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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD - Husband I’m well and I’m due to go on holiday

187 replies

AmIEnough · 08/05/2025 07:36

Hi all! I’m posting for a bit of advice here as I really don’t know what to do. My DH has been on Mounjaro for a period of time and about a month ago became very unwell with an upset tummy. He wasn’t replacing fluids as much as he should and ended up incredibly dehydrated and after three days of continually getting worse he finally collapsed. Long story short I ended up calling an ambulance and they took him into hospital where they gave him bags and bags of fluid and IV antibiotics. He was there overnight and it transpires that they were incredibly worried about him because he has heart disease and his haemoglobin levels were so high that his blood was really thick and they were concerned that he was going to have a heart attack. They actually told him that had I not called the ambulance when I did they would be looking at a very different situation.

Fast forward to today and he’s now got an upset tummy again. I think self-inflicted because he’s gone up to the next dose having only been on the lower dose for one week which is not the norm.

He’s managing it better as he’s drinking a lot and I’ve bought him isotonic drinks to help replace the salts and electrolytes but my dilemma is that my 18-year-old daughter and I are due to go on holiday on Saturday for the first girls only holiday we’ve ever had. It’s taken me a year to save up for it and we’ve booked ourselves a couple of trips.

My question is do we go or do I cancel it or try and rearrange it? I think I’ll probably end up losing all my money and my daughter will be devastated, as will I of course but I just can’t predict how my husband is going to be this time round and whether he will manage things better knowing that his fluid intake was nowhere near sufficient last time.

Just looking for advice really.

To add, his 21-year-old son also lives here and will be around.

OP posts:
Pomegranatecarnage · 08/05/2025 07:40

You should go. And your husband needs to take the correct dosage or stop taking it for a while. He needs to be on each dose for four weeks minimum.

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 08/05/2025 07:42

His bahaviour is causing him problems. He seems quite content to play dice with his health, despite being so ill, he's happily fucking around with dosage, etc.
He's a grown man. If he gets ill again, hexand his adult son can sort it.
Don't deny your daughter and you a booked holiday. He's a fuckwit, and you are not his mother

Dozer · 08/05/2025 07:44

Go on holiday.

Sunbline · 08/05/2025 07:46

You should go, he will have his son around in case he's poorly again. Wild he's still taking it and still being a bit foolish on it by the sound of it seen as though he was so poorly.

Flipslop · 08/05/2025 07:47

He’s messing with his health very irresponsibly, go on your holiday. For your peace of mind is there someone who can check on him?

SelinaPlace · 08/05/2025 07:48

Go on the holiday. Your DH’s irresponsibility in managing his own health should not deprive you and your daughter of a long-anticipated holiday together.

EggnogNoggin · 08/05/2025 07:48

He's an adult living with another adult, of course you go on holiday.

Does he normally get ill when you're due to go away or out with friends?

Not saying he faked the first incident but possible he is playing up to a possible second one if its convenient for him.

Winter2020 · 08/05/2025 07:48

You should go but make sure his adult son knows when to seek medical help.

I would be raging at my husband for increasing his dose again- risking his health and no regard for your plans.

Go and have a great time. Tell your husband no more Mounjaro until after you are back at least.

InSpainTheRain · 08/05/2025 07:50

You should go. He has a 21 year old with him and he needs to manage his condition better. Otherwise you'll always be in a state of "I couldn't do X because of DH". Enjoy your hard earned time with you DD.

hopeishere · 08/05/2025 07:52

Messing about with the dose is extremely irresponsible given he has underlying health issues. Go on the holiday but I doubt you will be able to relax.

Radionowhere · 08/05/2025 07:53

Go. Absolutely 💯 go.
Is he okay with you going? Upping his dose with no regard for the problems he's had sounds awfully like he's trying to manipulate you into not going.

Digdongdoo · 08/05/2025 07:54

Of course you go. He's a grown up who can take responsibility for his own health. He really shouldn't have upped his dose, that was really stupid and selfish. Almost like he's done it on purpose...

CagneyNYPD1 · 08/05/2025 07:55

Go on your holiday.

if it makes you feel better, you can FaceTime him while away to check he is ok.

But he is a grown man playing silly buggars with strong meds. Do not sacrifice your time with your dd because of his recklessness. I say this as someone who is also on WLI.

HideousKinky · 08/05/2025 08:18

Your husband must take responsibility for himself

Daleksatemyshed · 08/05/2025 08:21

He got seriously ill because he's being daft, if you take medication you follow the rules for use. He's a grown man Op, you shouldn't have to miss out to stay at home and keep an eye on him, you're his DW not his DM

EnjoythemoneyJane · 08/05/2025 08:23

My answer would be different if he was seriously ill and it was outside his control, but his health problems are entirely of his own making - messing with dosages, failing to hydrate himself. It sounds like you feel you’re responsible for monitoring even his most basic needs. He’s a grown man, not a child, and you’re not his mother or his emotional support animal.

I understand you’re worried about him, but he can surely manage his own health for a few days - especially with another adult in the house who can make an emergency call in the unlikely event that it’s needed. Don’t cancel or ruin this holiday for yourself and DD, it’s not fair on either of you.

HumptyNumptyDumpty · 08/05/2025 08:24

Go on holiday.

Hamandpineapplepizza · 08/05/2025 08:25

Go, he's been really irresponsible upping his dose.
Could you encourage him to speak to a doctor though so at least he nips any problems in the bud this time

RentalWoesNotFun · 08/05/2025 08:32

Go on holiday.
Before I went thought I’d have a Serious Talk with him to say I know you’re keen but if you overdo it youve been told you’ll have a heart attack or stroke. That could mean permanent paralysis or death. It’s not worth the risk. And your son will end up mentally scarred if anything happens to you and he feels responsible (even though he’s 1000% not). The body can only process the fat and get rid of it at its own pace. You need to be careful. You can’t rush this or it won’t work properly. There are no shortcuts. There are rules and it’s expensive for a reason. If you break the rules you’ll be permanently damaged or dead. You need to take actually following the rules more seriously.

Then I’d go. I don’t think I could respect someone if he messed this up again after nearly dying. Stupid man.

Codlingmoths · 08/05/2025 08:39

Tell him to drop the dose back, drink min 2l a day and if he wants to be dead go ahead and don’t bother following the doctors instructions, your going on holiday because if he can’t manage that you don’t know how you feel about him anyway. but if that’s his plan can he first write to his kids snd say it would have been easy to stay here for you but I just couldn’t be bothered. And then go on holiday.

I have zero attraction to stupid, can you tell? I came on this thread expecting to say of course you need to skip the holiday and stay with your dh, but I wasn’t expecting his ill health to be solely self inflicted.

Enrichetta · 08/05/2025 08:42

Go go go !!!!

Do go.

Don't you even consider not going!

LurkyMcLurkinson · 08/05/2025 08:43

Definitely go. If he’s going to start taking responsibility for his health this would be a great time to start.

edwinbear · 08/05/2025 08:45

Go on holiday. He has another adult in the house if there are any issues, but he's being wreckless with the Mounjaro (and I say that as someone on it myself). Why on earth has a gone up a dose when he had issues at the last dosage? What did the doctors say about him remaining on it given it's given him serious complications?

andtheworldrollson · 08/05/2025 08:46

Oh good grief your poor thing

edit to Remove random billet point

he is being a total prat and you are naturally worried about it and he could kill himslef which would be totally his own fault - I can see your worry

be very very blunt with him but go on holiday - he’s an adult and his stupidity shouldn’t dictate your life

shellyleppard · 08/05/2025 08:47

Your husband is a grown up and quite capable of looking after himself.....go and enjoy your holiday.