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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WWYD - Husband I’m well and I’m due to go on holiday

187 replies

AmIEnough · 08/05/2025 07:36

Hi all! I’m posting for a bit of advice here as I really don’t know what to do. My DH has been on Mounjaro for a period of time and about a month ago became very unwell with an upset tummy. He wasn’t replacing fluids as much as he should and ended up incredibly dehydrated and after three days of continually getting worse he finally collapsed. Long story short I ended up calling an ambulance and they took him into hospital where they gave him bags and bags of fluid and IV antibiotics. He was there overnight and it transpires that they were incredibly worried about him because he has heart disease and his haemoglobin levels were so high that his blood was really thick and they were concerned that he was going to have a heart attack. They actually told him that had I not called the ambulance when I did they would be looking at a very different situation.

Fast forward to today and he’s now got an upset tummy again. I think self-inflicted because he’s gone up to the next dose having only been on the lower dose for one week which is not the norm.

He’s managing it better as he’s drinking a lot and I’ve bought him isotonic drinks to help replace the salts and electrolytes but my dilemma is that my 18-year-old daughter and I are due to go on holiday on Saturday for the first girls only holiday we’ve ever had. It’s taken me a year to save up for it and we’ve booked ourselves a couple of trips.

My question is do we go or do I cancel it or try and rearrange it? I think I’ll probably end up losing all my money and my daughter will be devastated, as will I of course but I just can’t predict how my husband is going to be this time round and whether he will manage things better knowing that his fluid intake was nowhere near sufficient last time.

Just looking for advice really.

To add, his 21-year-old son also lives here and will be around.

OP posts:
andtheworldrollson · 08/05/2025 08:48

And maybes dig out some of the testimonies of people who have almost killed themselves and those who have had a loved one die

Flamingoknees · 08/05/2025 08:51

Assuming he has mental capacity - you imo must go, or you will be forever in this situation. Also, I would not be ringing or messaging home, whilst you are away. You owe this to yourself and DD. I'd make it clear to DS that he is NOT responsible for his DF, but ensure he can contact you in an absolute emergency. I suspect, without you there, DH will do enough to stay alive. What an arse. Have a lovely holiday OP.

BangersAndGnash · 08/05/2025 08:56

Go.

You cannot spend your life hanging on to and being controlled by ‘what ifs’ around your DH.

Tell him he needs to take care and act within medical advice to avoid putting himself at risk, and giving unfair stress to your Ds.

Make sure your Ds knows what to do in an emergency but emphasise that he is not actually responsible for his Dad’s behaviour or health.

I hope your DH stabilises his health and improves.

Vaxtable · 08/05/2025 08:58

Go.

HollidaySunshine · 08/05/2025 08:59

He needs to go back to the correct dose, the absolute idiot.

AnotherSadness · 08/05/2025 09:00

Go on your holiday. And consider extending it, unless he agrees to look after his own damn health.

TheSlantedOwl · 08/05/2025 09:02

Go.

rainbowstardrops · 08/05/2025 09:06

Go! He’s a grown adult and he has his adult son there. Tell him to stop pissing around with his medication and grow up.

Scousemousey · 08/05/2025 09:10

Go on holiday, your son is there with DH.
Do you think if the situation was reversed he would change his plans?

PinkyFlamingo · 08/05/2025 09:14

Why would you even consider not going. He's a grown adult who knows fine well he should be drinking enough, he's not a child!

VisitationRights · 08/05/2025 09:27

Of course you go.

abracadabra1980 · 08/05/2025 09:28

Take the holiday. Your husband is a grown man and having had one warning, needs to accept responsibility for his own actions, which quite frankly, are ignorant and selfish.

Fluffyc1ouds · 08/05/2025 09:32

He's a grown up and this is self inflicted. Of course you should go.

TreeDudette · 08/05/2025 09:33

Go - he's a grown up and has another grown up around if he needs!

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 08/05/2025 09:36

Go and enjoy it!

NotDarkGothicMama · 08/05/2025 09:37

Go and have fun. Your DH is a grown up who knows the symptoms to look out for if he needs medical attention. He has another adult with him.

fruitbrewhaha · 08/05/2025 09:38

After all that he is still taking it?

Its fucked up. He shouldn’t be taking it at all and not upping the dose. I’d be furious.

Go on holiday.

Shoxfordian · 08/05/2025 09:38

Go on your trip, make sure his son knows to keep an eye on him as he's incapable of adult behaviour himself - not attractive 🙄

notatinydancer · 08/05/2025 09:39

Definitely go on holiday.

Peridot1 · 08/05/2025 09:42

Is he always an idiot? Not drinking enough on Mounjaro so that you end up collapsing is stupid. Going up a dose too early after that is even more stupid.

I would definitely go on holiday. I would give him one hell of a talking to about being so damn stupid. And leave him to his own stupidity.

And I’d tell his son to leave him to it also. If he can’t be a grown up and be sensible about his health he deserves to be left to his own stupidity.

Blackdow · 08/05/2025 09:44

Who prescribed him the next dose up after just one week? The pen lasts 4 weeks. Did he double dose or something?

Have you read him the riot act for his idiotic behaviour? Do not cancel your holiday. Sit him down and talk to him about what he is doing and how it is going to affect you and ask him what his plan is to take care of himself.

Wishboneswishes · 08/05/2025 09:45

Your life is equally important. Sounds like he’s been your priority for a while.
Definitely time to put yourself and your DD first and prioritise you.
Go go go! 💕

YosemiteTrail24 · 08/05/2025 09:45

Peridot1 · 08/05/2025 09:42

Is he always an idiot? Not drinking enough on Mounjaro so that you end up collapsing is stupid. Going up a dose too early after that is even more stupid.

I would definitely go on holiday. I would give him one hell of a talking to about being so damn stupid. And leave him to his own stupidity.

And I’d tell his son to leave him to it also. If he can’t be a grown up and be sensible about his health he deserves to be left to his own stupidity.

Exactly this. What idiot goes up a dose after only one week when they have already been in hospital!!! Moron.

Go away and have a lovely time.

MounjaroMounjaro · 08/05/2025 09:45

So being in hospital didn't teach him anything at all? How difficult would it be for him to set a timer on his phone so that he's prompted to have a glass of water every hour?

I would go on holiday - I wouldn't let my daughter down.

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 08/05/2025 09:51

I presume he is taking Mounjaro for weightloss? Has he bought it online or is it prescribed by his GP?

He is not taking it correctly. Also, is he eating correctly or enough? Fluid replacement sachets are a good thing to have to hand. It is his responsibility but maybe he should do some more research.

Go on holiday and enjoy yourself.