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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WWYD - Husband I’m well and I’m due to go on holiday

187 replies

AmIEnough · 08/05/2025 07:36

Hi all! I’m posting for a bit of advice here as I really don’t know what to do. My DH has been on Mounjaro for a period of time and about a month ago became very unwell with an upset tummy. He wasn’t replacing fluids as much as he should and ended up incredibly dehydrated and after three days of continually getting worse he finally collapsed. Long story short I ended up calling an ambulance and they took him into hospital where they gave him bags and bags of fluid and IV antibiotics. He was there overnight and it transpires that they were incredibly worried about him because he has heart disease and his haemoglobin levels were so high that his blood was really thick and they were concerned that he was going to have a heart attack. They actually told him that had I not called the ambulance when I did they would be looking at a very different situation.

Fast forward to today and he’s now got an upset tummy again. I think self-inflicted because he’s gone up to the next dose having only been on the lower dose for one week which is not the norm.

He’s managing it better as he’s drinking a lot and I’ve bought him isotonic drinks to help replace the salts and electrolytes but my dilemma is that my 18-year-old daughter and I are due to go on holiday on Saturday for the first girls only holiday we’ve ever had. It’s taken me a year to save up for it and we’ve booked ourselves a couple of trips.

My question is do we go or do I cancel it or try and rearrange it? I think I’ll probably end up losing all my money and my daughter will be devastated, as will I of course but I just can’t predict how my husband is going to be this time round and whether he will manage things better knowing that his fluid intake was nowhere near sufficient last time.

Just looking for advice really.

To add, his 21-year-old son also lives here and will be around.

OP posts:
OneTC · 08/05/2025 18:11

Up until your last line i was leaning towards stay but there's another adult around, leave em to it

coxesorangepippin · 08/05/2025 18:12

I cannot believe you're considering not going

Of course you should go!!

NeverDropYourMooncup · 08/05/2025 18:24

So, the only reason he survived was - according to him - that you were there? And he needs you to buy him stuff so he doesn't repeat that, despite him being perfectly capable of buying the medication in the first place AND ignoring the directions in increasing dose?

Go on holiday.

Hotflushesandchilblains · 08/05/2025 18:29

FFS why are you babying a grown man who has another grown man around for support? Why should your daughter lose out because you live with man-babies? Just go. Time for him to grow up.

thismummydrinksgin · 08/05/2025 21:41

His sons around, he is a grown man. Unless he is desperately ill when you are due to go I don’t see why you would stay?

lunar1 · 08/05/2025 21:47

I really hope you go on that holiday. He’s deliberately misusing the injections, I’m on them and the main thing they stress is managing dose changes carefully and keeping hydrated.

MumWifeOther · 08/05/2025 23:14

TeenLifeMum · 08/05/2025 12:22

Or just use it as prescribed! There’s a reason for the staged increases. As I’ve gone up the stages I’ve felt less and less side effects. Now I don’t even have any. He also needs to eat foods that don’t trigger the sickness response - does he eat lots of fatty foods?

Go on the holiday and leave him with the isotonic drinks. Have a fab time!

There are still many side effects - many of which we don’t even know of yet. It’s much better to do it with lifestyle / diet as a pp said

TeenLifeMum · 08/05/2025 23:45

MumWifeOther · 08/05/2025 23:14

There are still many side effects - many of which we don’t even know of yet. It’s much better to do it with lifestyle / diet as a pp said

It’s been used for diabetes patients for 20 years. Most side effects are mild and reduce so long as you introduce it to your body appropriately.

AmIEnough · 09/05/2025 08:12

NeverDropYourMooncup · 08/05/2025 18:24

So, the only reason he survived was - according to him - that you were there? And he needs you to buy him stuff so he doesn't repeat that, despite him being perfectly capable of buying the medication in the first place AND ignoring the directions in increasing dose?

Go on holiday.

Yes, the staff at the hospital actually said to him that I saved his life! The more I read these posts the more I am beginning to resent his behaviour. He also ruined my birthday yesterday as a result of this!

OP posts:
AmIEnough · 09/05/2025 08:14

Lucelady · 08/05/2025 14:31

If your husband ended up in hospital because of the WLJ he needs to stop taking them. I was admitted to A and E after three weeks due to gallbladder complications. I would not try again.
If he is obese still I recommend a therapist. I lost four stone this way. My excess weight was trauma induced.
Do not cancel your holiday because that feels like cohesive control to me if he is playing the 'don't go card'.
If he doesn't inject again he'll be OK. Jane plan works I believe. Expensive but all done for you.
I'm now 26 bmi from 43. I just stopped beating myself up and quit the booze. His choice.

Wow! You’ve done amazingly well!!! Thank you for your comments x

OP posts:
kalokagathos · 09/05/2025 08:16

I would go on holiday 💯

C8H10N4O2 · 09/05/2025 08:21

AmIEnough · 09/05/2025 08:12

Yes, the staff at the hospital actually said to him that I saved his life! The more I read these posts the more I am beginning to resent his behaviour. He also ruined my birthday yesterday as a result of this!

He’s a grown adult not a sick child. Is there any physical reason why he can’t follow the standard instructions with the medication and buy his own drinks? Or just turn on the tap and drink water ixed with a pinch of salt and a larger pinch sugar added (which is what I made for the DC when ill rather than buy “isotonic” powders). Either he learns to manage the medication properly or its not suitable for him. There will also be another grown adult in the house.

Does he have form for this kind of behaviour if you are going away/have plans or is this out of character?

AmIEnough · 09/05/2025 08:23

BruhWhy · 08/05/2025 11:53

Why isn't he taking the medication as prescribed? Is he mad?

Go on holiday. Let the responsible adults around him know that he's hurting himself on purpose and will likely need checking on. Ridiculous.

This is why I’m so angry. He was on 5 mg for one week and then decided that because he started to get food cravings for sugary and carbohydrate rich foods that it wasn’t working well enough (and clearly he can’t exercise any self restraint) so he decided to increase the dose having still got three weeks of the lower dose left to use! And now here we are, he’s ill again! The more I ponder this, the more angry I’m becoming in fact, I’m can hardly look him in the eye at the moment!

OP posts:
AmIEnough · 09/05/2025 08:25

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 08/05/2025 11:40

He is either very very stupid or a manipulative bully. Or possibly both.

Whatever the truth of this is, do NOT change your plans to accommodate him.

I think he is the former, just very stupid and utterly selfish actually. Love your username by the way!

OP posts:
AmIEnough · 09/05/2025 08:37

Blackdow · 08/05/2025 09:44

Who prescribed him the next dose up after just one week? The pen lasts 4 weeks. Did he double dose or something?

Have you read him the riot act for his idiotic behaviour? Do not cancel your holiday. Sit him down and talk to him about what he is doing and how it is going to affect you and ask him what his plan is to take care of himself.

This was exactly my thought! He’s purchasing it privately and there doesn’t seem to be anyonemonitoring how soon he is ordering or requesting the next dose up! The whole thing sounds very unsupervised and very dangerous

OP posts:
AmIEnough · 09/05/2025 08:45

edwinbear · 08/05/2025 08:45

Go on holiday. He has another adult in the house if there are any issues, but he's being wreckless with the Mounjaro (and I say that as someone on it myself). Why on earth has a gone up a dose when he had issues at the last dosage? What did the doctors say about him remaining on it given it's given him serious complications?

The doctors at the hospital told him to stop taking it but he’s purchasing it privately so hasn’t actually gone through his own GP so nobody knows that he’s actually been ill or been in hospital due to the complications with this drug.

OP posts:
AmIEnough · 09/05/2025 08:48

@C8H10N4O2
He doesn’t have form for this kind of behaviour but he can be very selfish when it comes to what he wants to do or what he wants to get out of the situation on occasion.

OP posts:
CoastalCalm · 09/05/2025 08:51

isotonic drinks aren’t enough , order him a tub of electrolytes and get yourself away for a break - he is an adult and should be able to look after himself , he knows the risks and one would hope would react to the signs of dehydration earlier

dayslikethese1 · 09/05/2025 08:54

Why has he upped his dose so quick? That seems dangerous. If you go on the holiday the son can check on him.

atamlin · 09/05/2025 09:04

You poor thing. He’s being very selfish messing around with the medication. Go on holiday with your daughter and have the best time, don’t let him message you moaning. Tell him if he feels as bad to call his own ambulance.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 09/05/2025 09:14

AmIEnough · 09/05/2025 08:12

Yes, the staff at the hospital actually said to him that I saved his life! The more I read these posts the more I am beginning to resent his behaviour. He also ruined my birthday yesterday as a result of this!

They didn't actually say it to you, though - did they? You're relying upon his account of what they said (which just so happens to encourage thinking that his survival hangs upon you being present, rather than having a lovely holiday with your daughter) when he's clearly not telling the truth about his medication choices to the prescribers or his GP, so is already proven to be a lying idiot.

Daleksatemyshed · 09/05/2025 09:59

Well if the hospital staff said you saved him he should be bloody grateful, not behaving like an arse! Sorry Op, your posts are really annoying me because he's being so stupid, his heart isn't healthy and he's seriously risking his health. Holiday or not it's time to read him the riot act, he's behaving like a child

BangersAndGnash · 09/05/2025 10:05

How did he ruin your birthday OP?

Bumblebeestiltskin · 09/05/2025 10:27

AmIEnough · 09/05/2025 08:45

The doctors at the hospital told him to stop taking it but he’s purchasing it privately so hasn’t actually gone through his own GP so nobody knows that he’s actually been ill or been in hospital due to the complications with this drug.

Oh my god, what an absolute idiot. Do you even want to stay married to him?

AmIEnough · 09/05/2025 10:33

BangersAndGnash · 09/05/2025 10:05

How did he ruin your birthday OP?

Only that we had to cancel plans with friends as he wasn’t well enough to go

OP posts: