WWYD - Husband I’m well and I’m due to go on holiday

[AmIEnough]

Hi all! I’m posting for a bit of advice here as I really don’t know what to do. My DH has been on Mounjaro for a period of time and about a month ago became very unwell with an upset tummy. He wasn’t replacing fluids as much as he should and ended up incredibly dehydrated and after three days of continually getting worse he finally collapsed. Long story short I ended up calling an ambulance and they took him into hospital where they gave him bags and bags of fluid and IV antibiotics. He was there overnight and it transpires that they were incredibly worried about him because he has heart disease and his haemoglobin levels were so high that his blood was really thick and they were concerned that he was going to have a heart attack. They actually told him that had I not called the ambulance when I did they would be looking at a very different situation.

Fast forward to today and he’s now got an upset tummy again. I think self-inflicted because he’s gone up to the next dose having only been on the lower dose for one week which is not the norm.

He’s managing it better as he’s drinking a lot and I’ve bought him isotonic drinks to help replace the salts and electrolytes but my dilemma is that my 18-year-old daughter and I are due to go on holiday on Saturday for the first girls only holiday we’ve ever had. It’s taken me a year to save up for it and we’ve booked ourselves a couple of trips.

My question is do we go or do I cancel it or try and rearrange it? I think I’ll probably end up losing all my money and my daughter will be devastated, as will I of course but I just can’t predict how my husband is going to be this time round and whether he will manage things better knowing that his fluid intake was nowhere near sufficient last time.

Just looking for advice really.

To add, his 21-year-old son also lives here and will be around.

Just go. I wouldn't give it or him a second thought.

I take MJ so no judgment there. But he is being completely irresponsible in its use. Messing around with doses, not taking in enough fluid, especially if he has heart disease. All this resulting in wasting emergency services time and money. he sounds completely irresponsible and reckless.

I'd be bloody furious at him. You're not his mother or his nurse. I hope you and your DD have a lovely holiday.

He's an adult and presumably has no severe mental health issues? Go.

This is exactly what I was thinking.

He needs to go back down to the previous dose till your back from holiday. Why did he go up too soon?

Please don't cancel your holiday.

How is this even in question? He is a grown adult, presumably in his 40s/50s. He doesn't need mothering!

I'm probably missing the point here, but the post isn't clear. Did the medication partly cause the issue?

If so, I am amazed the doctor gave him the all clear to keep taking it. And also if he has heart problems generally, then a stomach upset could indicate many things.

As everyone else has said - go!!

Hes a grown up with an adult son at home.

Go. You can't put your life on hold bc your dh chooses to abuse a weight loss medication.

Put your dd and yourself first in this instance.

Go on your holiday, he is an adult and it is his responsibility - is the advice given here.
Let us step back for a moment and see - this is clearly an adult who can't dose correctly and is likely to cause major harm to his health. This is also a woman who clearly cares for her husband, so if he becomes bed-ridden, upon her return, she won't dump him and will spend the rest of her days looking after him, right? The 21-y.o. son is a pathetic 'insurance' for when she is away, this is clear too.
So before you go on your holiday - DISCONTINUE HIS REGIMEN, take everything he has off his hands, tell the GP not to prescribe more and tell him he will resume when a responsible adult (you) is back.
People often say 'somebody is an adult, they should know actions have consequences', well, often enough, it is the reasonable wives who end up with the consequences, not the idiotic family members who allegedly have capacity.

He does not need mothering, but guess who will be wasting her and/or money looking after the bed-ridden 'grown adult' upon her return if he does not behave like a 'grown adult' whilst she is on holiday?

Yeah, go, enjoy the 10 days of holiday and then face the consequences when you come back - if he is crippled, who do you think will be facing the consequences? She should confiscate all the meds before she goes - or better still, institutionalise him for a week or so - surely there are more investigations to be carried out in hospital - re-admit him or something or make repeat appointments at GP to monitor bloods or suchlike - this man seems to have the same capacity as a house pet, you would not leave a house pet unattended and go on hols?

That's true.
But it sounds like he's going to be an idiot either way so OP may as well enjoy her holiday!

Maybe pretend you will be out of phone range for the holiday otherwise he might engineer a crisis to bring you home

You are absolutely right. I am just speaking from personal experience, bitter experience.

I would go, I had an awful time with the 5mg with stomach problems. Not as bad as your DH granted but he's a grown up, he can stop taking it or be more aware this time if the effects of dehydration. How long are you away? He can presumably call you if he's feeling terrible and you could get him help. Or he can call for help himself. Surely he'll be doing everything he can to avoid that situation again.

I agree with everyone else -you should go. I don't blame you for being worried though.

I do wonder if he has form for this? Being irresponsible so that you have to swoop in and save the day, often to your own detriment? It's very self destructive behaviour to be mismanaging weight loss drugs, especially with a heart condition.

Why do you care about his health more than he does? Go on your holiday and leave the adult to manage his medication.

If you’re worried enough to consider cancelling a holiday, you should get this checked out medically.

I know in the UK it’s considered unacceptable to seek medical treatment for anything less than imminent death, but set aside the politics of a failing healthcare system for a minute.

For whatever reason, your dh isn’t making good decisions and there could be a dangerous consequence. If you think it’s manipulation call his bluff, but if he’s cognitively compromised for some reason, I’d follow it up. We tend to be very judgemental about people who put their health at risk but it’s important to take into account that there can be reasons for poor decision making.

I haven’t been lucky to live in a world of sensible, balanced, component adults - I’ve been dealing with nd, dementia, anorexia, suicidal ideation and phobia, and the fact that stupid decisions are taken is a reason to help, not to condemn.

Don’t cancel your holiday. But I would definitely seek medical help urgently. If it’s nothing, you’ll be able to go with an easy mind, and if it’s something you’ll be able to go knowing he’s being dealt with.

OP I do hope he stops taking them, I'm a nurse and in the last month have already had 3 admissions due to complications from taking mounjaro (all male patients actually) one of them is still in hospital and on IV fluids because the diarrhoea is relentless and his bloods are all deranged. This particular patient took 2 paracetamol and passed them in the same form, so stuff is literally going straight through him. No one talks about the complications, just how brilliant they are for easy weight loss!

He’s a. An adult and b. An idiot. Why are you giving this a second thought?!

I understand your worry. I'd worry too but I think you should go.

Ask your son to keep an eye - is there anyone else around as back up for your son? Friends close by you could explain the situation to so they can also keep an eye on them both?

Hope you do go and have a fantastic girls break 😘

He's an adult, and assuming he doesn't have a learning disability, should be taking responsibility for his own health and wellbeing.
You need to go on holiday with your daughter. He and his son can manage at home together.
My view is that, if he has changed his dose without supervision, he's an idiot, and shouldn't be able to access the drug. You'd have thought he'd have gotten enough of a fright with his recent hospital experience.

Go.

Have a great time.

I'd go. He can contact you in an emergency or call an ambulance.

Probably because she'll end up as his carer if he carries on being so irresponsible.

You should go, of course. He is an adult, and can - and should - take responsibility for his own choices and actions,