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AIBU?

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Original poster

WWYD - Husband I’m well and I’m due to go on holiday

187 replies

AmIEnough · 08/05/2025 07:36

Hi all! I’m posting for a bit of advice here as I really don’t know what to do. My DH has been on Mounjaro for a period of time and about a month ago became very unwell with an upset tummy. He wasn’t replacing fluids as much as he should and ended up incredibly dehydrated and after three days of continually getting worse he finally collapsed. Long story short I ended up calling an ambulance and they took him into hospital where they gave him bags and bags of fluid and IV antibiotics. He was there overnight and it transpires that they were incredibly worried about him because he has heart disease and his haemoglobin levels were so high that his blood was really thick and they were concerned that he was going to have a heart attack. They actually told him that had I not called the ambulance when I did they would be looking at a very different situation.

Fast forward to today and he’s now got an upset tummy again. I think self-inflicted because he’s gone up to the next dose having only been on the lower dose for one week which is not the norm.

He’s managing it better as he’s drinking a lot and I’ve bought him isotonic drinks to help replace the salts and electrolytes but my dilemma is that my 18-year-old daughter and I are due to go on holiday on Saturday for the first girls only holiday we’ve ever had. It’s taken me a year to save up for it and we’ve booked ourselves a couple of trips.

My question is do we go or do I cancel it or try and rearrange it? I think I’ll probably end up losing all my money and my daughter will be devastated, as will I of course but I just can’t predict how my husband is going to be this time round and whether he will manage things better knowing that his fluid intake was nowhere near sufficient last time.

Just looking for advice really.

To add, his 21-year-old son also lives here and will be around.

OP posts:
chailatte8 · 08/05/2025 11:22

100% go

Thelnebriati · 08/05/2025 11:25

Does he have form for sabotaging events that don't include him? Go on holiday and enjoy yourself, he's a grown adult and makes his own choices.

DaisyChain505 · 08/05/2025 11:26

Your husband is a grown adult. He does not need babysitting. Go on the holiday.

Dweetfidilove · 08/05/2025 11:26

Profhilodisaster · 08/05/2025 11:11

Probably because she'll end up as his carer if he carries on being so irresponsible.

Show quote history

He seems headed that way anyway, so she might as well enjoy the time she has before then ☹️.

BestestBrownies · 08/05/2025 11:28

This is a grown man you're talking about right? You are his partner, not his mummy. If he wants to fuck about with his dosage whilst fully aware of the potential consequences, then that's entirely on him. It is in no way your responsibility to save him from himself.

Is he deliberately sabotaging your hard-earned holiday plans or just a thick, selfish tosser?

I had one like that (past tense), who would engineer personal 'emergencies' to prevent me from doing things without him or that didn't centre him.

yeesh · 08/05/2025 11:30

Go on the holiday

andweallloveclover · 08/05/2025 11:30

I mirror everyone else. He is an adult, and there is another adult around too. He can take care of his own health. You are not his babysitter.

Please don't deprive yourself of this holiday with your DD when he is more than capable of taking responsibility for himself.

Yes you might worry but you can call him everyday if you want, or Facetime him, and stay in contact if it helps you feel better.

Go and have a wonderful holiday making memories with your DD ❤

Kipperandarthur · 08/05/2025 11:31

You absolutely go.

He should not be playing around with these weight loss injections. He should be following the correct dose and doing the necessary to keep hydrated. He really is being an idiot.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 08/05/2025 11:32

Fast forward to today and he’s now got an upset tummy again. I think self-inflicted because he’s gone up to the next dose having only been on the lower dose for one week which is not the norm

Wtf?

Go on your holiday and tell yogr dh to act like an adult. Hydrate properly and stop dicking about with his medication.

Bourbonbonbon · 08/05/2025 11:33

You should go but first, notify everyone he wouldn't want to know that he could be ill and needs checking in on. That way he might be determined in future to show everyone there was absolutely no need and behave like a responsible adult.

nomas · 08/05/2025 11:37

You should absolutely go. He needs to learn the consequences of his choices and can’t rely on you to run around after him after his own stupid behaviour like not drinking water.

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 08/05/2025 11:40

He is either very very stupid or a manipulative bully. Or possibly both.

Whatever the truth of this is, do NOT change your plans to accommodate him.

ShakeNvacStevens · 08/05/2025 11:45

Go on holiday, your DH will have his adult son with him and he will also know this time what symptoms to look out for regarding whether he needs to go to hospital. He's also literally bringing this situation on himself by going up a dose way too early when the risks of doing so are well known - is there a possibility he's deliberately trying to sabotage your holiday?

Sosigsandwich · 08/05/2025 11:50

Absolutely go, he sounds like a twat

BruhWhy · 08/05/2025 11:53

Why isn't he taking the medication as prescribed? Is he mad?

Go on holiday. Let the responsible adults around him know that he's hurting himself on purpose and will likely need checking on. Ridiculous.

Owl55 · 08/05/2025 11:53

Hide the pills the day you go on holiday and enjoy your holiday!

Kubricklayer · 08/05/2025 11:56

Perhaps I'm being ignorant but is Mounjaro used solely for weight loss? Or does it have another medical purpose?

Surely this is a prime example of how some medications are not a good substitute to alterations to diet and exercise. The first incident would have scared me off the medication and given me the drive to improve my health via a stricter diet and exercise regime. Although I appreciate it's not always that simple.

I would go on your holiday OP, but also pre-empt some other family members so the burden isn't soley on DS.

BlueMum16 · 08/05/2025 12:04

Absolutely go.

I would recommend from personal experience with my DH, who also ended up in A&E from increasing the dose that your DH stops these jabs.

My DH ended up seriously ill twice. First time we had no idea why and in A&E for 24 hours on a drip.

Second time was two weeks later, I thought he'd stopped the jabs but only did for a while and then increased his dose ending up I'll again. Refused the ambulance because he knew better and what it was.

His were an online prescription. When he actually spoke to the GP the dose was too high and even questionable if he should have taken at all.

He lost 4 stone on the jabs.
1 stone being ill.
Now with healthier food choices and using a gym hes lost maybe another stone.

Tell him to stop, sort himself out and enjoy your holiday.

He's an adult and needs to make adult choices.

BeNavyCrab · 08/05/2025 12:06

He is being incredibly stupid and putting his health at risk. I'm guessing he's self funded rather than getting the Mounjaro through the NHS? I don't know what dose he's on but he shouldn't be increasing the dose any quicker than after 4 weeks. The medication actually builds up in the body over the first three weeks, so you need to maintain the same dose. No NHS doctor would allow him to change doses so quickly as he's increasing the side effects and the chances of the severe side effects., some of them can be life altering.

It might be that he's not feeling the thirst as he should but still is dehydrated.
I and many others fine Mounjaro very dehydrating and at the start of treatment for at least 6 months, I feel an incredible thirst that felt like it was difficult to slake. It had a knock on effect of making me feel nauseous. Taking rehydration drinks twice a day and as much fluids as I could in between really helped. So did stopping eating as soon as I started to feel any sort of fullness in my stomach.

As far as you going on holiday, I would still go but make a schedule where he has to video call you so you can check how he is. I would also get him to reduce his dose back to the previous level when you are away. You can also get urine test strips that he can use, so he's got actual evidence of if he's drinking enough or not. It would put your mind at rest and would give him the indication of if he's feeling ill due to dehydration or it's something else.

The fact that they gave him both IV antibiotics and fluids means he must have had an infection which would have had a contribution to his collapse and now he doesn't have it, he should be less likely to collapse again.

I understand your anxiety though and I would also talk to his 21 year old son to see if he can keep an eye out.
Ultimately it's up to him to be sensible to act like a fully grown human and take precautions so you don't have to go away terrified the idiot is going to do himself serious harm, especially if he's able to reduce the chances!!

If he won't, I would consider telling his GP or who ever is responsible for prescribing the Mounjaro that he's being irresponsible with it.

MiniCooperLover · 08/05/2025 12:13

You absolutely go! It seems a strong coincidence to me that you are just about to go on a lovely break away and suddenly again he's unwell. If I wasn't a cynic I'd be thinking there might be a bit of sabotage going on here. If he's adult enough to use the Mounjaro he's adult enough to deal with the consequences of not taking it properly!

thesugarbumfairy · 08/05/2025 12:17

Go Op. How dare he jeopardise your holiday by being a fucking idiot. He might not think that's what he's doing, but he must know you well enough to realise that you are even considering it.
Jesus, even people not on MJ know you need to take a dose for a month before moving up a dose.
Give him a piece of your mind first though.

MumWifeOther · 08/05/2025 12:18

AmIEnough · 08/05/2025 07:36

Hi all! I’m posting for a bit of advice here as I really don’t know what to do. My DH has been on Mounjaro for a period of time and about a month ago became very unwell with an upset tummy. He wasn’t replacing fluids as much as he should and ended up incredibly dehydrated and after three days of continually getting worse he finally collapsed. Long story short I ended up calling an ambulance and they took him into hospital where they gave him bags and bags of fluid and IV antibiotics. He was there overnight and it transpires that they were incredibly worried about him because he has heart disease and his haemoglobin levels were so high that his blood was really thick and they were concerned that he was going to have a heart attack. They actually told him that had I not called the ambulance when I did they would be looking at a very different situation.

Fast forward to today and he’s now got an upset tummy again. I think self-inflicted because he’s gone up to the next dose having only been on the lower dose for one week which is not the norm.

He’s managing it better as he’s drinking a lot and I’ve bought him isotonic drinks to help replace the salts and electrolytes but my dilemma is that my 18-year-old daughter and I are due to go on holiday on Saturday for the first girls only holiday we’ve ever had. It’s taken me a year to save up for it and we’ve booked ourselves a couple of trips.

My question is do we go or do I cancel it or try and rearrange it? I think I’ll probably end up losing all my money and my daughter will be devastated, as will I of course but I just can’t predict how my husband is going to be this time round and whether he will manage things better knowing that his fluid intake was nowhere near sufficient last time.

Just looking for advice really.

To add, his 21-year-old son also lives here and will be around.

It sounds like your husband should come off this drug to be honest, and try to maintain a healthier life style now some weight has hopefully come off.

I hope you and your daughter make your holiday

TeenLifeMum · 08/05/2025 12:22

MumWifeOther · 08/05/2025 12:18

It sounds like your husband should come off this drug to be honest, and try to maintain a healthier life style now some weight has hopefully come off.

I hope you and your daughter make your holiday

Show quote history

Or just use it as prescribed! There’s a reason for the staged increases. As I’ve gone up the stages I’ve felt less and less side effects. Now I don’t even have any. He also needs to eat foods that don’t trigger the sickness response - does he eat lots of fatty foods?

Go on the holiday and leave him with the isotonic drinks. Have a fab time!

kiwiane · 08/05/2025 12:26

Read him the riot act and go on holiday; ask your son if he’d mind monitoring his foolish dad. His GP won’t discuss him with you but you can make them aware.

Imbusytodaysorry · 08/05/2025 12:30

@AmIEnough I’d go ! Now I have a soft heart but he is doing this to himself .
It his body and choice but while taking it he hasn’t been doing what’s he’s told ., and now again he’s upping the doze when he has been so unwell.
Id be annoyed at how selfish he is. .
Go your holiday and u see not circumstances come home early .