I was sat eating on my own after they all finished.
later DH asked me if I was going to be seeking attention throughout the holiday. So were they right to be annoyed?

I sort of understand - PIL once took us to a restaurant because they love the mussels there. DH happily went along with it. FIL was literally ordering for all 4 of us when I interrupted and placed my own order. There was definitely surprise around the table and when the food came lots of "ooh these are the best mussels I've ever had. bet you wish you'd ordered this don't you" kind of conversation....

But the walk? You were told they were leaving early and then you had a shower and needed to dry your hair?! That does feel like you were trying to slow them all down tbh.

If you really don't get along with them all then don't go on holiday with them again? easy.

Think you were the problem in that last example, you should have dried your hair off then gone down ready to go out

From your latest update I can see there may be a few issues.

Your DH said everyone would be heading out early. The others are all ready to go and you announce you want to dry your hair and have a coffee when everybody else is ready to go.

The shared breakfast I can also see that it would have been polite to join in their recommendation. The pineapple cocktail was a have one or not choice as well.

Your dh jumping straight to “don’t start this now for gods sake” suggests a massive back story. You clearly have form for upsetting this particular group of people. It may be the case that you are difficult and attention seeking or it may be the case that the expectations of towing the line are ridiculously high. Either way, you haven't found your tribe in this group of people.

Sorry the more updates I’m reading from the OP, the more I’m inclined to believe she’s a pain in the arse and goes out of her way to be different.

Hmm again if you knew that everyone was heading off early why wash your hair then expect everyone to wait for you to dry it and have a coffee?

This is what I mean by you seem to be a bit of a contrarian which gets very tiresome.

Your DH and his family do not like you OP. That is the crux of the matter. They seem to be setting up situations to make you out to be an “attention seeker” at every possible opportunity.

I would not be prepared to have anybody else tell me what to eat, drink or do - you are not a child. I think they have an issue with your self-assurance. Women having confidence is heavily frowned upon by certain types.

They've been telling her for weeks by the sound of this that these whatevers are amazing and she has to try them. She gets there and says "Oh there's a menu? Oh I'll have a quick look and see if they have anything that looks nice to me, because I can't possibly accept this recommendation 20 people have been making for weeks if I see something I like the sound of".

I'd be incredibly pissed off with the self-centredness of anyone who did that. Just try the fucking thing.

Doesn't seem she'd need to go far out of her way to be different from that lot.

There's those people who always want additional back and forth with the staff.

Do you feel you’re being set up somewhat to look difficult? I don’t like feeling rushed and in this example I would feel cross that I hadn’t been told we were leaving at a specific time. It would feel very unfair.

With the drinks, that behaviour- them walking off-is just rude. Not everyone likes pineapple. So unless you habitually take ten minutes to choose a drink, asking loads of questions about each option and/or asking for amendments in the style of Sally from When Harry Met Sally, then I also don’t think that’s unreasonable. However, if you ARE, in fact, Sally, then they are probably fed up of it and making a point.

But nobody specified a time, so how can the OP have known? They seem to be setting her up to be honest. There must have been some conversation between them about what time they wanted to set off for them to have coordinated so well, so why didn’t they just tell the OP? If they had told her and she was running late then that’s another thing, but that’s not the case here.

I was originally on your side but the more you post, it's becoming obvious that you're being a complete pain in the arse.

Tell them before you go to the special mussel restaurant specially for the mussels that you don't really want/like mussels. Waiting until you get there and then ordering something else is rude.

You're not really a team player, are you?

Do you ever just go with the flow?

I wouldn't call you attention seeking. But you are coming across as difficult.

If everyone else was ready to go there is no way I would have said I wanted a coffee before we left. Mind you, my DH would have got me one when he got his. He seems to be sabotaging you a bit here.

The whole thing comes across as everyone wanting their own way on every single thing and no one willing to be flexible. I'd make this your last joint holiday.

They said they were leaving early. That means 'get your act together now as quickly as you can', not 'arse about in the shower for ages and then perform weird extended hair styling rituals and then faff with coffee and stretch out on a lounger saying "oh, how lovely and relaxing' while everyone else is champing at the bit to get going'.

If my partner gets up and says, “We’ll be leaving early so I’m going down for a coffee while you get ready,” I would not then have a long shower and wash my hair, need to dry my hair and want to stop and have a coffee. When you’re told you’re leaving early and he is up and having coffee, you get up and get ready. Shower, dress, downstairs. It isn’t difficult. OP sounds like she has zero awareness and cannot read a room. The family just sound fed up of her, which then leads to unreasonable behaviour. But I don’t think they’re actually wrong.

Yes there la clearly a conversation going on behind OP’s back where the narrative is that she is attention seeking.

How is that rude? They were going there because one couple really liked mussels - that doesn’t mean everyone has to eat them. It’s far more rude to assume that everyone wants to eat the mussels and order without checking with them.

Really? Not everybody likes the same things. You could tell me that restaurant X does the most amazing chicken sandwich on the planet and I must try it but I still wouldn’t, because I don’t like chicken. That doesn’t mean I cannot go with you and - shock horror - pick something else. The OP did not suggest they go to another restaurant or that anybody else should change what they wanted, she just wanted to pick her own breakfast.

Are people really this tribal?

Are you happily married OP? Do you trust your husband to be supportive and fair to you? To not deliberately bring you down? Because if so, and he's calling you an attention seeker, then it's worth reflecting on your behaviour. If you don't then you may want to reflect on your marriage. Because all the business about whether you or his family are right is very situation specific and you are obviously portraying it to us from your own perspective, and we don't know any of you. Your husband does. So if he's a good man that you trust, his opinion is probably more useful here.

She didn't want to!

It is simply not reasonable to dictate to others what they should eat.

This forum is notorious for going out of its way to be contrary with OPs for the sake of some good entertainment. This thread and this post are a case in point.

Spot on!

Oh I've read all of OPs posts now. This is the person I mean. If you offer a cheese sandwich, they want cheese AND fresh tomato warmed in the sun for five mins. They're always after a bit more, getting their money's worth, making sure they get in first, that kind of thing. And always want the extra communication. I have an aunt like this and she will.always ask the driver if he is going to X even though we have checked and know it is going to X, it says it on the front of the bus.

It's just too much and it builds up and up. When we all used to go away to Jamaica, we'd make sure we were in a different part of the country to her as much as possible so she didn't do all that stuff in 35 degree heat.